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Thread: Convincing the Man

  1. #1

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    Default Convincing the Man

    Hi girls,

    I'm in the need of a little .

    I have been with my DP for 3 years and we had 'THE' discussion a while back about when we'd start trying for our first bubba. He definetly wants to have kids - that's not the problem. He wants to wait until we are financially secure :eek: . In my eyes this ain't ever going to happen (not until we are about 60 maybe). I'm not worried about the finances as such as you always make do on what you have. You just adjust. But trying to convince DP of this is like . I know he thinks about having our kids as he always brings up little things and he melts when he sees a little baby or kid in the shops (very cute I must say!).

    When I bring it up he usually says that he wants to wait until we have paid more off the mortgage and that we can't live off one wage and that he doesn't want to work OT all the time. I am the biggest budget queen. On a bad month we have about $1000 left over. Our mortgage is a whopping $3200 a month!! But to me, the mortgage is still going to be there in 10 years time. No - we can't live off one wage but my plan would be to go straight back to work after the baby. We have two cars that we both love and are doing up at the moment and those are his babies. In september or february next year I will be made redundant from my current job (I'm very happy!) which is another thing against my quest for the baby! I think that his biggest worry of all is not getting his cars done. (About 2 months ago it was only one car being done up but now there is two). I want the cars done as well but I want a bubba now too. I can't really stand it at the moment. I worry that I'm getting old and that I won't work. DPs comment to that is not to worry - that it will happen straight away. I really don't think he quite understands that it's such a slim chance each month and that so many people have problems.
    I really just don't know when he will think that it's a good time. Will it be a good time next year or in 5 years? I'm really at a loss about trying to convince him to just chill a little and not worry so much. To me when you have kids it's not like your life has ended and you can't enjoy yourself and have fun anymore. It's all just the beginning!!

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. DP is very stubborn and he's always right IYKWIM! It seems like all the odds are stacked against me and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.



    Sorry this is soooooooo long.

  2. #2

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    this sure is a tricky situation peachy!

    at the end of the day, males are males! and there is nothing we can do about that.

    i think you just really need to sit him down and try to explain that this is what you really want and what you feel is best to start trying now.

    Explain to him that yes a lot of people do have problems conceiving. I am only 21 and I cant conceive after 24 months of trying and these odds decrease as you get older.

    I hope he changes his mind and I hope you announce you BFP very soon.

    Do you want me to talk to him? hehe

  3. #3
    goldilocks Guest

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    Hi Peachy!

    Sorry to hear you're in a pickle with your DP :hugs:

    Danni is right, you really need to sit DP down and have a good chat. Many people have the misconception that they'll fall pregnant straight away. Have a good look around these forums and you'll see that couldn't be further from the truth for a lot of women! There is a slim chance of falling pregnant each cycle and for many couples it will take longer than a year. In fact, up to a year of trying is considered normal!

    Regarding finances, my DH and I were in the same boat. I was actually the one that was more hesitant about our money situation than he was! LOL In the end I said stuff it, if we wait until we're financially secure we'll NEVER have babies! So I threw away my pills and hey presto, I was pregnant a few months later! LOL And we couldn't be happier. Sure we'll have to cut back on luxuries. But to us, NOTHING is more important than having a family.

    As a wise woman said on BB, babies can be as cheap or as expensive as you like. You'll always find a way to get by. Thousands of couples do every day so why should you be any different. Tell your DP you can make it work!

    I hope to see you in the TTC threads very soon! All the best!

    Love
    Goldilocks
    -xxxooo-

  4. #4

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    Peachy - I totally agree with what Danni and Goldilocks have said, so i won't go into it any more.....i suppose the other thing you could do is just go off the pill (or stop whatever contraception you are using) and tell him that it was an 'accident'. He'll be stoked anyway....hehehe...i'm a naughty girl.....GO TALK TO HIM AGAIN!!!!

  5. #5

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    He's an absolute twit and I hate him.

    Oh, sorry, that's my DH, who is EXACTLY the same. [email protected][email protected] We've been together over five years and married for over one and a half.

    Sorry, just a bit ranty about this: My DH thinks I can't budget because the loan for HIS car eats up so much money. He doesn't understand I get a year of maternity payments, which is at about 70% of my wage. He wants to be more "secure", but he'll be less so if he annoys me again and I leave him because he makes me feel worthless that I'm not good enough to bear his children. I hate him.

