Now have to wait another month!!!

[malimum]

howdy,

Well i plucked up the courage to go to my new dr's 2nite. I was at the point where i felt like i had to stop putting things off and deal with it. Some of u, in some of the threads i have had i thought were pg symptoms very sore bb's, some nausea and tired at times. Not to mention the leakage in my right bb(which i still have and they are still sore at times). And i told him about my 2 af cycles that were shorter than normal.

Any way i told this to him and he checked my bb's for lumps or abnormalities(sorry TMI) but thank goodness everything was ok so thats a + at least. He then suggested doing a pg, so i spent the next few moments very nervous and im sure it showed. But much to my disappointment it was BFN . Im so over the concieving thing atm , i just wanna give up trying, i hate the thought of BFN's all the time and being disheartned, i feel its takin its toll on me emotionally.

I still feel pg at times.......but when he did the urine sample for the pg test it was a definite -ve(i wish the sore bb's would stop hurting, and only hurt coz im pg). Im sick of my body playing awful tricks on me(damn confusing) I have to pull myself together and think +ve but its hard when you have had so many disappointments, it becomes really hard to get excited about the thought of getting pg let alone go full term. I at times feel inadequate and a failure(sorry...so negative).

Well at least the doctor didnt just talk mumbo jumbo, send me on my way with scripts and i walk away no closer to knowing what the problem is. He was kind and listened to everything i had to say.

I sure hope the gyn can help with finding out why i cant concieve and give me the long awaited answers i need to know.

Ne way once again sorry for going on and on, but it does help to get it off my chest.

Heres hoping for a real sooooooooon and these damn symptoms i have at the moment go away and come back when its the real deal(pg i mean....lol!!)

Im gonna pray for me and for ne1 else thats on the ttc bandwagon......gone spread heaps of and to all the pg ladies atm hope u are all having safe and enjoyable pg's.

cheers
Malimum

[malimum]

Well i know i had a bfn 2nite at the dr's.But am still havin a hard time excepting it. I had a af on 9th Oct, and pretty much stopped on the friday. But it wasnt a full on af had times where it stopped. Then on the 14th and 15th and 16th of October had some clear CM and once it was a greeny colour. I know the dr said it was a but i still cant help but wonder. What should ur CM b like after af. Atm im having 31 to 32 day cycles. Im not sure when i will ovulate. When is the best time to check your CM for the watery clear but sticky around ovulation.(Sorry.....a bit confused atm)

Hope some1 can make sense of what im trying to explain.

Any help would be appreciated........thanks.

Cheers
Malimum

[malimum]

Sorta feelin alone atm..... I know it seems i have raved on but just feeling like i have no support.

My close friend come over last nite, she had her little boy 5 and bit weeks ago....dont get me wrong im happy for her....but when she starts talkin about him i feel a little sad and withdrawn. I had a good cry last nite, just wish things would go right.

Ne way seems this ttc journey is affecting me more than i realise.

Hope every preggy lady is doing good and having a H&H pg.

bye
Malimum

[{sarah}]

Just moving to General Conception Discussion

[Loveinamist]

Malimum do you get regular cycles? It is just that experience sounds a lot like mine many times! I have spent months and months with pregnancy symptoms and it always just turned out to be my PCOS playing tricks on me. Did the doctor suggest it could be PCOS? (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome)

[Sammi Jane]

Hi Malimum,

Just wanted to say hi and let you know you're not alone. I don't have the same problems as yours, but I have one in common - we're both not pregnant and want to be!

It sux doesn't it?? Your messages really touched a cord in me, I often feel very depressed and down about the whole ttc thing. I feel like it is ruining my life, turning me into a different person. I too feel like a failure. I find it very difficult to talk about because of that. It is extremely difficult to stay positive when month after month you get BFN's...

How long have you been trying? We're on cycle 13 at the moment, and I'm desperate for it to be the one - the month where I finally get my BFP!!!

I hope you get your BFP soon!

[Willow]

I just wanted to say good luck girls! You are definately not alone, there are a lot of us out there that feel the same way.

Here's hoping we all get our much anticipated BFP this month!!

[malimum]

Ty for all ur kind words

FISHUKIE - I am going to a gyn on the 21st Nov (which seems like a eternity away) So im sure he is going to check things.... he finds the answers.

