What constitutes a cry?

[Indadhanu]

Okie dokie, an area of heated debate between mum and I. I don't and won't let Jazz cry herself to sleep. Not that she ever would anyway, she'd just work herself up into a screaming fit.

And what I mean by cry is... anything that is constant and wailing. Her whingey "ner ner eeeeeeeeeeeeeeer ner neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer" is not a cry to me. Friggen annoying, and I hate listening to it as it grates on me! But not a cry. Pretty much anything beyond that I don't really like her to do, for more than a few minutes at most.

I was on the phone to mum and Jazz had woken up and started crying (my definition of a cry) and I walked into the room and said "hang on, Jazz is crying I'll just get her up" to which mum said "oh the little sook, shes not crying she just being a sook, leave her there til she settles down"



BTW, Jazz has never settled herself once shes started crying. She may or may not settle herself when shes whinging, but never crying. I generally let the whinge go until she starts crying (or settles herself down).

I pick Jazz up and internally sigh, knowing whatever I say next will lead to the "you're spoiling her" lecture, and block out the next 5 minutes. I did catch the part where mum told me her definition of a cry... which is my drop everything and run cry (literally, I've broken a plate when Jazz cried like that, I was sitting on the couch with a sandwich on my lap, on a plate, and she did the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH heart stopping scream and I jumped up and smash went the plate...).

Anyway... what is your definition of a cry?

Oh, Shel on the other hand will jump up and get Jazz if she's been whinging for more than a few minutes, even if it hasn't turned into a cry.

What do you do? What is a cry in your books? Is my 'whinge' a cry? When do you pick your bub up?

[Arimeh]

Hmmm.... I let Miss M "talk" in bed before she goes to sleep.. which usually turns into a "grumble".... then goes to a "grizzle" then she falls asleep

I think, for me, the difference between her "grizzle" and "cry" is that her grizzle isn't constant.. its like... "mahhh"..... "nenenenene"... "mahhhhh".....

Whereas her cry is a constant sound - always the same tone - but gets louder. then I usually go in, lean over the cot, stroke her face or her back, give her a kiss, see if she wants the dummy, she'll go quiet, walk out, and then she usually goes to sleep!!

Its not often she wakes up crying so I can't comment on that part.

Helpful? nah, I didn't think so..lol

[Willow]

I think only you can answer that question as her mum, you KNOW when she needs you and when she's just having a 'whinge' or a 'grizzle'.

Your definitions sound spot on to me though.

[Willow]

Whoops, double post

[*Belle*]

I agree with Mel, I was going to say the cry that I go and pick Tara up when she cry is usually an esculated cry, starts with a few grumbles then a few more, then becomes constant and louder and louder. After a few times you get used to it. I let her have a few grumbles as she does before she nods off to sleep but I usually pick her up when her cry esculates and is loud and cold her sing to her and pat her and put her back to bed with her music and that settles her. Of course I first try to settle her in the cot by rubbing her tummy and putting on her music again but if that doesnt work I pick her up. Honey its up to you when you want to pick her up, just go by your instincts hon, your her mum, do what you feel its best, try to block out all the people saying do this do that.

[SamiH]

Nah, you know your own baby and what is a whinge and a cry.

Zander (current bub) does a whinge when he wants to go to bed - now if I am doing something for other kids/toilet/cooking - and he has to wait more than a few minutes - it will then turn into a scream more than a cry - like he is saying - PLEASE put me to bed LOL.

My DD I would never let cry - she has always and still does to this day, cry until she vomits - so controlled crying never worked for her/me/us - and she has only started going to bed herself the last 2 weeks!!

I'm with you - if it escalates from a whinge to a cry - something is wrong with bubs, and they need to trust that they can rely on you/someone to help her - doesnt it help for trust for the future too?? (Maybe thats another can of worms ) - but try that one on your mum hehehehehe.

Those drop dead cries are awful - with all the real tears - its heart breaking ..... my DD scares Zander alot - she is like a little unpredicatable puppy and he nearly cries whenever she comes near him at the moment LOL.

[sweetpea678]

my def of a cry is the same as yours the non stop sounds, i leave bub with the winge, eg nnaaahh......ahhhhh. so the ones with the pauses inbetween is a winge but the one that keeps going is a cry.

My bub winges to let me know time to go to sleep. and even some times to let me know to get her up lol. if left to long turns into a cry and if it is for need sleep if i pick her up and say nigh nigh she smiles puts thumb in mouth as to say about time lol.

[Olive]

i think only a mum can tell her own babies cry/whinge. to someone else it may mean something else, you know your DD the best!

[Ozziehoffy]

I think mine is the same as yours Leash. I tell ya sometimes it's more than annoying when our mother's butt in!! Mum told me off yesterday cos I told her not to talk to Oskar when he was in the naughty corner! Grrrr to them I reckon! You're not "spoiling" her, she's not sooking... you're a great mum to her and she's very lucky.

[Lolli]

Hi Leasha,
I totally agree with you on all points. Isn't it amazing how you get to know what the different noises are?

A cry is a cry, not a whinge. You're Jazz's mum and you know best.

I generally leave a whinge, but never a cry. Same as Mel, my ds will have a bit of whinge- especially if he is overtired, before he drifts off and that is fine with me. But, like Jazz, he just will not settle himself once he gets even a little bit distressed- he cries to the point where he can hardly reath How can that be a better outcome for anyone than a cuddle?

[Oorki Galoorki]

only now at 18 months am i starting to let my dd cry(simply because she is using it as a tool against her brother)
but she is a sooky lala type baby.
i think the way you have described it is fine she is your baby you know her better then anyone which cry is which

[Jewel]

I agree with what you said. Bubbablue likes to be held all the time, so he does his whinge noises alot, which is definately not a cry. He just loves cuddles and snuggling up all the time. When he's going to bed he'll whinge and grizzle sometimes, but it never lasts long and he just settles himself and goes to sleep or chats to himself then sleeps.
If he starts crying we're in there seeing if he wants a dummy, or something and if that doesn't work then it's cuddlessssss!

You're her mum. You know her the best.
You're a fantastic mumma and she's a lucky little princess to have you as her mum.



xx

[Haydies]

i think only a mum can tell her own babies cry/whinge. to someone else it may mean something else, you know your DD the best!

Right on the money.

I don't let Savannah cry either. A grizzle or a whinge, yes. But crying no. I can't really describe her whinges as they are different depending on if she's upset, frustrated or down right ticked off. I also tell a lot more from her face than her sounds, as her eyes tell me immediately what she's feeling.

[BeautifulMadness]

each mum has their own defintion of a cry. she is you're DD, you're doing just fine.

[Footsteps]

leash,
your jazzs mum and know her best...ignore the lectures they don't know jazz aswell as you.
love rach xxxx