Sarah, big hugs to you. I have not been in your situation, but I am hoping that my friend's story might help you.

Our friends had a 24 weeker 2 1/2 years ago. He is now healthy and catching up to other kids his age, but I don't need to tell you what a long road it has been to get to that point. They decided not to have any more kids as they couldn't face the risk of that happening again. A few months ago (about 33 weeks actually!), she fell pg unexpectedly. There was a lot of anxiety in the early weeks, but a caring ob, fortnightly checks and lots of extra ultrasounds helped. Then the milestones ticked by. Once she reached the 24 week mark with no incident she felt much better, but reaching 30 weeks and then 32 weeks were even better. Overall though, she felt less anxious than she thought she was going to. I think the key was lots of support and regular checks. I am so pleased for her that soon she is going to experience having a baby the way it should happen - at term with nothing but joy.

I wish this "happy ending" for you too. Feeling anxious is perfectly understandable, and I don't imagine it's easy to overcome that. But I hope that you can enough to enjoy the TTC and pg phase and hopefully experience mothering a nb the way it should be. I wish you all the very best hun. We are all here for you when you need support. Take care and GL.