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Hey Lissie!!
I actually do write in a journal - have been since I was 17 - but as the counsellor pointed out, I generally use it to vent about negative experiences I am having/ talk about events that I go to. She said it was a brilliant start, because as you said I get rid of the yucky thoughts that go round and round - but I needed to also be focussing on the positive. So that's when I agreed to give it a go.
With the couples one - the hardest thing on this page is complimenting DH. I don't compliment often, so when I do it really has to be something special - this makes it feel a little false - but I'm perservering!
LOL about ' a lot on my plate' - I think that just describes my life!!:D
Yep - November is when quarantine is up.
How you doing???
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Hey Gargy,
I'm doing well - have booked in for another cycle in November - but still hoping and praying that a donor embie might turn up, but we still have to give it a go if not, will most likely use donor egg at this stage not really sure yet, my friend who is willing to donate an egg is 37 so still not really young but still in the running. However DH sperm problem so still chances aren't that great but theres always hope - who knows miracles happen all the time and might just get one. Just can't sit around waiting so have to do something pro-active just in case. I'm not giving up - i want to be a mummy so bad and to have a family.
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Hi Girls,
Em - 20 follies - thats brilliant..I have my fingers crossed that they keep doing 'their thing' for you. I so know where you are coming from wishing it was over.
Gargy - hope the councellor helps. How's Weight Watcher going for you?
Lissie - I'm sure that embie is going to turn up for you...
Me - sitting and waiting for AF - and starting the needles yet again next week..
Have a great weekend..
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Hi girls
well I finally received the donor info pack from Monash and I am in the process of having the counselling session. They were so surprised that someone of my age would give away their healthy 5 day emby. I guess this doesn’t happen often.....It makes me wonder what people do with all their leftover embys?
Anyways, so its all a bit overwhelming as there will be a lot of new test done and the counsellor will be drilling some things in to us in regards to legalities and the future.
Both hubby and I are very determent to donate so our mind are made up.
The good thing is because of my age they are not as reluctant to not go ahead with the procedure as I am still in my fertile years, and have very good results come back from the current pregnancy.
Its sort of exciting as I so know that this could make a couple very happy.
Will keep you girls up to date with the whole process.
Its good to read about what its like to be the receiver. I will let you know what its like to be the donor.
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LP - you go girl!!!!
I love love love what you are doing. You really sound like incredible people.
Good luck with all the councelling etc - I am sure you guys will breeze through it all.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us - it's really interesting to listen to the otherside.
Have a great weekend..
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Hey girls- Final count yesterday was 22 follies.EPU was meant to be monday tuesday but they have put me back to thursday for EPU. Follies are still quit small. the biggest ones are around 15mm i think then 13mm, so there are 8 at that stage but the rest of them are at 10mm. They said cause i have so many and the all pretty close in size they dont want to waste them and they want to be able to give them ago. So in my eyes more is good,i only want two embryos and some other lucky couple get the rest,works for me.
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:hello: Girls,
Mumof5, - wow thats alot of follies - good for you - you will have that little bundle of joy before you know it.
Lulu - i think you are incredible for doing back to back cycles, you must be tired :hug: but its all worth it isn't it. Whilst we are doing something pro-active we feel we are one step closer - sending you heaps of positive vibes Lulu and i will through in alittle extra emotional strenght too, the IVF is so exhausting i find, but when its your only choice you do it. Good luck.
Ltl Panda - you are some special couple.
Hope you all have a great day.
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Hi All,
Em - sounds like a brilliant result is coming your way. Good-luck for Thursday - I'll be thinking of you...
Lissie - you are so right...being pro-active makes me believe I am closer..as hard as it all is - all the waiting inbetween just kills me as I watch the days fly.
Have a great week everyone.
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Hi girls,trigger shot is tomorrow night at 11pm. My biggest follie on friday was 15mm and today my follies range between 17mm and 21mm. Nurse said i have plenty to share around...she is cheeky. So so bloated feels like im 6mths preg. Up two or three times a night to pee
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Mumof5,
Gee looks like egg central for you hun - i hate this part of IVF just prior to egg pick up the bloating is horrible - i always suffer badly from the bloating its like have two extremely large oranges sitting on your ovaries, lol. ANyway good luck with it all you will breeze thru it im sure.
Lulu - I hate the waiting too - the older we get the less we want to wait cause we just don't have time to wait anymore. I know where you are coming from Lulu, just hang in there - whats that old saying - good things come to those who wait! hehehe - thinking of you Lulu and again i think you are very brave to go solo - i admire you.
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mumof5, you must be so sore hun, ouch, and I was complaining with 14.
and the worst part is, if it all works apparently they stay swollen to up to 12 weeks, that’s what my nurse had told us, and the scan proved that one correct.
so we look pregnant within the first few weeks.
