Does your DP help out?

[Early Kids]

I am curious to see if other partners help out around the house?

A friend of mine was shocked when I told her that my DP does nothing.
I literally do everything, right down to taking the rubbish out and wheeling the bin down the driveway.
I dont do it because I want to, I do it becuase if I didnt it wouldnt get done.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Pffffffft, yeah right.

It's like I've committed a crime just by asking.

I had a thread a little while back, about encouraging 'partnership within the home', there were some great suggestions about how to get DP involved, I just don't have the patience for them to work. Oh, and I don't know how much your DP is in terms of stubbornness and uselessness thanks to gaming, but I attribute most of my D's laziness to that.

GL, it's a PITA.

[butterfly_warrior]

Mine does more than help out - he pretty much does most of the work. He cooks, he cleans and will feed and change Sam if he's at home.

A lot of it comes down to the fact that with my health issues, I simply can't do it all. But even before I became very ill, DH would be great around the house.

I know I'm very, very lucky to have got such a great bloke!

BW

[GlitterMum]

My partner does everything, She cleans, does the washing, the gardening, the lawns, the rubbish and if i am a lil run down she will even do the cooking, (she used to be a chef so I get spoilt). I'm not even pregnant yet but she is absolutly wonderful
In turn I do all the grocery shopping, pay all the bills, do the filing, dust, make the bed daily and give her all the attention in the world.
We have been together for nearly 6 years and I work longer hours than her so it works well for us.
These things are not expected of each other, we just do it
Goodluck, sorry I dont have any suggestions

xx
B

[Danni]

I cant wait to read more stories.

I complain that DH doesnt help me enough.I dont think thats entirely true though... I think its just that I want him to do more and more? Im so lazy

He gets DS dressed for bed, nappy changes, helps out with bathing or showering him and puts him to bed every night.

He doesnt cook at all, but i dont want him too. Last night was the first night he has done the dishes in months--- only because my back wouldnt let me stand up anymore

He does help with hanging out the clothes on the line and general tidying.

Motiviating him is the hardest part. But deep down I do forget he works really hard all week

[Sterla]

I wish I could say my DH does more... but he doesn't . I do everything inside the home... apart from DH changing an occasional nappy (if I ask) and sometimes doing the dishes (again, only if I ask - and you should see the sad puppy dog eyes he gives me when I do ). DH does a bit outside - he takes the bins out, and sometimes mows the lawns... but not all the time (I paid my brother to do it last time cause I was sick of the long grass).

I don't mind doing most of the housework cause he's at work all day, but he really should help more when he is home.

[helle]

My DF has his usual jobs of taking out the rubbish each night, he'll do the dishes for me(well stack and unstack the dishwasher!) and mow the lawns and all that manly stuff etc etc. We usually watch over the bills together, but sometimes he takes over because money stresses me out ><;;
I'll cook, do the washing and generally keep the house tidy (although a bit hard sometimes during the week when we both work). Sometimes DF will chuck a load of washing on for me, or if I ask he'll hang it out...

We don't have a bub yet, but I think when we do all that stuff will be my responsibility and I wouldn't expect him to do any of it (except taking out the bins, yick! - mans job!). I would expect him to be a hands on dad though when he gets home from work and such and not just sit on the couch and watch TV once he's home and ignore me and bubs, and I'm pretty confident he'll do that naturally.

[Toomanytoomany]

My dp doesn't "help out" any more than he "babysits" when he's looking after the kids on his own - this is his home, too, and he takes as much resonsibility for it (if not more!) than I do. Even when I was a sahm he wouldn't hear of it being my sole responsibility to keep the house in order. When he lived on his own he took care of his home, and he wasn't going to change that just because he got married.

He does most of the cooking, I am doing more and more of the laundry now that I've finished working. We share the cleaning (although now we are also paying my eldest daughter to come and clean twice a week). Generally the load is pretty much 50/50, with our work arrangements dictating which bits fall into which person's lap. The only thing he doesn't see himself having an equal responsibility for with a baby is breastfeeding. We share all the bedtime stuff as much as we can. We're both very happy with the arrangement.

Personally I wouldn't accept a grown man expecting someone else to take the majority of the responsibility to look after his home and family, and I'd have been unlikely to get involved with someone who had that kind of attitude and expectation.

