How do I get out of this TIP?

[Laranna]

I'm another who uses the basket from room to room system. Even if the stuff doesn't get put where it belongs at least it is tidy and I know where it is.

My dining table is usually covered with books, papers, keys, etc so I tend to stack it all in one pile at one end of the table. It looks neater that way until I get a chance to put things away.

I had trouble with DH putting his dirty washing in the laundry hamper. He'd just leave his clothes on the floor next to it! Until one day I had enough and I said to him if it's not in the basket by Friday night it doesn't get washed. I only wash what's in the basket. It took a week and no clean work shirts and trousers before he co-operated

Have you thought about taking some photos of your house and yard? Print them out and show your man. Sometimes they just see past it all but a picture allows you to step back from it and see it all in reality. He might wake up to it then.

[fionas]

Good idea about the photo! After a ridiculous argument one day where he swore black and blue that the office wasn't messy even though the floor was a death trap of empty beer bottles, opened book stacked on open book and general clutter, I said, "OK, d'you know what, I'm going to photograph it and send it to Judge Tracy (one of our friends) and see whether she thinks it's messy." Got cleaned up the same day.

[Rosie's Mum]

I'm going to steal some of this advice, I hope I can add to it. Maybe take a day or 2 and clean the house as much as possible. Then get a couple of plastic tubs, baskets or boxes, anything that belongs to your husband and the grown up kids that is not put away goes in the box.

Also it you want to retrain them- organise the hell out of you house. Have a place for everything, (a label maker come in handy) coats go on the hook by the door, shoes on this shelf etc etc you can label every cupboard, hook and box in your house and pictures/ photos for the little ones. You may need more shelves! That guy Peter Walsh from Oprah who organises peoples junk says you should never use flat surfaces to store things ie tables, benches. If everything has a home it's much easier to put things away, you house will look like a kindergarten but you will have your sanity. Then start teaching EVERYONE "don't put it down, put it away"

If you want to be tough start confiscating toys and computer games for a period if they are left lying around. But work up to it- organise house, explain the new rules and have a count down. Like "put this on the bookshelf, next week if I see it on the floor it's mine for a week"

I may have written this more for myself! I don't do it I have just read ALOT of books on the subject!!! I am a terrible hypocrite!