    Normally I don't hate him, just your post reminds me of all the bad things about my DH!

    Oh, I'm never going to have children now! I'm already at 80% fertility and falling, DH is on about moving house in 3-4 years before we TTC, I have stupidly long cycles: I bet he's going to wait until I'm dead then meet some stupid young thing who marries him for money and breeds with her. As for stupid cars... if he can afford 2000 on a gearbox and 400 on an exaust and all the rest we can afford a baby! I mean, they cost nothing for the first nine months (I already have a lot of my maternity wear - or at least stuff I can use as maternity wear as my mum still buys me clothes to grow into every Christmas), our parents want to buy baby things, and it's not like they come with a huge food bill at first. I hate my DH and I'm going to die barren and childless. Oooh, I need a "proper" job, because clearly having a good pension, job security, lots of holiday and great antenatal care and a wonderful creche, not to mention part-time availability when I return, isn't the reason I took this job. What's so wrong with me that we can't have children?

    OK, I understand that when we've paid off the car loan and changed the mortgage we'll be better off by about 300 a month - less than what I'll be losing on maternity payments. And it's easier to change the mortgage with no dependants. And we'll need a car with back seats when we have a baby and DH won't sell the car to pay off the loan on it, nor will he stop playing with the car he's building. I understand that my work owes me a lot of backpay that we do need. I understand that we want to finish the repairs to make the house safe, but TBH all we need to do now is finish the bathroom, which won't take 9 months, and re-paper the house - again, just a couple of weeks hard work. That I can help with - I wish I was little and girly and fragile and he didn't even think that I could help with DIY, let alone ask me or expect me to know about different saws or be able to carry heavy things around. Ah well, I guess I can spend all the money that I would have spent on a baby on cosmetic surgery so at least I look OK, even if I am so worthless no-one will ever want a baby with me. Then again, we may need another mortgage if I were to want that. I mean, I'm never going to be called "tiny" by anyone who hasn't just put a tape measure around my waist, nor can we do anything about what my lovely family calls "child-bearing" hips.

    Just put a load of pins in the condoms, Peachy, or forget to tell him you've come off the Pill. I think that's the best way and I should never have reminded DH that he was now in charge of contraception. Believe me, if he really wants children he'll be happy if an "accident" happens - otherwise, he's been lying to you. I'm on day 29 and no sign I'm even nearing ovulation, save sore tingly breasts yesterday; I usually O on day 30-32 so even my body doesn't think I'm good enough for a baby. I just hope I'm not going to stick with the 8-week cycles, 6 weeks is bad enough!

    Trust me, I wanted to TTC since we married and DH knows this and I've been feeling like this ever since. It's not worth it. It really isn't. And I hate the way he'll tell me that he wants children - does he ****. If he did, why isn't he trying to get me pregnant? You either want children, or you don't, or, like my DH, you're a lying whatsit. Golidlocks, with my DH was more like yours - nothing is more important to me than my children, I just wish I had some! Or a DH who made his family a priority, not his stupid car.

    Sorry, no good advice as to how to convince him, but I'm just terrified my TTC date will keep getting pushed further and further back for no good reason and I'll never have children. It's not worth living with this.

    Can people help me too?

  6. #6

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    You poor thing Ryn....i honestly dont know whether to laugh or cry...i know you're being serious but there is so much wit and humour in your words that i seriously don't know what to do......My advice is the same....just go off your contraception and tell him it was an accident......

    I really don't get men sometimes...before DH and i were engaged, he always said that he was never getting married and he was never having kids...this was a bit of a problem at the time, but i never said anything...however, the minute after he proposed he says to me...'your going off the pill...i want babies'...OMG, he knocked me off my chair and i haven't taken the pill or used any contraception since....mind you 4 years later we're still waiting for a bubba, but at least i know he wants them as badly as i do...

    Good luck to you Ryn...

