I know it's easier said than done but don't let your decision about whether or not to have kids be determined by your fear of labour. If that's all that's stopping you just try to put it in perspective. It is just one day of your life. Having kids is a very big decision but don't tie yourself in knots about how to manage your labour just yet. As someone else said, perhaps have a think (if you haven't already) about how you will manage the day-to-day issues of having a child. I believe that all labours are different and everyone has a different pain threshold. You might have a high pain threshold and have a pretty painless labour!
I was 38 when I had my first one (just 12 weeks ago). I was never completely sure I wanted kids and I thought VERY long and hard about it. I had read all the horror stories about sleepless nights, screaming babies etc. etc. and to be honest, even once I'd made the decision to try for a baby I wasn't completely 100% sure I'd done the right thing and had a minor freak-out before my daughter was born. I had mentally prepared myself for the worst and expected to have to grit my teeth through babyhood until she got more 'interesting' and interactive.
Well, I can tell you that it is not like I had imagined. She is a fantastically easy baby and I love every moment with her. Last night I was complaining to my partner at midnight that she was asleep but I wanted to play. I just absolutely adore being around her and I hope she feels the same way!
That's not to say that your experience would be the same, just that people that have kids are not necessarily all 100% sure before they have them. We're all making it up as we go along!
I wish you all the very best with whatever decision you make.
Everyone has added a little here that has been of great help to me. I guess when it comes down to it, someone us never really know if we want to be parents or if we will be good parents but we need to stop and weight up the odds and go from there. Birth is natural, mothering is natural, babies are our teachers...
My biggest problem is the fear, I look past the pregnancy and the growing belly and worry about "the day" that day you go into labour, I start to question how much it will hurt, can I do it, will it hurt real bad. My mind over exaggerates the pain this is one reason I would need a doula and extra support to keep my mind straight. I can be a strong minded person and know I can do it, I just have to get past the little voice in my mind saying how hard it will be as I don't know how hard it is, I have never done it. And from what I see, most woman say its not as hard as they assumed.
Also its lovely to have your partner as support but there are just some things that feel more comfortable talking to another female with.
Thanks again everyone, I feel I am just a step closer, all wish and pray for me that I will take the leap soon and then tell you of the joy. You can bet Ill be the one crying with worry and will need your wonder words again.
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