I think that it is important to remember the reasons behind clinics NOT wanting to transfer two embryos are very valid, and are based on mother and child safety.

Unscrupulous clinics in the US often transfer multiple embryos because it makes their pregnancy stats look good.

Women like us are vulnerable. We want a child desperately and we are prepared to take 'risks' to make that happen (ie the risk of twins). Clinics do need to be the 'voice of reason' when it hard for US to be reasonable due to our baby-desire.

I was 39 and I had two fresh embryos transferred twice. I got lucky in that I only conceived one baby. B/C of my age I ran the risk (and my FS supported me) of the small risk of twins. I look back now and wonder whether I was right to do that.

When we try with our frozen embryos, one will be going back in at a time (unless there is an error at the clinic and they thaw two...no way could I leave one to succumb).

I have empathy for your feelings, especially for what you feel is a lack of communication, but try and remember that they DO want you to have a baby, but that they want you and the baby to be healthy!