Not sure if it will help you but during my last pg and ttc this one I had constant alternating uti and thrush. I found swapping my undies from g-strings to granny undies and avoiding pantyhose and tight jeans also helped prevent it. Also cutting down on refined sugars and carbs helped to balance my system. Are you drinking lots and lots of water too? Ural helps to balance your urinary PH and flush out the bacteria so make sure you drink a big glass of water after you have your ural to help it work.

Pain relief I found a wheat pack helped and DH rubbing the small of my back at the same time.

DTD we were similar and had to become clean freaks so made a shower as part of our foreplay, but I was told not to wash your vagina with soap as it really affects the acid mantle balance and makes it easier for bacteria to spread. Finally, sorry if this is a bit personal, if you like to play different positions etc be really cautious of too much friction and use a personal lube.