Oh Kaz that would be HARD! No break for 2.5yrs, no wonder you're frustrated.
I'm not sure if I can help because I know you've tried everything. When you go in to him do you talk to him at all? Are you sitting or lying down? Do you face him or away? With DD1 if she's mucking around I just face the other way and ignore her, tell her 'I'm going to sleep now, goodnight', and then pretend to be asleep.
Can you talk to him about it? I know they're only young but sometimes I just tell DD how it is and even if I don't think she's listening/understanding she then later does something that makes me realise she does know what I'm on about, lol. Maybe sit him down and tell him how tired you are and how it would be so nice if we all slept all night because we would have so much more energy to do fun things during the day! Tell him that if he wakes in the night it's ok to grab his teddy (or whatever he has) and cuddle and go back to sleep. Or tell him that mummy will come and tuck him in and then go back to her room to sleep.
Sorry, I don't have many suggestions! But I do have lots of hugs
Hi There
We have some similar issues - DS1 didnt sleep through until he was close to 3 and DS2 MIGHT JUST be starting.... but he wakes and wants me.
I have been telling DS2 when he goes to bed what I want to happen - 'no crying tonight, stay in bed til its light in the morning, call out if you need me but stay in bed,' and REALLY laying on the praise if he does well overnight. we are having some success with that.
I think they do understand... and they def react well to knowing they are doing a good job of improving!
(hmm I bet DS will be up all night now that I have dared post any advice!!)
Heaven - When I go into him, conversation is minimal - he says he wants to snuggle and we do for 5-10 mins and then I tell him I'm putting him back into bed and he usually goes along with that (not protesting etc) but asks me to stay 'in the chair'. I've never really talked to him at night, even as a newborn (except when I lose my cool and rant and rave a bit cause I'm so tired and over it ). There is a comfy lounge chair in his room opposite his bed that is still there from breastfeeding days so I sit there and he lies in bed. We can't see each other well because it's quite dark in his room and I listen for his breathing etc and try to doze myself. When he comes into our bed I do turn away from him and tell him I'm sleeping. He will either get upset (but I insist lol) or he virtually suction attaches himself to my head and shoulders from behind and lies like that, up high on the pillow, no amount of moving him back changes it. I've seen him do the same to DP when they were in a bed together asleep before I came to bed. The other night I was close to going to the spare room but I knew he'd follow me and it would be the same there. DP must have read my mind because he got up and put DS on his side and DS stayed there all night long and DP ended up in the spare room!
With regard to talking to him during the day, I have done this but probably not consistently. When I have done it he says "no....no way" and laughs. I agree with you guys that I think he does understand.
Maybe I will keep talking to him during the day and before bed and I also think I'm going to whinge more LOL. The other day I whinged in FB about him taking ages to go to sleep and then that night it was a bit quicker and today I made this post and then he was asleep just after 7pm, even though he also had a day sleep today and I can't tell you the last time he went down at 7pm. (We did have an argument and he got a bit upset and a few shenanegans in the room beforehand but I'm focusing on the positive that he is down). He is more than likely catching up on the last week of horror sleep as he asked for dinner really early tonight and wanted to be in bed even though it was still light outside!
Cross your fingers he will stay down all night and I can sleep through and kick this cold to the kerb!!
Does he sleep better if he's in bed with you?
Just a thought - sometimes the more we try to pull away, the more they cling to us, you know? So if he's insecure about being alone at night and worried about you leaving (just a possibility), then insisting on leaving him in his bed may make it worse.
Talking about it is a great idea. It takes time for this to work, but it really can work well.
It goes against a lot of the advice, but sometimes engaging with them is effective. My DS always needed help to calm down and settle for sleep - sitting quietly and avoiding eye contact or not talking to him made him upset, but talking, singing and making him laugh helped him to sleep.
With any luck this phase will pass sooner than you fear. Really hope you get some rest again soon
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