Last night my bestie and I emptied a bottle of wine. My bestie, of course, being the wine.
And today I got to thinking about how the body metabolises ethanol. Well, it oxidises it to ethanal then to ethanoic acid. Vinegar. Which is why fats are great the next day as they react with the acid. Which means a fry-up the next day is mandatory to help me look after my body.
Then (follow the train of thought, clicketty clack) I thought: oxidation. In organic chemistry, that means the addition of oxygen.
Then (clicketty clicketty clack), I thought "who needs oxygen?" Sporty people, obviously. I know everyone needs it, but sporty people need it more because when they do sport they respire more and so they need more oxygen.
Sporty people are fit because they use lots of oxygen (whooo-eeeee). I use lots of oxygen to clear the alcohol from my system. Therefore, I must be fit because I'm using lots of oxygen, just like sporty people.
I never realised until now I could drink myself fit. My lifestyle rocks.




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