Thanks for all your replies ladies.

I am starting to get some creative ideas, thanks for the inspriration. Telling him re timing is not an option due to the performance anxiety thing. He is not good about talking about these things.

Also things a little more difficult now with young kids in the house but I am thinking chocolate and dim lighting IYKWIM after kiddies bed time. Also might have to take an interest in the sports he likes and watch with him.

{Might be TMI but DD was concieved during a sport watching episode. So far the family hasn't realised, or hasn't said anything about DD being born 9 months after his favourite sporting event. Might have to try that one again!! I was trying to space b'days out a bit, but oh well if it works!!}