DD used to self settle before the hip thing happened so it always a nightmare to get her to sleep. She is 3 1/2 now so not an issue. But with DS he self settles and ive noticed the difference with the both kids was routine.
Do you have a routine in order that is the same every single night? With Dd its jarmies, warm milk, both read a book then bed. Kids like repitition so try setting up a night time ritual that its to stimulating.
And with stimulation, are you over doing it which makes him more irratated. I noticed with DS in the car if i start trying to calm him and shooshing him he actually gets worse. But just a low soothing tune (same one all the time) does the trick.
DD also used to need a night light like the others have suggested, because she would freak out. It stays on even now because its what she knows. All it is is a lamp with a sarong over it to dull the sharpness.
Try to catch him before he gets over tired because all kids a hard to get down once over tired.
Good luck with it all.