DS is almost 14months old. He is either fed or rocked to sleep (or to very drowsy) every night (if he is still alert after feeding, I have to bounce him on the fit ball till he is very drowsy). This is after a consistent bedtime routine of song, sleeping bag, books, feed. The whole exercise takes 45-60 mins every night. He then wakes usually twice a night (but that's another thread! )
During the day he is either fed to sleep or we go for a drive or a pram walk...
I am just wondering how many other mums still did this for their 12+ month olds and to what age they kept this up?
I'm going through a stage where I'm feeling a bit tired of it, but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to leave him to cry and I can't see him self settling any time soon (in the cot he just bounces around and does laps until he gets upset and wants me and there is no way I can leave the room!)?
Do they just grow out of this? And if so, how do you know when they are ready?
What is the next 'stage' once they don't feed/rock to sleep (or when you just can't do it anymore - he is already getting quite heavy and I have a lot of long standing back problems!). I've heard of people getting into the cot with their bubs and lying down - there is no way I could get in and out of the cot without causing injury and/or a great disturbance!
Also, do many of your 'comforted sleepers' go to bed and self settle easily now (please, is there any hope )?
I then moved to a 'patting' way of comforting DD to get her to sleep. I would lie her down but be sort of cuddling her and have my face right near her head saying 'shhhh sleepy time now' and patting her back. I would gradually move my bod away from hers but keep patting her back. When I thought she was settling and in that 'zone' I would slow my patting and make it lighter and lighter until my mhand was on her back but not patting, then I would walk out. She rewuired less and less patting as weeks went on and then se just started to self settle.
She has a dummy as well which I think helps her to self settle.
I have to say I have a really great sleeper now. If however she is having a bad night I will try and comfort her by giving her a bottle or rocking her but half the time she fights me and deosnt want me to be holding her tightly rocking her.
I fed DD1 to sleep until she was 15 months. I was 5 months pregnant by this stage and wanted/needed a change. For one week, i asked DH to come home early and settle her to bed and i would offer a feed 20 mins or so before sleeptime instead of just before. After a week she had accepted the change. The first 2 days were the hardest for her & DH but we never left her - he sang and hugged her instead of me feeding. She also started sleeping all night at this point too. She self settled not too much later.
I fed DD2 to sleep until she was 16 months - same method of change with DH settling for a week. But she was waking up to 5 times a night at this time and i would feed her to sleep if she woke in the night. This changed 2 weeks before i gave birth to DD3 as i couldn't envisage feeding a toddler & a newborn in the night. Same method - asked DH to attend to DD3 when she woke in the night and just give water saying mummy milk is in bed, it's sleeptime. It took her 3 nights for the protesting to be just winges rather than crying and a week to accept she wasn't having a bf in the night. Now at 2yrs, she wakes just once, has a big drink of water & cuddle & back to sleep. She self settles very easily at night but i do lie down with her at lunchtime for 5 mins until she's asleep (with newborn with us too!) as she finds it hard to switch off in the day.
So with both, although there was crying we never left them on their own crying - always in our arms. Being consistent really helped keep the message clear for them i believe. And now & again i've fed to sleep when i really needed to - if a child was sick and needed the comfort or whatever.
I still feed/rock/cuddle to sleep. DS is 17 months. It can be tiring sometimes if it takes longer than normal. But I figure he won't need this forever so I'm happy to do it for now. Sorry that doesn't really answer your question, but just letting you know we are in the same boat.
I'm in the same boat as you - DS is 14 months and will only feed to sleep. I have no idea whatsoever how I'm going to change this situation. I despair at it a bit sometimes.
Sorry I can't help, I hope you get some good advice here.
DS still feeds to sleep by preference, although he self settles happily at daycare and mostly happily for DP. If I'm here then he prefers to feed to sleep. (He's 28 months btw).
It really does depend on the child.
If you are wanting to help teach your DS to self settle, the No Cry Sleep Solution (E. Pantley) is an excellent resource.