  7. #7

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    Hi there Peachy,
    Sorry to hear of this issue with your DH, not sure how to fix him for you though!
    My DH used to be the same, we have to pay off the loan, then the car, blah blah blah there is always going to be something and if everyone waited till they were financialy secure there would be very few children in the world.
    In the end I just said to DH that this was stupid and that we needed to start LIVING our lives not just going through the motions because you just don't know what's around the corner.
    I think it helped to that a couple of our friends had babies so he found out they were'nt so bad after all.
    It also has a lot to do with them growing up which can take a looooong time.
    I would suggest however not to trick/accidentaly fall pregnant, I think this is a horrible way to start a babies life and can end in resentment.
    I have wanted kids for years but I knew DH wasn't ready and now that he is I feel so much better about having one because it will be thoroughly wanted and I am glad I didn't do anything to trick him. (maybe I'm just a prude)
    Tell DH it can take awhile, we are nearly into our 12 month ttc, just be open and honest with him, tell him how you feel and what you want & see where he truely is at.
    Jo

  8. #8

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    Shan, after last month when I was 2 weeks late and a bit frantic, DH now believes I want to wait so has decided we're going to use the rhythm method... so possibly the fact that I've had no sex for a week as I should be around O-time has made all this a lot worse! In fact, when I told DH I was on my last pill packet so he needed to sort out contraception, he accused me of forcing him to have a baby: WTF? If that were the case I'd not have reminded him! Ruddy men. Anyway, I was only frantic because baby would be exactly one year younger than niece and I couldn't cope with the comparisons. Must be all the hormones or something.

    I've actually had to block one person from Uni I knew from MSN messenger - he keeps asking me if I'm pregnant, despite the fact I've told him that we're not trying right now (and lied and said I was happy with that and I was enjoying the care-free life): everyone knows I used to run children's clubs to get experience and babysat quite a lot: after I got together with DH I had a few chaps (including this one!) who said they wished they were marrying me because I'd be a great mother and they wanted children right away. I just want to murder him! I've seriously thought about reaching through the computer with a knife, if only that would work. Every time he sees me on-line - like he wants to see if he can upset me! Anyway, blocked now.

    Sorry to take over your thread, Peachy! But to re-iterate: Pins and lying about Pill-taking is the way to go - Jo, I completely respect the thought that we shouldn't have to, but quite frankly if men respected us more we'd respect them more and not resort to this. And I hope it gives you a giggle too, we need it sometimes!

  9. #9

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    Peachy,

    Tricky situation.......each to their own, of course, but personally I would sit down adn talk it through. Make lists of pros and cons together, including all the practical, but more importantly, the emotional issues.........& really take the time to properly listen & really hear each others concerns/fears/hopes.

    That is my suggestion anyway.....lying about contraception/pins in condoms etc is not something I could or would ever do personally.......each to their own of course, but talking it over together, for me, would be the best/most honest thing to do, in the hope that you can come to a result that you are both happy and prepared for.........

  10. #10

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    For you both, Peachy and Ryn.

    It's odd, but not very long ago I was in exactly the same position - I wanted children, DH just wouldn't discuss it, and was still saying no.

    Then... I stopped taking the pill. It was completely accidental at first, I'd started another medication on the same day as I stopped taking the hormone pills for a withdrawal bleed. This new medication made me so sleepy at night that I would just fall into bed, and after the week was over I had got so used to falling into bed at night that I just never resumed taking the hormone pills. I remembered three days later, I told DH another three days after that, and then handed him a pack of condoms.

    Then things went strange - DH suddenly started wanting to BD every night - and he wasn't using condoms! Then things got weirder, and eventually we talked and decided now was the right time, we were both ready to have kids, so bring it on. That condom packet is still in the bedroom - only ever used one.

    After that, things just got sad... I come from a family of women who conceive extremely quickly (and in fact get pregnant by accident when they aren't supposed to be able to - and I've got PCOS. We've gone from being excited about TTC to jumping pretty much straight into assisted conception. I stopped the pill in November, in December we started trying, in February I first saw my GP and in March I was diagnosed with PCOS... April saw me start metformin... May is just a month of utter frustration and confusion.

    I know this is long... but from my experience, men make decisions very slowly. They need to come to the decision in their own time, and any actions to try to change their minds need to be done slowly and subtley. I'm still not sure exactly what it was that changed my DH's mind - the number of babies that have been born around us recently, maybe.

    I wish you both lots of luck in your quest to change your respective DH's minds - when confronted with the reality that it doesn't always happen straight away, they can become as sad and obsessed and frustrated as us.

    BW

  11. #11
    goldilocks Guest

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    Aww Ryn, you poor thing :hugs: I really do sympathise with you, hon. I can tell how much you want a baby and I bet it seems really unfair that your DH wants to make you wait so long.

