Roryrory is right. You do need to look at the reasons for wanting things to be tidier. I have only just finished some counselling and we touched on the whole expectation thing, especially in relation to me being a parent and keeping house. Basically I am to do what keeps me happy. If that means ignoring the house for a week, then doing the big clean, then that is ok. If it means cleaning a bit each day, then that is ok too. Neither is better than the other in the terms of what works for the family and myself. Sometimes we just have to accept that we are in survival mode when we have small children and that doing the bare minimum is more than enough.