SAMRUS - I dont feel i have changed ,but sometimes i feel the ttc journey consumes me. I keep missing the ttc bandwagon, i some how get left behind.

WILLOW - Ty for the kind words, i get so frustrated, that i get angry with myself, but i try to stay positive.

I hope these sore bb's go away , and only come back coz im pg. Its so damn confusing, all these emotions are doing my head in.

Lets hope we all get soon. Spraying........i mean flooding the ttc forum with loads and loads of

Just a quick ?, me and my DP did the dd this morning, and a few hours l8r when i went 2 the loo and wiped sorry if TMI, i noticed lots of clear sticky CM. Some1 plz help one confused person.

Bye
Malimum

[malimum]

Samrus,

My af cylces are pretty regular around 31 - 32 days. Who knows sick of the confusion, i to are praying that we get BFP's very soon. Me and DP have been trying propery since may 06 when i had last m/c, so for around 5 months, not 2 interested in charting i think that would make me sad if i did all that and i didnt concieve, i am interested in the CM but i finished my af on the 13th and its now the 18th and i noticed clear sticky CM about an hr ago but none since.

Bye
Malimum

[Loveinamist]

Samrus,

My af cylces are pretty regular around 31 - 32 days. Who knows sick of the confusion, i to are praying that we get BFP's very soon. Me and DP have been trying propery since may 06 when i had last m/c, so for around 5 months, not 2 interested in charting i think that would make me sad if i did all that and i didnt concieve, i am interested in the CM but i finished my af on the 13th and its now the 18th and i noticed clear sticky CM about an hr ago but none since.

Bye
Malimum

Are you sure it isn't semen?

[Sammi Jane]

Malimum, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your wish comes true soon! Try to keep your chin up and never lose hope. It will happen!!!

[mako]

Hi Malimum,
I'm so pleased you went to the drs to get checked out. I am also sending you a big hug . I understand how frustrating this ttc thing is, but you have to remember that you are not alone and we are here for you. I hope we both see a BFP this time around. When do you go to gyno? I am also sending lots of sticky to you and everyone else ttc. Take care of yourself.

[ollie75blue]

Hi malimum,
How is everything going? Are you still feeling sore? Hope everything turns out. Be good to you.

[malimum]

Ollie - Ty for ur kind words Yeah a little on and off, but has i have a gyno appt on the 21st Nov im not gonna read into to much and i just feel like i should take a step back and relax and c what the gyno comes up with.....its gettin me down with the wat if's and all these ?'s i have are takin its toll, i dont wanna b analyzing everything so much coz its makin me think all the time. So im just gonna chill!!!!!

I ur levels keep rising and that things work out for u. U r in my thoughts, take care and i hope u keep us all posted.

Bye
Malimum

[Loveinamist]

That is a long time to wait until the 21st November! Best thing you can do is chill. Just remember whatever scenarios you imagine are never going to be exactly what happens good or bad. It is that thought which gets me through times when I anticipate the worst or overanalyse stuff. So good luck and relax!

[malimum]

I agree fishukie, ty for ur kind words. That was the earliest they could get me in. The more i worry, the stressed i will b. I was @ TAFE 2day, and my hormones r just all over the place and i burst in2, the girls there r really nice and they helped me thru it which was really nice. I cried all because i had to answer a ?..........sad eh'. Just want some piece of mind and answers.........how does the saying go...good things come to those who wait....well im sticking with that philosophy...helps me get by.

Im praying for a real soooooooon......will b a much loved lil bubs.

How r u going atm? Hope all is well!!!! Take care.

Bringing in another truckload of for all to collect. Be kind 2 urselves

Malimum

[Loveinamist]

They do say this TTC is a massive emotional rollercoaster so buckle up and enjoy the ride!! I am hanging out now for December 27th. That is the date that I will have had my medical insurance for three months and then we can really start ttc. That is naturally. I have to wait until September 27th 2007 to start IVF!! I can do another IUI before then but I am planning to do that about May or June because then that will break up this year wait!! I hate wishing my life away and know I should be enjoying all the moments that DH and I have together but I am so ready it is unbelievable. Well almost only 2 months till we can start trying again!
Take care

[BekZ]

All the best Malimum in your journey. I have heaps of preg symptoms and I found out that I am lacking in progesterone, so I am taking natural progesterone cream to hel reg my hormes. When you see gyno maybe suggest getting your hormone levels checked.

All the best