First time moms to be.

**purple_grape** · March 29th, 2014, 01:45 PM

Hello all. I'm fairly new to the site and having been getting a lot of good information from the ladies and different articles on the site.

I was wondering if there are any others on the site who, like me, are ttc their first child? This is a nerve racking, life changing time for me and I am hoping there are some other moms to be who I can share my experience with.

A little about me: I'm 29 years old and been married for 6yrs. Hubby and I have had discussions about kids a couple of times over the years (like every year), but he always felt things were too unstable and that we weren't ready. I agreed to wait to let him get more comfortable with the realities of life and how things are never how you plan them.

I always assumed that an 'accident' would happen and the decision would be made (especially since we've been using the pull out method and O DTD avoidance (maybe called rhythm) for 1.5 years), but now approaching 30 I'm tired of waiting.

My situation may be a little different from most as I am the primary bread winner, I think this has caused hubby some additional stress. I'm just so meant to be a mom I can't deny this side of me any more.

Anyways TTC month 2. Please tell me your story.

**Marley&Me** · March 29th, 2014, 03:17 PM

Hi purple grape and welcome

There is a section of the forum that is all about conception and there is also a sub forum in there 'TTC buddies' (I don't know how to post a link!

) Have a look and feel free to join one of the groups! And good luck!

**purple_grape** · April 2nd, 2014, 01:18 AM

Thanks Tasha while I am party of the group TTC I feel like there are certain aspects of being a first time mom that are not addressed by the BB groups. I love the community that the BB groups foster, but it is more than just teaching my pregnancy it is a whole life change that I would like to discuss.

**purple_grape** · April 2nd, 2014, 01:19 AM

Thanks Tasha while I am part of the group TTC I feel like there are certain aspects of being a first time mom that are not addressed by the BB groups. I love the community that the BB groups foster, but it is more than just tracking my pregnancy it is a whole life change that I would like to discuss.

**emmalee86** · April 2nd, 2014, 06:01 AM

Hi purple grape, I'm a FTM, due end of May! Although I'm not in the TTC category I'd love to have a chat!

**Spoons** · April 6th, 2014, 10:11 AM

Hi purple_grape, as you know I'm a first timer, too. I agree that being a first timer at this has a whole different set of anxieties (not more legitimate, just different). I often worry that I won't be a very good parent or that I won't enjoy it or I'll have other people tell me I'm doing it wrong. If you want to PM me to talk, feel free to do so

My DH and I have been together a long time. Living together for 5 1/2 years and married for 1 1/2. We stopped preventing in August. My best mate had just had her second bub. She's such a cutie and I was so happy for her but also a little sad for myself. I had a bit of a cry and I think because we'd reached a time in our lives where we were more comfortable in our jobs and our finances etc, DH agreed that we should give it a go. We've been timing (kind of) since November. I'm 30, he's 32.

I think maybe "accidents" (or "surprises" as I like to call them) aren't really as common as we're lead to believe. Though I could be wrong, I haven't actually looked up any statistics to back up my theory lol.

I'm doing okay. I just try to enjoy the good things DH and I have going on in our life and try not to think about it too much.

emmalee86, you must be so excited!!

**Ca Plane Pour Moi** · April 6th, 2014, 04:28 PM

I'll have other people tell me I'm doing it wrong

I know this is for first timers, but don't worry. You will have that. Don't worry about it. I had my mother telling me I'd murder Liebling with my parenting methods. He's still alive and psychologically sound, so please don't fret about the opinions of others. You will always be wrong in someone's eyes.

The plus of being a parent is that your child hasn't experienced any other parenting, so can't complain. And if they think you're an OK parent (pre-teen, they won't admit that as a teen!) then who cares what anyone else thinks of your parenting?

**jlanae** · April 15th, 2014, 07:17 AM

I am in the same boat! Hubby and I have been married for 2 years but have lived together for 9. I'm 29 and he's 32, so we are both anxious about the whole prospect of a little one.

**Joski** · April 15th, 2014, 08:02 AM

Joining in here ladies, I will be 31 in a few months and DH is 31 too. We've been together 10 years and married for 2.

We stopped preventing 18 months ago but still no luck - I'm currently hanging out in the LTTC thread.

Setting aside fertility issues, I too worry about the prospect of being a parent. I look at my parents' parenting style and know that is something I definitely don't want to emulate but I'm scared about finding my own methods and about how DH and I will work as a unit. In fact sometimes I get tons of anxiety about it and think, what's the point of TTC?

Other times I see my friends and their kids and think maybe I could do this after all.

**forshelby** · April 15th, 2014, 09:30 AM

I was a first timer once

All of those fears are valid. I felt the same. There's always someone to contradict you or disapprove of your choices. I learned quickly to smile and nod, then do what felt right to ME.

Best advice? surrender to the unknown. trust your instincts. if it feels right, do it. forget about what baby "should" be doing or what Mrs so and so's baby can do compared to yours. read your baby's cues, not books.

First time parenting is like sitting for an exam you can't study for.

nerve wracking. It's a steep learning curve, and it's difficult when suddenly you have to put your needs aside. You'll find a strength and stamina you never knew you had. You'll feel fear and anxiety like you've never known. You'll know love more powerful than ever before. You'll throw yourself in front of the expensive armchair and take toddler-vomit like a bullet..... lol.

Motherhood will transform you, grow you, and challenge you in every aspect of your life.

I LOVE it, and am driven crazy by it simultaneously. Conflicting emotions will become normal, mundane even. You'll never look at your partner the same way after he's held your hand during labour.

it's a roller coaster. enjoy the ride!