To settle or not to settle...?

[Nicapotamus]

Hi,
We are trying to make sense of all the advice etc around sleeping for our 12 week old. She is sleeping really well over night (8 or 9 hours), then she wakes for a feed about 7am, and straight back to bed for another 2 - 3 hours. (I know, I'm very lucky!) For the rest of the day she doesn't tend to sleep for more than 30 - 60 minutes at a time. The M&CHN has said that if she doesn't sleep for longer than an hour in one go then she isn't sleeping past 1 sleep cycle and settling herself and therefore isn't learning to self settle. But I'm thinking, she definitely goes longer than 1 sleep cycle over night and in the morning, so if she's happy I should just leave it be. We've been trying to settle her back to sleep using patting, rocking, you name it, but she cries and seems to wear herself out more! I'm thinking of stopping trying to sttle her back to sleep in the afternoons. What do people think?

[Snacks]

What do people think?

Here's what I think: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If your DD seems happy with her catnaps I would personally just run with it. She's certainly sleeping beautifully overnight! IMO it depends on what is working for you. Your MCHN is not the one dealing with the sleep/behaviour, so my general rule is to take their advice as information you can use if you want and leave behind if you don't.
Congrats on your little girl

[RhiChiChi]

Here's what I think: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If your DD seems happy with her catnaps I would personally just run with it. She's certainly sleeping beautifully overnight! IMO it depends on what is working for you. Your MCHN is not the one dealing with the sleep/behaviour, so my general rule is to take their advice as information you can use if you want and leave behind if you don't.
Congrats on your little girl

Definately agree with Amy - if you & bubs are happy with the day sleeping arangement then leave it!

[Heaven]

Weird that your MCHN is worrying about self-settling at 12 weeks!! She's just a tiny baby!!

I say just go with your instincts and it will all work out!!

[onthefly]

sounds like you're doing just fine as you are!

[Snacks]

Oo, I forgot to add - if your DD doesn't seem happy and seems like she does need more sleep then I would recommend a sling. My kids have both really loved being in a carrier and have slept well being close to my body, plus you can get stuff done at the same time.
I agree with Heaven that thinking about self-settling is pretty premature at 12 weeks... if at all! Some babies just don't. In her 12 months of life Phoebe has self settled a handful of times - the rest of the time she is fed or rocked or patted to sleep. I'm happy with this (most of the time, LOL!) so don't know why self-settling is put out there as the holy grail of parenting. Some of our snuggles/feeds as she falls asleep are the loveliest moments we have together!

[Fleur]

Here's what I think: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If your DD seems happy with her catnaps I would personally just run with it. She's certainly sleeping beautifully overnight! IMO it depends on what is working for you. Your MCHN is not the one dealing with the sleep/behaviour, so my general rule is to take their advice as information you can use if you want and leave behind if you don't.
Congrats on your little girl

:yeahthat: Couldn't agree more

[RoyaUK]

Completely agree with others - if she's relaxed and happy with her day sleeps don't worry about it. my 4 month old is completely unpredictable. sometimes she'll do 4 lots of 45 mins sleeps in the day, sometimes she'll do a longer sleep say 1.5 hrs then another couple of shorter sleeps.

The easiest ways i've found to resettle to sleep (if she's looking like she needs more) are feeding or popping in a sling but generally if she's not back to sleep within 20 mins, I stop trying. Your DD is having great sleeps at night at the moment which may or may not change soon - a lot of babies start waking around the 3 month stage as there's a lot of developmental stuff happening so i'd say enjoy the sleep and go with the flow.

[Party-of-five]

my DD is older but Ive just come to realise that i spend more time in a day trying to get her to sleep and stressing myself out...so now ive started spending more time playing and less time stressing and she is sleeping less often but for longer...she is also sleeping better at night. she was having lots of little sleeps thru the day but now is having 2 or 3 good sleeps.

[Nicapotamus]

Thanks for your replies. I would prefer if my DD had fewer but longer sleeps in the day, I suppose we'll get there eventually. I find the whole process of observing her for 'tired signs', getting the timing right to put her to bed and then getting her settled in bed quite stressful, so the fewer times I have to do this in a day the better! I think I spend more time on getting her to bed than she spends in bed! I agree in theory about taking the advice lightly, but in practice sometimes this goes out the window and I freak out thinking "oh my god, I've been doing it all wrong I have to do it differently....!" It's good to remember this is advice, not fact!

[Snacks]

Aw, gosh I recognise that all too well! I attended a 'settling seminar' with Natalie when she was a few weeks old. I found it SO hard keeping to a schedule/pattern every sleep of every day but thought I didn't have a choice. I realise for some people it works and I don't want to discount that but I really hope you cut yourself a break - I wish I had've! I have a 3.5yo now and I have NO IDEA where those 3 years went. Sleep is very important and when you don't get a break it can really let you down. But this 'little baby' stage is not forever and you guys will get into a groove regardless of whether you stress about it or not.
All the best.