Haha that is a classic - what on earth were you looking for!? I LOVE etsy, just the most awesomely creative stuff and I haven't seen one vulva portrait! The sexy ones are very Jessie Steele looking. Lots of black,red and white polka dots, 50's retro style, frills etc. but I just realised they are around $30 US so about the same as ebay. Go have a squiz, I dare ya! I just typed in sexy aprons in the handmade search and they came up. Nothing X rated I promise!