I'm going to steal some of this advice, I hope I can add to it. Maybe take a day or 2 and clean the house as much as possible. Then get a couple of plastic tubs, baskets or boxes, anything that belongs to your husband and the grown up kids that is not put away goes in the box.
Also it you want to retrain them- organise the hell out of you house. Have a place for everything, (a label maker come in handy) coats go on the hook by the door, shoes on this shelf etc etc you can label every cupboard, hook and box in your house and pictures/ photos for the little ones. You may need more shelves! That guy Peter Walsh from Oprah who organises peoples junk says you should never use flat surfaces to store things ie tables, benches. If everything has a home it's much easier to put things away, you house will look like a kindergarten but you will have your sanity. Then start teaching EVERYONE "don't put it down, put it away"
If you want to be tough start confiscating toys and computer games for a period if they are left lying around. But work up to it- organise house, explain the new rules and have a count down. Like "put this on the bookshelf, next week if I see it on the floor it's mine for a week"
I may have written this more for myself! I don't do it I have just read ALOT of books on the subject!!! I am a terrible hypocrite!
Thanks for your replies everyone! I've been at my Mum's the last couple of days, so away from my pc. My brother is kind enough to let me use his atm.
Skeetaboat; He collects car parts as we are hoping to open a workshop (so he can stash all his cr@p there!), and we have a business working on 4wds and parts supply. But, if he organised teh garage he would have room for teh majority of it, and it wouldn't be strewn everywhere. And we are 'car people'. Yes, he hoards, and so do I, but I try not to let it go everywhere. The first step, is to stop bringing it in! I doubt very much that the ultimatum would work, as we can't afford to get a skip like that!
We used to enjoy going cruising together, we met through classic cars.
Kim; Thanks for saying all that. It makes me feel a bit more positive about myself and that I can do things, at least for Steph's sake (and Ryan's). I must be having some sort of positive impact on Ryan, as get this, the other day when I was folding a basket of washing, he pulled his bib off his high chair and came over and put it in the basket to be folded. Then, when the tea towel was visible in the basket, he grabbed that out, and crawled with it over to the drawer where the tea towels live, opened it, and stuffed the tea towel in there, and shut the drawer again! He's one for goodness sake, he can't even walk! Yet he's tidying! Love him!
Astrid; I do things while I'm on the phone too, usually folding washing.
Eluned; I've told the Man that if the washing is not on the washing pile in the bedroom or in the laundry basket in the laundry (there's no basket in the bedroom as there's no space) then it doesn't get washed. Damm, Ryan is awake, I will finish posting tomorrow!
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