I hope it all works for you….
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Hey Em,
How did you go?? You've probably even had the transfer by now...
Lissie - my waiting is finally over. I started the needles yesterday. I did get a bit(ok - a lot) nervous as for the first time the FS wanted bloods before I started to check my levels. The nurses explained to me that as you age (the polite version of..now you're an old bag) the FSH levels can fluctuate month to month. One month may be higher - not good and the next lower - good. Anyway, mine were still ok - although obviously the the levels of a youngster.
Hope everyone has a fab weekend...
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Hey Min... had EPU yesterday and i was awake for the hole thing and i was pretty sore. We got 17eggs. Scientist call just before and 12 out the 17 eggs have fertilized. Transfer is at 10:15 tomorrow. Still pretty sore and bloated and just yuk. Just got home from doing the food shopping,shouldnt have done that.oh well better go rest
Take care
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mumof5, that is a good number. 12 ot 17, very good. Good luck with it all.
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:hello: Girls,
Lulu - great on the road again as they say - fingers crossed for you that this will be your cycle
sending you heaps of :bluedust:
Mumof5 - thats fantastic! 12 little embies, wishing you heaps of luck with the transfer and :bluedust: to you too.
Ltl Panda :bellyrubs: hope you are well.
Me - sooo excited - i have a donor - still got to do all the paperwork etc but just can't believe we are so lucky to have found a generous couple to give us such a gift. Will keep you informed.
Hope you all have a great weekend.
Gargy - where are you ? hope you are well.
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Hi all
Just popping in to introduce myself. I am 31 (turning 32 this year) and my DH is 36.
My husband has azoospermia, so we are on the IVF merry go around using anon. donor sperm.
We have recently had our first stimulated cycle which unfortunately was neg. We have 4 snowbubbies and will be trying our first FET probably in Nov.
We are pretty positive at the moment, although in all honesty I dont feel completely at ease with the donor thing. Its been so hard to come to terms with the azoo. diagnosis and every now and then I cry myself to sleep thinking that the man I fell in love with and I will never have a biological child together. It almost feels like grieving for something so precious that has been taken from us. My DH has been so strong ie: he has come to terms with the diagnosis much sooner than I have. I have so many conflicting feelings from time to time ie: the need for a child vs. the fear of the unknown (I dont know anything about the donor - all I know from the clinic staff is that he is a lovely man which was very important for me - although all donors are pretty special people). I also sometimes feel like I am betraying my partner ie: if he cant have biological kids, then shouldnt I just accept that is my fate as well.. oh, it drives me nuts sometimes. All in all, I know that we both want children and that we will love them dearly together no matter what. Does anyone else go through this - and is there a support group for donor conception that you would recommend.
Cheers
V
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Hi girls- Transfer went good.The embryos were day two and were at 4 cells. I have to wait till tuesday to see if the others can be frozen as they couldn't freeze them at the stage they were(which i forgot to ask how many cells the other ten were at. I'm still pretty sore(feels like one big stitch). Late yesterday well after transfer i got these sharp pains,don't know what they were tho.
Take care
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Hi Venus,
I am currently going thru the donor thing with donor embies. I have been on IVF for 3yrs now and have gone thru using my eggs and DH sperm, then donor egg and DH sperm , then my egg and BIL sperm to no avail and 6attempts. I have had councelling about all as you must do when receiving donor. I guess we are all different on how we view things. Of course everyone first wants a biol child but after conselling and lots of soul searching etc i came to realise that what we really wanted was a family whether it be biol , adopted or thru donation. I am extremely comfortable with the whole process now - to me you will carry this child, you and your DH will go thru the pregnancy together just like normal, you will bear this child, breastfeed it, spend sleepless nights and your lives will be filled with so much joy that only a newborn can bring. This child of yours will be both yours regardless of where the sperm came from, you DH sounds like a lovely man and no i don't think you should take fate and have no children, your desire to have them sounds strong, this will not just disappear. I know for me the desire is soooo strong and i know we will be parents i just have to be patient. Venus have you done your conselling yet? IF not this may help you and there are alot of books avail to read about receiving and being donors. I have a friend who has a little boy thru donor egg and her DH sperm, she feels so blessed and she is and always will be Denzels mummy no matter what, when her donor offered eggs to my friend her comment was i quote" I don't love my eggs" & "look at it this way im giving you one ingredient you need to make this child and the rest is up to you" - Venus i know you will find peace with your decision and it is a wonderful gift you have been given. Good luck sweetie - trust me all will be okay - trust your feelings and go with your heart and all will work out.
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:hello: Mumof5,
How exciting, now the dreaded TWW so i will send you heaps of positive vibes :stickyvibesboy: now just take it easy for a while and let your DH pamper you. You will be sore for a little while - i used to get a few pains after transfer to - this is normal don't worry. Can't wait to read your BFP news in a couple of weeks. Take care.
