Yep, so common - I had a thread about this a little while back.

I never tell DH when I am O'ing because of the performance anxiety thing. We have NEVER concieved consciously - both times were when we weren't thinking about it.

Don't forget about a little romance - candles, chocolate & lingerie, dim lighting IYKWIM (Late at night, of course, when the kids are in bed - my DH is a night person!)

I asked DH about what I could do to make it more interesting for him at that time of the month (without telling him it was that time of the month of course). His response was that he'd really appreciate it if I wore undies and bras that matched. He said that he was over the sensible skin tone and didn't find it romantic. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, I thought he would have told me sooner. I am really a practical sensible non-nonsense kinda gal and well, skin tone goes with everything after all!

Okay, if this month is not the month - then I am off shopping for some matching frilly bras and undies. I also told him he can go shopping too!!!

Seriously, have a chat to him about it and ask him what he wants for a bit of spice. Keep the right timing thing to yourself and take it from there.

I understand the frustration totally.