DS1 fed to sleep until I weaned him at 2 yrs 5 mths. We bought a bed for him before he was 2 and I'd lie down with him & feed, then when we weaned I'd lie with him till he was asleep. DH lies down with him now (and often falls asleep himself). I want him to try sitting next to him, then move closer to the door gradually, but he hasn't started that yet.
DS stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime at around 9 months or so, but would still do it very ocasionally if extremely tired until 22 months or so.
For daytime naps I stopped feeding to sleep at around 15 months - just stopped doing it and started cuddling/singing or going for a walk to get him to sleep.
In the past week he has started putting himself to sleep for day naps and is getting closer to doing it at night also. At nearly 2, he is finally ready to do it I guess.
Jazz has ONLY JUST started being able to lay down and fall asleep without beung fed or rocked. During the day she needs a pat to get to sleep, but at night she can now lay on her bed and fall asleep within 15 minutes. The catch is the we need to be in there with her, but its a nice relaxing time.
She started this at about 17 months. To me it seemed like she has started to grow out of it. We still feed to sleep about as often as she falls asleep on her own (not literally since we have to be there but ykwim!) but at least she does fall asleep on her own. She also started sleeping through from 17-18 months.
I really think its something individual, each baby/toddler will do it when they're ready. I hope this helps
I am still doing it with Isabel, although sometimes if she is tired enough I can put her down in her cot and she will drift off to sleep. Although mostly she still needs to be fed or rocked, or both. I am kinda hoping that I won't have to keep doing it for much longer...the feeding is fine, but sometimes the rocking gets very tiring if she is particularly unsettled. Luckily DH is very good at being able to settle her, so he can do it when he is home
My DS was fed to sleep til he was weaned at 23 months.
He mostly co sleeps, so its really pretty easy to get him to sleep. If I'm uncomfortable I just put him in his bed later after he's asleep.
I still occasionally rub his back, or let him have a hand on the boob for comfort, but other than that I highly recommend co sleeping Even if its just til they're asleep.
He started mostly sleeping through a while ago, but has only been sleeping all night every night the last few weeks. Again another reason for co sleeping. I would just attatch him & go back to sleep.
Thanks everyone for your replies! I really appreciate hearing other people's experiences and its really good to know that there are other people in the same boat!
I've certainly tried, at one time or another, some of the things you have had success with (such as patting, getting DH to try and settle, co-sleeping etc). Unfortunately, DS just doesn't want a bar of any of it! He either thinks its playtime or gets more and more upset and hysterical unless his mummy is feeding or 'bouncing' him. (The only other things that sometimes works to calm his is watching TV!?).
I think part of me was hoping that DS would magically just grow out of needing to feed/rock to sleep BEFORE he gets too old (and heavy!). This may be the case I guess, as it was with you Leasha, but it sounds like he may also continue to need help to get to sleep for quite some time too? I guess I'll find out!
Most of the time I don't mind it - as Lady-Bug said, its not forever! Part of me even enjoys being so desperately needed by my little man - he can't be without his mummy! Sometimes, as others have pointed out, it can just be tiring or frustrating, particularly if it takes longer that usual and/or if my back is particularly sore! (It also is awkward timing with getting dinner for DH and I etc and evening socialising is a write off!)
Anyway, I'll see how things go. I might have another look at the NCSS, although I have been through all that to limited success in the past...I don't have the inclination to instigate a process that causes heartache with DS, or that requires a week or so of upheaval in the house - maybe that means I'm not actually 'ready' to stop feeding to sleep anyway??
Marcellus - incidently, how did your bub go to sleep at night after they stopped feeing to sleep at 9 months?
Leasha - how did Jazz first start self settling - how did you know when to try?
After he stopped feeding to sleep he would usually just go to sleep next to me on the mattress. Sometimes we had to hold him. Often we would sing or tell him stories.
My DH would still hold & rock him (standing up) sometimes - too heavy for me.
What age did you rock/feed to sleep until?
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