Should we or shouldnt we?

**boomba** · January 30th, 2009, 05:45 PM

Ok so here is my delima. Dh doesnt have any strong opinions when it comes to ttc #2. I on the other hand am torn.
I would love to have another baby this year, but would also like to get my body into shape. I want our children to be fairly close in age and as we want 3 I figure we should get at it

The other thing that is making me say no is I am worried I wont be able to cope with 2. Dh works long hours and I didnt have alot of support when ds was born.

Maybe we should just stop using protection and see what happens? I cannot beilieve this decsion is so hard to make! My body is ready I think, my heart is definately ready but my brain is undecided.
Sorry if this doesnt make sense I am trying to work it our too

x

**Arimeh** · January 30th, 2009, 05:53 PM

Amber

Babe, its always an adjustment from 1 kid to 2 - and I don't think it really matters what age #1 is!!!

There will always be time to get your body in shape. God forbid if you died tomorrow - which would you regret the most? Not getting in shape or not having another baby?

*mwah*

**maz** · January 30th, 2009, 05:54 PM

Having a baby is a 2 way street hon. Would it be healthy to bring a baby into your life with so many undecided avenues?

Why are you doubting that you wont be able to cope with 2 children? there are so many great woman out there who have 3 - 4 children who do it on their own every day, day after day.

Believe in yourself! Dig deep and reflect on what you have and you'll soon make the decission your self hon.

Good luck

**onthefly** · January 30th, 2009, 05:58 PM

If body and heart are ready then that's two out of three...
GL with your decision

**boomba** · January 30th, 2009, 06:06 PM

There will always be time to get your body in shape. God forbid if you died tomorrow - which would you regret the most? Not getting in shape or not having another baby?

I think this what I needed to hear thanks Mel x

Why are you doubting that you wont be able to cope with 2 children? there are so many great woman out there who have 3 - 4 children who do it on their own every day, day after day

So true Maz thankyou! Spose I am scared Myles will suffer He always gets his way lol I know deep down I am going to be fine and this was I have always wanted!

If body and heart are ready then that's two out of three

Yep I think your right! Thanks

May have to put the boy to bed and get baby dancing lol

**mbear** · January 30th, 2009, 06:07 PM

Even if you did get pg in the first month of trying, your DS would be over 2yrs....he will be a little bit less demanding than what he is now.
We got a shock in Sept when i found out i was pg with #4.....4 children 5yrs and under - how the heck was i going to cope!?????????????!!! I didnt accept it all too well....but you know what.....a pregnancy takes 40 weeks, 9 months or so to grow, ive only just passed the half way mark but you know what ? Now i cannot imagine NOT having 4 children. I cant wait to meet this little person.....time does make you accept and get used to the outcome if you know what i mean....

Good luck !

**skybie** · January 30th, 2009, 06:09 PM

Dont they always tell u to follow your heart and not ur head...................................

we had the same issues b4 we decided too, i guess the thing is, if it happens, u dont have a choice, u HAVE to cope!! and seeing as the you've already gone through one birth and raising of a child, YOU can do anything!!!!!!

**~Trish~** · January 30th, 2009, 06:12 PM

You will be surprised how well you cope with two Amber! Yes it's hard in the beginning trying to still be there for your first as well as a demanding newborn, but before you know it, it all just falls into place and you go "what's the big deal?" LOL!

When making a decision whether or not to have number 3, we thought about it for a long time (when I was still pg with K). There are lots of pros and cons, but I couldn't shake the feeling that we were meant to have three. I knew if we didn't do it, we would regret it. In the end we just bit the bullet and went ahead with it! I try not to think about how hard it will be, I figure it will be a lot like adjusting from 1 to 2 - it gets easier and you kind of just work out a rhythm that works for you all.

Good luck

**Junglemum** · January 30th, 2009, 06:32 PM

Amber- You will be just fine with two. You do an amazing job with Myles and i am certain the the next one will get just as much love. There isn't a finite amount you can give, you can always find more.

There is never the perfect time for a baby, always something that makes you question if it's a good time. If i waited until my brain said it was the right time to have children, i doubt we would have any by the time i was 40!

But............... only you will find the answer, i have an inkling if you started a thread about it then perhaps you already have your answer......... the baby clock ticks loud once it gets going.

**boomba** · January 30th, 2009, 06:36 PM

Mbear, Skybie, Trish and Falguni, Thanyou for you lovely input! Your are all right! I think it may be time to start trying for #2! I want this and as you said Mbear its 9 months and Myles will change so much in that time!

what would I do without you guys

xxx

**Dragonbub** · January 30th, 2009, 07:07 PM

Boomba - Good luck hun! I hope the TTC journey for you is the perfect length IYKWIM. I will be going down that road myself soon, and I understand the quandary of "when?" and wondering if you can cope with 2 (I have limited support also). Well done for being braver than I.

**maz** · January 30th, 2009, 07:13 PM

Amber honey - seee you found your answer

now Im just gonna sit back and wait for your pg announcement

**Tegam** · January 30th, 2009, 07:20 PM

Amber

Babe, its always an adjustment from 1 kid to 2 - and I don't think it really matters what age #1 is!!!

There will always be time to get your body in shape. God forbid if you died tomorrow - which would you regret the most? Not getting in shape or not having another baby?

*mwah*

Well well said....My husband travels and was away for the last 4 months of my 3rd pregnancy...You cope cause you have too..

I know this will sound weird too because as you are not pregnant yet you dont "love" another baby so you are just looking at the one you have thinking its going to miss out YKWIM.. Once number 2, 3, 4 or whatever are there and real its so much easier.

I have three and i talk of number 4 often....Im not nuts so its got to be easy

I use to look at women that had three children and think that they were just amazing, so organised and in control! Let me tell you babe we just get better at looking like we have everything under control and you adapt your expectations to meet reality

YOU WILL BE AMAZING......get baby making TONIGHT

**skybie** · January 30th, 2009, 07:29 PM

I use to look at women that had three children and think that they were just amazing, so organised and in control! Let me tell you babe we just get better at looking like we have everything under control and you adapt your expectations to meet reality

Thats awesome, I LOVE IT!!!!

**boomba** · January 30th, 2009, 07:32 PM

thanks dragonbub! Maybe we will be belly buddies

Milly that makes me feel so much batter thankyou! I bet you are organised though

Abd will have to start tomorrow DH is in bed

**skybie** · January 30th, 2009, 07:37 PM

Wake that man up! im sure he'll understand that there's only a small window of opportunity, or u could make it all about him and reap the rewards at the end!

**boomba** · January 30th, 2009, 07:56 PM

Skybie! Yeah maybe, but its hot and i know i can still get the job done tomorrow

**sneakysparkle** · January 30th, 2009, 08:00 PM

Yay Amber! all the best darl

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