    I guess I take it for granted that my DH was so ready for a baby. He turns 30 in July so maybe that has something to do with it? LOL Neither of us expected it to happen so soon. I had prepared myself for at least 12 months of TTC. DH was slightly more optimistic and said we'd be pregnant by the end of the year. We were both absolutely ecstatic that it happened when it did. And both of us can't wait to meet our son or daughter in January

    Does your DH know how long it can take for couples to conceive? If your cycles are out of whack now, it may take a little while for you to fall pregnant. Or you may need to take something to sort them out before you start TTC. The sooner you sort that out, the quicker you should fall when you're actually TTC.

    What is boils down to is that there will never be a 'perfect' time to have a baby. Most people seem to be more worried about the financial side of having a baby than the emotional side. Is that what your DH is worried out, whether you be able to financially afford a baby? Is he ready to be a father but just holding out until your finances are in order? If that's all it is, I'm sure you can talk him around!

    We've had to make some major lifestyle changes. We were planning on buying a house this year...now we're going to rent from December until we can afford to pay mortgage repayments (we're living with my uncle at the moment and saving every penny possible!) Neither of us are fussed about that as having a family is the most important thing to us. Material possessions are just that...material. They can't love you back like a child does. They can never give you as much pleasure as a baby will.

    I wouldn't advise 'accidentally' falling pregnant though. It will only make your DH bitter and resentful, not to mention that he will never trust you again. That happened to my uncle (the one we're living with). His girlfriend at the time 'accidentally' fell pregnant because he was going to leave her. He begrudgingly stayed, married her and spent 18 miserable years with her. It's no way to live and there's every likelyhood that it will only be detrimental to your relationship.

    I wish I could offer you and Peachy more advice. All I can say is lay all your cards on the table, tell your DH's how much you want a child, explain how you WILL be able to make it work, tell them that there's a chance it won't happen straight away and you'll be TTC for a while anyway! Communication is your best bet and you'll have a better relationship for it.

    I hope to see you both in the TTC threads very very soon

    Love
    Goldilocks
    -xxxooo-

  12. #12

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    Okay.....i just want to make things clear as it seems that i've started something in here.....

    When i posted about just going off contraception and getting pregnant accidentally, i just want to say that i was being SARCASTIC and in fact i could not do that myself either.....

    I have a feeling that you all thought i was being serious.....sorry about that..

  13. #13

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    I must admit, I'd love to lie about contraception and have planned to, but when it gets down to it I find I can't. For some stupid reason I trust DH and respect him - I really do wish it was a 2-way street though. He does know I'm mucus tracking for timing and trusts me on that: I'm also going on dates (cd30 now) so that's why we're abstaining for now - or rather, I'm abstaining, he's in the bathroom quite a while in the evening.

    He says he's wanting children now, just we can't afford them. I've tried for ages to talk him round, so I reckon he's lying about wanting children now. We had a huge barney last night because I was ranting at the TV (local news: an 8 1/2 month pg woman was upset the loos on the trains were out of order: WTF was she doing still working at 8 1/2 months and a stressy 2-hour commute every day? She was a "Miss", living on her own, so no DP to support her, I should be glad she's not living off the state but how does that tart get a baby and I don't?). Anyway, that triggered off a huge row about chlidren, but I think I'm also a bit annoyed at my cycle. DH is useless, just tells me to go to the doctor when I need some sympathy, but the GP will refer me to my boss because he deals with these problems and I don't want him to know - not only because he's my boss, but also because I don't want him to think it's all TTC related when I'm not going to do that yet. It's not stress, because I only realised there was a ovulation problem recently, long after I should have had EWCM, and wasn't at all stressed at first last cycle, just waiting for AF, when she was 4-5 days late I started to fret a bit. Oh yes, and DH tells me that my job is no-stress, because dealing with NHS patients on the phone is easy.

    If I could lie about contraception I think I would do that. I know it's not ideal and it's not nice, but then these men aren't exactly being nice, are they? It is meant to be a joint thing, funny how it's only joint when they brow-beat us into their decisions. And it's really odd how the people whose DHs have agreed to having children and don't now have to go through the stress of no baby ALONE, without DH support as you get when AF arrives and you're both trying, think it's bad to lie about it. Sorry, but when you see how bitter and twisted and hateful I end up because of this, one little lie is more than worth it. My DH knows exactly how I feel and guess what? He tells me off for feeling like this, because he's never called me worthless (in words) and says he does love me and wants me to be happy. He offers no sympathy when I don't know what my body is doing, doesn't ask me what I think is wrong and if I try to tell him then he says I'm being silly and should talk to a doctor. He knows it won't happen right away and can take up to a year - or at least I've told him that - in fact, 18 months for us due to 6-week cycles - or 2 years to have 12 8-week cycles. He also won't talk about what-ifs, so I don't even know what's going to happen IF we can't have children, or it takes quite a while; I only know he doesn't like the thought of assisted conception or adoption and would rather not do that and thinks living childlessly is fine. After all, his old SA 9-10 years ago showed that he's fertile so he knows he doesn't have a problem. Needless to say, I don't really agree, but he's already decided for us again.

