Pre-conception care - getting DF on board

[LionsandBears]

Hi all - I'm new to this forum.

My DF & I are getting married April 09 and we would like to start TTC straight away after that. I want to make sure we are as healthy as can be - both to improve our chances of conceiving, but also to produce as healthy a baby as possible. When I talked about this with DF last year, he said he didn't really believe in "taking stuff". I had bought some zinc for him whilst at the naturopath. I really believe in doing what we can to maximise our chances for a healthy baby - but don't know how to bring this up again.

I've flicked through "Fertile Fathers" in a bookshop, but don't know if it's right to give that to him yet as we don't know if he's fertile or not.

Any ideas? Anything else I could give him to read that isn't patronising towards men?

TIA

[Muppity]

Hi Tash

Firstly, welcome to BB, hope that you like it here and that you get loads of info and makes heaps of friends on your TTC journey.

I think that if he has closed down a discussion once before then now may not be the right time to raise it again. Boys are often a bit funny about their "capability" (I know mine is - and that was even before we knew he had some issues).

The health of a baby has a lot more to do with the health of the mother than it does the father. Think of it this way. He has millions of little swimmers and they go on the adventure of a lifetime and it is only the ones that are strong enough to win the medal that have any chance of getting to the finishing line. You on the other hand produce one big pat slow egg each month so there is in many ways a lot more invested in your than in his IYKWIM.

Having said this though there are a few lifestyle factors that you need to consider. If he smokes he should stop and if he drinks too much that is really bad too. Taking a zinc supplement or other things like that is only really going to help if he is borderline to begin with. There is a whole list of things like wearing boxers, not taking hot baths, not using electric blankets etc.

Maybe find a website with a list of things to do to improve production and ask him if there are any that he would like to do. That way it is his choice rather than having decisions dictated to him.

HTH

[Cassius2]

Hi Tash,

Welcome to BB! hopefully we will be able to share your TTC and pregnancy and baby journey on here!

I have to agree with what was said above, only to add that the best thing at this stage is to get your body on track. i know that blackmores have a 'conceive well' multivitamin that you can take in preparation. i took some homeopathy stuff (i had some issues with endo) and it was fantastic.

anyway, good luck with it all! (and the wedding!!)

[LionsandBears]

Thank you both for the input - appreciate getting someone else's perspective. I like the idea of asking him what he'd like to choose to do, rather than dictating or nagging. I know I hate it when people try dictating to me.

I do think he needs to take part responsibility for parenting from pre-conception onwards, so in a few months we might have another chat about what we're each doing. I need to work harder on my health too.

Thanks again