Resettling Difficulties

[*PinkLilly*]

Well we have turned a corner....a BAD corner. Now she fights me EVERYTIME I try and put her down - not just to re-settle. I've tried wrapping her tighter (she was never wrapped very tightly anyway), un-wrapping her, tucking her in tightly without the wrap....you name it.

I'm in tears evertime I try and put her down. She crys constantly!!!! As soon as I start towards her room to put her down it starts. She's fighting me...

I'm sitting here just sobing...

[onthefly]

PinkLilly - hugs.
She is of an age where these things tend to change...
DS was the same at that age - he was extremely overtired from not sleeping enough day or night. We broke the cycle by carrying him in the hug-a-bub all day (do you have one or a sling or somethign you could try?) and after a few days of 5-6 hours of sleep during the day, he began to catch up to the point where we could implement the solutions in the no-cry sleep book. It worked, for a couple of months,,... Not what you want to hear probably, but he's right back in the same hole again now.
Re resettling - do you start before she wakes up or wait till she's already stirred? Sometimes if I creep in 5 mintues before he's due to wake and put my hand on his chest his eys flutter and he sleeps on....

[Arimeh]

I wish i was there to give you that in person!!!!

I find, if DD is seriously fighting sleep - either one of three things works -
1. I sit her up on my shoulder and burp the hell outta her;
2. I wrap her tightly and turn her inwards towards me, with her dummy stuck in her mouth and let her wear herself out by fighting and screaming against me; or
3. I put her down.

Sometimes, we have found, we have been holding her too much, and quite frankly - she's sick of us.. lol

So sometimes if she is really cranky and NOTHING seems to stop her - I just put her down next to me on the couch, and she stops grizzling..

She isn't wrapped to sleep anymore though since she sleeps on her belly...

[thepixie]

PinkLilly I really hope it is just a short stage. DD was doing this a bit last week and a bit this week too, to put her down at night I had to wrap her really tight and hold her against me, rock her, shush her, try to keep a dummy shoved in her mouth with my breast all at the same time. She would fight for about five minutes before even calming down to a point where she could be settled. Thankfully it didn't go on for very long (touch wood) and she does sleep through the night. She is teething too and bonjela has become my best friend.
ETA - I've just put her down for a nap and she fought for about five minutes.... I put her in the rocker, with some chillout music on really quite loud and rocked it. she was crying but protesting crying, not hysterical crying. After about five minutes she went into vacant stare and then finally conked out. I guess if you know she's tired you just have to persist through the protests. Not easy though,

[queenbee]

Well we have turned a corner....a BAD corner. Now she fights me EVERYTIME I try and put her down - not just to re-settle. I've tried wrapping her tighter (she was never wrapped very tightly anyway), un-wrapping her, tucking her in tightly without the wrap....you name it.

I'm in tears evertime I try and put her down. She crys constantly!!!! As soon as I start towards her room to put her down it starts. She's fighting me...

I'm sitting here just sobing...

PinkLilly, can't you just hold her whilst she sleeps? Just until she gets over this phase she is going through. Like I have said in my previous 2 posts, my DD also did this at 4.5months and I just slept with her everytime, she eventually came out of it but it will give you rest in the meantime. Do you really have to put her down in her cot at this time? You poor thing...I know exactly how you are feeling.. xx

[*PinkLilly*]

Pixie & Mel - I do hold her against me, dummy shoved in and try to wait till the fight goes out of her...but I'm talking 30 mins! She's just super stuborn! I've also tried putting her down. She just keeps working herself up and making it hard to settle her.

Queen - I don't want to get into the habit of having to hold her while she sleeps. I think it may just set me up for more dramas later if she gets used to it.

I have called Karitane in desperation and am going to try and get a home visit from one of the volunteers for some ideas. If no luck there, a stay at the sleep centre may be in order

[queenbee]

Queen - I don't want to get into the habit of having to hold her while she sleeps. I think it may just set me up for more dramas later if she gets used to it.

Fair enough, everyone is different and every family chooses to do what works for them. Well my DD co-sleep for 10 whole months and from 4.5months I slept with her for a month or so and now she goes straight into her own toddler bed, every slept through day and of a night. So it didn't set any dramas up here...best of luck though

[thepixie]

yeah 30 minutes is nuts.... that would wear me out too
Ministry of Sound on high volume while swaddled in the rocker is working on my DD at the moment and if nothing else at least it drowns out the crying!
hope Karitane can help hon, GL

[luey]

I have been there too. hun it is hard. Just depends how you want to go about it. I had up to 45mins of him crying, me there and comforting him and picking him up when he was really distressed and cuddling him to sleep. Not that gentle though but I was at the end of tether and had to do something. When he was doing the screaming in the cot thing I started rocking him to sleep but eventually he would wake when i put him down.

I have a fisher price swing thing that I hardly used have just started using it for sleeps during the day and the other day he slept for almost 2 hours. The music drove me nuts but worth it. Maybe see if you can hire one for a few weeks.

The most important thing is for you to get some rest and be able to relax cos when you get uptight they do too. When you are tired/stressed etc it is so hard to make any changes either. It requires so much strength you just can't do it. You want it too change but is too hard.


A thing to remember is it won't last forever. we had a great night last night(8.30-2, feed then till 5 then 7 then 920) prolly won't happen again but letting you know that there is hope.

[sunshine_sieben]

At around that age, DD used to fight sleep, too. The only thing that worked was either walking her to sleep in the hug a bub. That took aroun 15 minutes, but I had to keep her in there for the remainder of her sleep or she'd wake up again. So I did that for most day sleeps. Or I could feed her to sleep but that took anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours!!! For her to be asleep enough so I could sneak out of bed. So I only did that at night time.
I didn't set myself up for struggles. Things actually got easier and easier and it ended up taking less and less time. There was a period around the 9-12 month mark where things got harder again, but that co-incided with huge developmental milestones and lots of teething, so I don't put it down to co-sleeping and other gentle methods.
We co-slept at night time full time for 6 months, then part time for another 6 months, She still comes into our bed around 5am for a feed and a snuggle and sleeps there til 7 or 8.
She took almost all her day naps in the HAB for 3 months, then partly HAB, partly my bed (sometimes with me) for another 3 months, then her cot for 3 months, and since then, she's been taking all her day naps on my bed because now she can get out safely when she wakes up (usually without me, but I wish I could afford the luxury of having a nap with her).

I hope you find a solution that works for you.
Saša