How do I tell a friend who has been TTC??

[tellytubby]

A very close friend of mine, has been TTC for roughly 8/9 months now.

Her and I both have two beautiful babies already.

She knows that I haven't been TTC.

Well, I've got a surprise pregnancy, baking away.

I don't know how to tell her?? I don't want to break her heart

Last time I talked she said her sister was pregnant, and although she is happy for her, it "still stings a little to know she only had to try for a couple of months, and here I am 8 months later and nothing".

In a pickle.. Not sure what to do, and how to do it.

Any advice??

[briggsy's girl]

TELL HER!!
be respectful and understanding of how she is feeling, but TELL HER!

think of it as saving her the heartache of finding out later on by accident and thinking you didn't respect her enough to tell her...

yeah, she might hurt a bit, but if you tell her respectfully and be understanding of that pain, it's better than a bombshell when someone slips up cos everyone else knows kwim?

[blessedatlast]

Yes I agree, tell her. She will be hurt possibly, but it will also make her feel better that you are mindful of the way she may be feeling. It's not like you're just calling her up announcing without a thought to how this will affect her.

[tellytubby]

Don't get me wrong, I will totally be telling her.

But how?? Do I text her, so she can process it, and then call her later on in the day??

Another question. I only told her with my last pregnancy's that I was UTD at the 12 week mark, and then the 16 week mark. Yes I'm normally very private and don't let the secret out during the early days. She has always told me around the 6 week mark I guess. Do you think i should tell her early this time?? I'm 7w5d now.....

???

[blessedatlast]

No don't text her.. Tell her face to face.. As far as when to tell her, don't worry too much but tell her 1st (or after family) so as BG said she wont find out through someone else because intentional or not she may feel left out and like you didn't want to tell her.

[HotI]

good questions TT

[tellytubby]

Thanks blessed.

She lives 4 hours away, but I have a feeling she may be in town within a week or so... Maybe I should tell her then.

I'm so torn, I really wish she was preggers, and we could do it together again

Argh is all so hard. She is also a bit of a gossip, and I worry if I tell her everyone will know! haha

Thanks for taking the time to reply xo

[blessedatlast]

Lol.. If she's a gossip don't tell her yet. If she lives too far and you don't see her often then tell her over the phone. As long as she is hearing it from you and not finding it out from someone else, it's ok. Good luck Waiting til 12wks and 16wks! Wow, There is no way i could wait that long! I waited a week to tell my Mum and that nearly killed me lol!

[tellytubby]

Haha, I know I'm a weirdo! I just worry so much about miscarriage, I'd rather not have to tell people I had miscarriage if it isn't necessary, iykwim.
Bit more relaxed this time, have told both the grandma's, but that will be it until the 12 week mark.

Who knows, maybe she'll have some news for me when I get the the 12 week mark

[~Stoked~]

Telly, I wouldn't tell her any earlier than you are planning on telling everyone else, whether it's 12 weeks or 16 weeks or whenever. You have your reasons for not telling everyone sooner and I'm sure your friend will understand why you held off telling people. Maybe once you've decided you're ready to announce let her know first, so she doesn't hear it from anywhere else.
xxxx

[tellytubby]

Thanks Stoked

I will let her be one of the first to know But yes, will wait for the 12 week mark. Need to make sure this baby is going to stick first.