I agree that it should be about health, not weight. Funnily, I get told by my thin relatives that only 'fat people' say that... so I really don't know if I'm a good person to give advice.

I am overweight by bmi standards but I am healthy. I rarely eat bad foods like soft drinks and chocolate. I do overeat and have portion control issues but you know what, I don't care. I'm overeating stir fry and vegetable soups for dinners. If I was overeating fast food like McDonald's then there would be an issue. I am also fit enough to be healthy. I can hike 15ks no problems. I'm not a runner so I don't care that I can't run a marathon. I can get in a pool and swim laps and ride 50ks on a bike. I'm not fast but I can do it at a pace I can handle and enjoy.

Could I be thinner? Sure. Do I want to be thinner? Who doesn't. But I would also love to have smaller feet because size 12 is really hard to get!

Since having my little girl, my perspective has really changed. I don't want her to be defined by her body. I want her to be healthy and make healthy choices and be comfortable in her own skin. In today's society that is completely focused on weight, this will be very hard to achieve. I have come to the conclusion that if I have any chance at this, it will have to start with me and the people I associate with.

I now realise that my body shape will always be what it is. Certain clothes cuts will not look good on me irrespective of whether im obese or underweight. I no longer look at my wedding photos hnging up in my living room with regret. Regret that I didn't lose more weight before the wedding. I now look at them with happiness.

I have actively chosen to embrace my body, my food choices and lifestyle. We are healthy even if we are overweight. This is evidenced by our regular gp check ups. I have also distanced myself from the negative influences that are in our lives that don't refrain from talking constantly about weight or calling us overweight.

Most people, when I explain the reasons why, are more than happy to stop talking about weight loss etc around the kids. I'm hoping that it will eventually change the conversation when kids aren't around because I don't think it is healthy to be obsessed with weight.

Maybe you could use this as an example from a friend to get your conversation started. It got you to thinking etc...

Good luck and hope it works for you