    Peachy, I'd show your DH this thread. Just the threat you could end up like me should be enough for him to want to have children now! And believe me, being this dreadful and having mascara running down your face is something to avoid!

  14. #14

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    Awwwww, you poor girlies!

    These are my words of comfort: I don't know if they'll be of any help to you but it is my observation about the Other Sex. At least I hope it makes you laugh!

    A vast number of men (OK, vast generalisation but hey) seem to have the inbuilt "no" chip as a gut response to a slightly emotionally challenging or interior-decoration-related question. My DH has it too. EG: I used to tease him, without even being completely serious, about how nice a little bun would be and he'd get all "not yet", definite, no-sense-of-humour, "I am the lord of the universe" which in reality means "that's a bit scary thus I'm going to get defensive and put on the lord of the universe voice". Situation has now reversed very quickly: all of a sudden he's made his mind up, and I think that's what blokes do: lightening speed change of mind with little warning. Not v fair on girls but then again they maybe think we're all talk, talk, talk.

    The problem is that we girls are sophisticated interpreters of verbal and non-verbal communication with a brilliant and supernatural ability to ANALYSE everything to the Nth degree; however, this relies on men being sophisticated communicators who impart secret messages, whereas in reality I don't think men really are capable of that... we interpret deep, brooding silence as "I do not want a baby" whereas the interior monologue is probably more along the lines of "we're losing the cricket" or "can I get away with farting in here?" or "(hummed theme from Girl from Ipanema)".:eek: We also interpret their "no" as meaning "no forever" whereas "no" in boy language means "not right now while I am watching the cricket" or "I am grumpy and will say no to anything" or they weren't listening and thought you were asking if he thought your bum looked big. First and foremost is that they seem to be unable to think beyond the present when anyone else brings anything up. So they may not be capable of thinking about the concept of the future on anyone else's terms. "No" does not mean forever, and "not now" does not mean "all of now".

    I think if your boys knew how upset it made you, they would be horrified. They are not as sophisticated as we at picking up signals. Plus, your way of showing you are upset may not be the way they can interpret the level to which you are upset. It sounds terrible but I have had to learn to adapt the way I communicate my upsetness about anything, instead of the secondary reaction of anger (which I used to defend myself) to a more honest display of how I was feeling, which was sadness. Anger to a bloke is a big back-off but they seem to be able to understand sadness, if you can verbalise what it is that ,makes you sad: i.e. how what they said makes you feel, and why, calmly, so they don't feel like they're being attacked which they don't respond well to either. (And of course we sometimes feel like attacking!!) All of which you've probably tried before, but it might be worth having a practise the next time it comes up in conversation.

    Can I tell you a great tactic for working through rage and upset and frustration? Write a letter to your boy and get it all out, vent vent, no-holds-barred. Write down some ways you can both sort through the problem. Then after that, acknowledge all the positive things you both have to work with. End with how much you love him because you know you do - why would you have chose to be with him otherwise?? Then you'll probably find you don't need to give it to him (don't do what a friend did and send the letter!!). You might feel a hell of a lot better having vented and acknowledged the whole situation on paper. Advantage: it can stop you from getting too P***ed off when discussing the issue next time as you've had the change to vent. Or if you DO get P***ed off next time, you have a wonderful stash of pre-prepared insults and vicious phrases to hurl seemingly effortlessly at him...

    I think if you can honestly (and calmly - ugh vomit do we have to be??) state why what he says makes you feel upset without telling him he's a turd, he may be more willing to listen and to communicate his feelings.

    Also, think about how his mum might respond to stressful and emotional stituations. How has he been trained from childhood to listen and to switch off?

    Another thing: maybe write a letter to him you DO want to give him, or tell him in person, why you want HIS baby. This is the key: HIS baby, no-one else's. Not some random bloke's ... um ... "boy-stuff". HIS. What is so wonderful about him that you want to share? Perhaps a humourous list of all the wonderful attributes of the two of you and how these will make the perfect baby. (You can leave the car off this!!!!)

