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Thread: Really ready?

  1. #1
    purpley Guest

    Red face Really ready?

    Hi everyone

    I just wondered if or how you knew that you were really ready to have a baby?

    Are you ever ready?

    I sometimes wonder since I have some of my own issues/demons to work out whether I am ready, but then I look around and see my life etc and think it is the right time, it can get so confusing

    If anyone is willing to share their feelings with me on this I would really appreciate it.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    in a land of screaming kids.
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    I think everyone has some doubts about having a baby. But I know with me, it's all I thought of when DH and I got together. I knew he'd be a great dad and I'd be a good mum. We wanted a family together very much. The longing for the pitter patter (or in most toddlers case the TUMP THUMP THUMP) of little feet far outweighed the doubts MOST of the time. There will always be problems in ones lives. There will always be something else the money could go towards (we all know raising kids costs a fortune). For me, there was nothing I would rather spend my money on and my life raising, nuturing and loving than a family.... But that's just me (my 2 y.o is standing on the bench opposite atm, playing with the macca's music maker yelling out "Dansin" and bopping around! SOOO Cute!)....

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Hey Purpley,
    I understand how you feel. I looked up all sorts of stats, followed checklists to ensure I was doing everything right (eg getting private health insurance, multivitamins, saving, etc), read lots of internet articles on other women and when they felt it was right.

    At the end of the day, what I was really looking for was a sign that said "go for it". I realised that I wasn't going to find that on the internet or asking other people as all my friends and family were hassling me to have a baby anyway.

    At the end of the day, we decided to wait one year and then try. In that year I had plenty of time to think about it and so did DH, so now that we are TTC, we are both really keen and looking forward to our BFP. It is great to have DH so clucky and he is very interested and protective about the whole process.

    I guess there is no "right time" and for some women we don't just wake up and think that we are ready. Sometimes its a case of "now or next year" but next year you are only going to be a year older... so may as well be now.

    If you 'kinda' feel ready, then maybe that's enough?

    Good luck,

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    Hi Purpley

    Good question..... My DH and I have been together for 12 years (since we were 17) and have now been married for 3 years in April. When we started going out we knew there were certain things we wanted to do and achieve before we had babies e.g. buy a house and investment property, get married, travel overseas at least once and start our own business so I didnt have to work once we had kids.

    We have now achieved everything on our list. While we love our current lifestyle (sleeping in, eating in front of the tele, taking a day off work just to spend the day together, going out spontaneously etc) we feel, for the first time in our lives, that there is something missing and that something is a family ..... we cant wait. I cant explain it but it is just a feeling that we both have.

    I'll be interested to see what other people have to say about this subject ......
    Last edited by Deltadawn; January 12th, 2007 at 07:57 AM.

  5. #5
    Cherryrose Guest

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    I had decided early in life that I wasnt bothered about having kids. I had no interest in other peoples kids and I avoided holding anyones baby as I just thought 'whats the attraction'? When I was 25 I accidentally got pregnant. I wasnt married and the boyfriend was a total twit, but I decided to keep the baby and raise her myself. At the time the main reason was because I didnt think I could go through with an abortion.
    When my baby was born I looked at her and felt nothing, until 24 hours later when it hit me like a rocket. I have never felt so much love. And although for me it wasnt the right time, the ideal time, the affordable time etc, I dont regret it for a second. And so when it came to having my others, my DH and I always knew it was the right time, that we were ready, because the love you feel cancels out any doubts.
    Although you might enjoy your current lifestyle, the new lifestyle you have with a baby is just as great (although not easy at times!!). If you are thinking about having a baby, you are ready :-)

  6. #6

    Default

    I have doubts all the time... When we fell pg we were soooo excited and then when we lost angel my world was tipped upside down i started to question everything i did during ttc and the pg.. Did i do something wrong? am i not really ready to be pg? Hold in there Purpley and im sure you are ready to fall pg... Good luck..

  7. #7
    purpley Guest

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    thank you all of you for your honest replies and thoughts!

    It is a hard one, and I think I am looking for the elusive "go for it" sign... is it normal to have doubts that you might not be emotionally ready?

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Regional Victoria
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    Hi Purpley,
    All I have ever really wanted was to have a family, work is something I do to have the money to enjoy life until I have a family.
    But now that I am here and have made the decision to try to conceive, I wonder constantly how am I going to handle raising little people? I forever doubt I have the patience/tolerance/understanding/knowledge/skills to raise children.
    So my answer is yes, I think doubts are the most normal thing to experience in this part of the journey.
    You've just gotta trust that you've made the right decision for you and go for it...

    S'rose.

  9. #9
    purpley Guest

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    Have faith and take the leap eh! breathe in breathe out! lol.

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