I have officially come off the pill to TTC #2 and got AF today ....
I am quite scared as to be honest the first year and a half of Lukes life was not exactly a picnic.
Had a shocking long birth followed by a return to hospital 2 days after coming home. Luke and myself had both got a staff infection... was horrible we were seperated and isolated as they did not know what was wrong with me at first.
I think due to the high volume of antibiotics we both recieved and the rough start he was very very unsettled and did not sleep for longer than 40mins at a time for over a year... its makes me tear up just thinking about it still. We were in and out of hospital and he was always sick with toncilitus ...
Im really wanting to add to our family as I feel that my DH and I have more than enough love to give 1 child but at the same time im soooooo scared. Does this make sense ?
Anyway thought I would introduce myself and see if I could meet some people in the same boat as me !
Hi Jane!
I understand your trepidation. I had a long and rough labour with DD (8 yrs ago!), and a difficult start with no family support, and ended up with what was recognised in hindsight as post traumatic stress disorder. I didn't cope at all well for over a year. My fear of having a similar experience kept us from trying for another child for 8 years (!extreme, I know).
The way I see it now is that each child and each time in our lives is quite different, and we came through it and probably learnt a few things that will give us a head start this next time. It doesn't really make it any less scary, but some of the best things in life are achieved once you look fear in the face and do it anyway.
I wish you every blessing on your TTC journey and look forwards to seeing you 'round the boards!
:-)
Wow, how stressful for you first time round! Sounds like you've come through it nicely now though, & I bet your more than prepared for #2 now.
We're taking the 'Go with the flow' aproach for ttc our #2. (Though, it changes month to month!) I think most people get a little (or a lot) scared about ttc #2, even if they've had an 'easy' time of #1.
Jane - just wanted to wish you all the best as you take this big - but wonderful and exciting step - to extend your family. I hope to be chatting with you in the preg threads really soon
Thanks everyone !!!
Marydean.... hmmm i have actually wondered if i have a similar condition (post stress ) did you seek help for it ? I certainly hope you have a smooth road ahead of you in your journey and look forward to being able to support you through it ! Its great to be surrounded by such caring people... I too have no family support here in Adelaide and my friends are just now starting to have children which is fabulous. I wish I had found this site last time around.
J
x
Last edited by Jane73; September 20th, 2006 at 07:11 AM.
Hi Jane, I just checked back on this thread again and I really want to answer your questions. No I didn't get help for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) at the time. Although I kinda knew I wasn't coping, I knew about PND and I knew I wasn't depressed as such. However I wasn't coping with the requirements of daily living. However, I have a wonderful friend who's a bit of a medicine man who helped me to go back and look at the traumatic stuff that I had blanked out and accept it and let it go. And that's where the healing started for me, but I was also quite physically damaged and it wasn't until I did the emotional stuff that my body was able to heal too. It was only several years later when I went back to the doctor (to talk about if it's possible to have a caesarean for future babies) and she said, 'hmmm sounds to me like you had a pretty clear case of PTSD' and I read up on it.
Jane, I was lucky to have the friend who helped me, but if I didn't I think I would have needed to go through some counselling to in order to cope with it. If you suspect any part of your TTC/parenting journey might be overwhelming you emotionally then it might be worth having a chat to your doctor or getting some counselling yourself. There are some very good services in Adelaide.
I think I'll be better prepared this time round, I can understand what went wrong and I will require my health carers to know and understand this too so they can take better care of me.
Jane & Marydean - I hope this doesn't sound corny or 'der' (if that makes sense) but I just read your posts about how difficult an experience you both had with bubs#1 and I felt so excited for both of you to see that you realise how fabulous a mummy you both are that it'd be wrong if another little human didn't get to experience your precious mummy-ness!
Yay for you both and a precious journey to bubs#2 and sweetness and peace from here!!
(again, apologies for the 'corn' factor but I mean it!!)
Charlyfrog - thanks so much for your kind words and sticky wishes!
Facing up to my guilt at not coping was one of the really big steps I had to take in order to decide to TTC#2 - And you're quite right it is an affirmation to decide to try again. I believe this next precious little person chose us as his parents a lot time ago (I can feel that little spirit buzzing around me every so often - patiently waiting until I get my act together....)!
Thanks Charlyfrog, and blessings to you on your TTC journey too!
Thanks so much for that information... good to know and yes I think maybe i need to debrief with someone not connected...
Good luck TTC # 2
There are a few of us on here at the moment , its great to have other people to chat to about it.
*Charlyfrog* I just saw your reply on here.. thanks for that ((hug)) looking forward to hopefully being Belly Buddies with you both =)
Jane
xx
Its on !
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a precious journey to bubs#2 and sweetness and peace from here!!
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