    Good luck girls. Sending virtual hugs. Think of it as trying to communicate with a different species!!

    PS: In my view (and it is only my view) piercing the condom is probably not the most ideal resolution of the situation - though it was very funny, Shan!! tee hee hee!!

  15. #15

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    Beautifully said, Queenie.

    Thank you for being able to put so eloquently in words all the things I feel... you are so right about how men think and communicate.

    BW

  16. #16
    Kirsty77 Guest

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    I think most men panic about able to support their family when the time for kids comes along. Corey went through the stage of holding off on having kids cause he wanted us ot be more financially secure. Personally I think no time is perfect to have kids. We had lots of D& M's over it and finally we decided if we waited to much longer we might miss our window and lucky we started ttc when we did as I ended up having fertility porblems and concieving Gemma took a little longer than we anticipated.

    Keep talking things through with him and make sure you make it clear that your on his side. Goodluck and hopefully you guys can work this out soon.

  17. #17

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    WEll said Queenie, however i'd just like to point out, not only to you but to everyone else who has said it was me, that it wasn't my comment about *****ing holes in condoms....If you read back you will see this....just clearing that up coz that's something i wouldn't ever have thought of......

    I don't want to sound harsh, but i just wanted it cleared up...thanks..

  18. #18

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    I have to say girls that I have had great enjoyment reading all the posts!!
    What you all say is so true...I have to say that men are definitely a different species . It's all in the way that you say things. My DP is wonderful and would do anything for me but he's just far too stubborn sometimes. I do find that I have to mention little things to him and he might shoot me down at the start (just as you said Queenie!) but I know that I can always get him to come around eventually. He (and all the other men) need to take in the new piece of information and actually process it. After a few times of bringing up the same thing they get accustomed to hearing about it so then it's not so scary anymore. Even last night I was sitting on the lounge and I said to DP 'Darlin - I've been thinking...(yes...) well you know how I'd like to take you overseas (yes...) well, I thought that when we do we could elope! (Please note that he is one of these people that say - why do I need to go overseas and spend all that money when I can see it on the internet? ) I told him that it will be heaps cheaper and that it is a day for us and not for everyone else. He then asks me - when? I said not right this second but when I get redundant. The first thing he said is - after you have found a new job! The thing is, is that when you start a new job you can't just take holidays. He's such a worry wart. I don't think that he believes me when I tell him that I'll find a job straight away. If worse comes to worst, I temp. No dramas! He's just so worried about me not having a job.

    I think my biggest issue is not so much about starting TTC right this second but I said 6 months ago that I would like to come off BCP. Of course he said NO! I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and if I were to fall straight away then that is the way that its supposed to be. If it doesn't happen straight away, it doesn't. But because he thinks that it will happen as soon as we DTD, he gets scared. It's because my stupid mum :mad: told him that I was an accident and that she would fall PG when someone just looks at her!! Good on you mum! So he naturally thinks the same for me.

    I'm a bit of a rev head so I want our cars done up, looking spiffy and ready to go like four million miles an hour (you guys would probably not understand this but that is ok). But I kind of think - when will he say its ok to come off the dreaded BCP. I thought that I would bring it up again after the first car was done but as I've said now there is 2. One of which he wants to take to the track..yes I know $$$$$$$$. After they are done up - will there be another project? I think I might have to tell him that I'm going to go off the BCP when it runs out and that's the way it will be. AND then I'll tell him that MY redundancy (hahaha) is our baby fund..no touching it for the cars...I won't be getting a huge payout but it's at least almost 1 years pay. The other thing that worries him is the daycare situation - only because it's so expensive. But i'm sure that we can work around it because everyone else manages.

    Ryn - I think that we should stick together. I don't think I'm 'quite' as angry and frustrated as what you seem to be but I do have my moments. Trust me. I think that we all do!! I have been bad and have been a little slack taking the BCP ( like not taking it religiously at the same time, etc). Because I don't care. If a bubba came into our lives we'd both be soooo happy. I've also read it somewhere in BB before that we spend all our younger years trying not to get PG (I was petrified that that would be the worst & that it would ruin my life forever), and then all of a sudden you try to get PG and find that it takes so long. So what is the point of worrying at all!!

    (I think that I write too much )

    MWAH!

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