[Cally]

My DH does a fair bit around the house:
- lawns
- bins
- cooks a couple of nights a week
- washes up when I cook
- floors (but only about 3 weekly, I sweep in between times, wish he would do them more often)
- bills & filing

I do
- washing and folding
- bathrooms
- dusting
- majority of cooking
- general tidying
- garden stuff (other than lawns)

Thngs like dishwasher emptying just get done by whoever has time or is doing the washing up that night after it is clean. Ironing is typically done just for ourselves, he does his every few days, I save it up and do it in a big bunch and do his at the same time (he finds my stuff really fiddly).

Shopping used to be both of us, but since DD we don't do that as much. All during summer he would do it after cricket training so that was really good!!

DD care is shared pretty equally, although I tend to do all her food stuff. If a nappy needs changing either one of us will do it.

That actually looks like I don't do that much, it sure feels like I am doing more as he gets a lot more chance to read the paper!!

I don't appreciate him as much as I should, my BIL and other friends do so much less around the house. And judging by the above, most other men!

BIL looked after niece for a couple of days last week when my sis went back to work - he told her it was like a holiday. She got home and there was toys everywhere, no washing done, nothing done for dinner etc..... Yeah, I bet she feels like she's had a year's holiday - NOT!!

[mummato1]

Iam very lucky I think, DP and I share just about all of the household jobs. We both cook and do the dishes, sometimes we take it in turns but usually we do it together. We generally also go to the supermarket together as well. We both do each others washing if its there to be done. I generally vacuum, mop and clean the bathroom, and he mows the lawns and takes care of the gardens, and the rubbish bins.

The one thing that I love is that there is appreciation there, on both sides.. we thank each other a lot, which might sound silly but its something we have done from the start and will keep doing. Its nice to be thanked when you have cooked dinner, or done the dishes and there is no assumption of who is 'supposed' to do what job.

[Cally]

Toomany - I agree, I wouldn't have got involved with someone who wasn't willing to help out around the house. DH lived by himself for about a year before I moved in, he had been with his parents for a while but had lived by himself previously so he knew what needed to be done around the house.

Jng - good point re appreciation. Very important in a relationship, DH and I are trying to say thank you to each other a lot more lately and it does help.

I also find it is simple little things that can help. ie I will put toothpaste on his brush while I am doing mine, will get his breakfast bowl out when I get mine out.....

[SugarDust]

My DF does the dishes everyday.... I hate them.

he also does washing, he is a domestic goddess

[Amy_jellybean]

Mine does more than help out - he pretty much does most of the work. He cooks, he cleans and will feed and change Sam if he's at home.

A lot of it comes down to the fact that with my health issues, I simply can't do it all. But even before I became very ill, DH would be great around the house.

I know I'm very, very lucky to have got such a great bloke!

BW

We must be the lucky ones Butterfly_warrior, my husband is fantastic and does most of the work as well. I never feel 100% and am always very run down and he is fantastic!

Love him to bits

[Tinks]

My DH does heaps as well. Sometimes I think he does more than me lol.

[Oorki Galoorki]

My Dh does so much around the place.. but so do i..
we both think we do more then we should and both think we need a longer rest or 'free time " then the other... but it wont happen.
i wouldnt have married someone who cant hold thier own in the housework department.. i think its unfair that any part of a partnership wouldnt want to help the other partner..
but then again.. some days i wish i was the type of woman that could do it all for him.. i love that he provides for us financially i wish i could provide completely in the household..

[catherinemoses]

IMO that is just not good enough of your partner. You are not his slave!!!
My DH doesn't do heaps but he definitely does help out. He usually does the rubbish and bins. He usually baths Flynn while I wash the dishes. He usually puts the dishes away in the morning when they are dry. He mows the lawns and looks after our cars. He occasionally does the laundry (but only his own clothes cos I'm a bit pedantic about the laundry!!) and will bring in washing if I ask him to. He doesn't cook but that is not one of his strong points! I don't expect too much of him housework wise because he works outside of the house so that is generally my domain. I feel that we have a happy medium going on.
Perhaps you could ask him to do a few things (at leat the bins for a start). I don't think guys tend to see things which need doing and do them. They need to be alerted to the fact that something needs doing and you would appreciate them doing it!
HTH

[hopeful_mum]

i have to say i feel a bit sheepish because my DP is very good to me, he does the dishes as well as cleaning out my car. he is on a mission to rid the house of ants at the moment. he's definately a keeper