When should you start worrying if TTC will ever work?

[David_R]

At what point do you start wondering if you’ll ever have that child you’ve been trying for? Is it:

A. After three months of trying to conceive
B. After 12 months of trying to conceive
C. After two years of trying to conceive
D. After ten years of trying to conceive
E. Any of the above

Find out in a new article to BellyBelly, called "When Should You Start Worrying About Not Conceiving?'. In it, I look at the general ‘medical’ response to conception problems and discuss how your individual situation may be different.

It answers the question that your doctor may not be able to!

So if you're interested, have a look and I'd love to hear what you think!

Cheers,

David Rawlings
Author of Swimming Upstream: The struggle to conceive

PS: Due to popular demand, we've extended the special BellyBelly discount on Swimming Upstream. So after you've read the article, check out the special 20% discount for subscribers of the BellyBelly forum.
http://www.swimmingupstream.com.au/bellybelly.aspx

[Violet Star]

Ive just read the article and loved it David. I think too often some of us hear the "just relax and it will happen". Glad your disagree.

I asked my DH whether he would want to read a book after some recent medical tests and his answer was no! So im buying it anyway for him.

[S'rose]

David - I have found the first part of your book invaluble at this point in my journey.

Dh just submitted his swimmers for testing and we have been off BCP for 11mths now.
I have worried about TTC for the last 6-8mths, and suddenly I have stopped worrying. I did think I could control it all and realised that everything I did was planned around "what if I'm pg"? The relief I feel at being able to plan things like holidays and buying household furniture irrespective of if bub comes, its indescribable. My point is though, that no matter what any one said or what I read, I had to get through the messy phase and accept that its out of my control. So I go back to worrying abut what i can control.
I also have to go through the testing phase for myself, I need to rule out what may be wrong or hindering the process.
My DH and I sat and talked last week and we agreed on a plan...
We'll try naturally (as long as its feasible physcially to get pg) until I am 35 (4yrs away). At 35 we will start adoption paperwork and if I get pg after that its a bonus.
As soon as we did that, I could breathe again.
So yes, I believe its (E) response, we all have our own process for attaining something we so desperately desire.
And we all do whatever we need to to get there.

[sazzafrazz]

Hi David,
I personally started worrying before we actually started trying! Because of DH medical history I knew it would be a problem before we even got engaged.
Weird though that I still took the pill until we were sure we would be ready if it just so happened to work straight away. What a waste of money that was lol.
I agree that everyone probably starts to worry at a different stage depending on their own history/expectations/situation. I have a friend who started complaining after trying for 1 month because her first was conceived straight away!! You can imagine my reaction I'm sure!!
I have recently started reading your book and was hoping DH would but he doesnt really read so I will just have to extract info and force feed it to him. Thanks for the articles and please keep them coming!

[David_R]

I have recently started reading your book and was hoping DH would but he doesnt really read so I will just have to extract info and force feed it to him.

I laughed when I read this as I've heard this so many times about our book.

It's the way guys absorb material like this. I know personally of about 25 guys who can quote the Men are from Mars book but didn't read a page of it themselves. They learned about it from their partner reading it and saying, 'Listen to this, this is exactly what you do'.

I myself learned about the whole 'men go into a cave' theory by having my wife read it at me at night while I was trying to read a Robert Ludlum thriller.

[M22]

I really believe that as woman - you just know when something is wrong for me to was long before we started to TTC, but all test came back negative until 6 months of TTC!!.

So for all DH's just support her if she tells you this......... encourage her to get checked out and listen to her cry and hug her!!

[danniellabella]

Thanks for this, it doesn't make it easier but at least I know that I'm not "doing it wrong" but it's still frustraiting!

[Roquen]

I was worried after the first BFN in month one :-) After 3 months, I have given up all hope and figure that is better than stressing out thus probably reducing my chances. I am 26 and in excellent health and OH in an athlete. I was quite suprised at not getting a BFP yet, but am enjoying life much more now that I am not doing OPK and HPT's every day! I have faith it will happen when the time is right, but I will seek medical advice if in 12 months there is no pregnancy.

[Starsha]

Hi - I begged my doctor for a referral and after 12 months we got one, so far, every test has returned normal. I am booked in for a Laparoscopy for this Thursday and I am SO SO scared - fingers crossed this operation clears the way for those little swimmers! Also, if one more person tells me to "just relax" it will happen - I think I will scream!