Thank you both for the input - appreciate getting someone else's perspective. I like the idea of asking him what he'd like to choose to do, rather than dictating or nagging. I know I hate it when people try dictating to me.

I do think he needs to take part responsibility for parenting from pre-conception onwards, so in a few months we might have another chat about what we're each doing. I need to work harder on my health too.

Thanks again