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Mumof5 - you have done very well. Will keep my fingers crossed for you hun.
Oh Lissie, thankyou so so so much for your wonderful response. You are inspirational!!!
I have just read it out to DH as he was wondering why I had tears running down my eyes whilst sitting at the computer (he also sends a big hello and thanks). It is so comforting to hear from another person going through the same process. You are so right - it doesnt matter whether or not the child is biol. ours - we already love them even though they are not quite here yet. I guess part of my fear is how the child will feel about the whole thing - but then again I know that our relationship (and love) is strong enough to support them through whatever they may feel (and need to do - like tracking down biol. dad if they want to). Its amazing - I would never have wished infertility upon my worst enemy, but you know what I have discovered so much more about myself that I would never have had the opportunity to if this had not happened to us.
Once again, thankyou Lissie xxx
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Hey everyone,
Ok this vent is all about me - see above for the personals...
Sorry I did the disappearing act for a while - things got hectic! I didn't get an interview for the job I went for and felt a bit disappointed by that. Luckily enough, shortly afterwards there was a seminar held to say how to write the CV/do the interview. Mine is ok, but needs a lot of work. Was very irritated by the fact that there was information required that is not up front and clear ie only people that have gone for the jobs know about it.
Then I went into this whole discussion with myself about why does the whole thing have to be so hard to do anyway? Do I really want to go for a Head teachers position? Am I better off just staying where I am and concentrating on getting fit and having a baby? My gut says 'go ahead, do the changes and get people to check it, but don't go for any more jobs at the moment until you REALLY want to move.'
Then of course my MIL had to chime in with her usual nastiness. Finally I am finding trying to lose weight and concentrate on doing the homework from the counsellor - as well as everything else - rather stressful. We went to the vets on Friday as the cat has this horrible red blister near his mouth - and she was asking whether we were stressed. I said 'no more than usual'. But my eye has been flickering non stop for two weeks now. I just feel on edge all of the time.
There is absolutely nothing I can do towards having a baby until November. I haven't seen/heard from our SD and I feel a bit bad I haven't contacted him, but I wanted our relationship to return to normal (eg contact every now and again)
So this is where I am...I've lost weight but feel bad that I haven't started adding in exercise; I've seen the counsellor but finding it hard to keep up with the exercises; I'm seeing my mum once a week to give her a break from caring for Nan, but I am teaching her how to use the computer and I'm not sure if this is adding to our relationship; I'm not happy at work but not sure what to do about it; my IL look like they're going to cause problems again and everyone is on edge including our pets.
DH and I are going 'away' next weekend (going to Wollongong for two family events but we've booked a hotel room so we can have some time to ourselves and the pets are going to a Boarding Kennel) so I hope this helps. I'm just sick of feeling like this...
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Hey everyone (again)...
Lissie - thanks for checking up on me. I know that need to pursue everything to have a child - I think that's also why I'm feeling this way. Fantastic news that you have a donor!!
Lulu - the counsellor is working and I've lost 2.7 kg with WW - just unsure about the stress that's going with it. As Lissie said - you're wonderful to be doing another cycle again - fingers crossed for you!
Ltl Panda - I'm so glad you and DH are going through with the donation - yu are very definitely wonderful and kind people. It will be great to hear what it's like to be on the other end and be the donor...
Mumof 5 - brilliant level of transfer - fingers crossed for you too! Sending you heaps of sticky vibes!
Venus - DH and I are in a similar position to you, except we are using a known donor. I find that I swing from being really angry about the unfairness of it all, to knowing that DH and I have the strength to follow a path that is different to other parents - but in the end will lead to a child. As Lissie said, counselling is really important in your understanding of this process - I can't recommend it enough. And this forum is brilliant for the support that you need.
SuziQ and MargOz - how are things with you??
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:bluedust::bluedust:Hi Ladies,
Venus - welcome..I totally agree with Lissie - your child will be yours. You will care for him/her, comfort h, change h pooey nappies and love him/her. A child is a product of their upbringing and I'm sure yours will have a wonderful one since you have chosed this difficult road of IVF. Good luck!
Em - what a brilliant result! My fingers are crossed for you and I will be thinking of you and monitoring your stressful TWW.. :bluedust: to you sweet.
Lissie - wow..big decision. You go girl!! I am so glad you have found someone wonderful..they obviously know what a gorgeous person you are and how lucky that child will be.
Now tell me..I know you were anxious about your eggs..but can u tell me the reasons why the clinic were telling you that your eggs were not great? Before starting on Thursday, my doc did a FSH test. Came back at 8.2. They told me that this is still fine to go ahead and they told me it fluctuates month to month. This is the FSH not egg quality. Can they actually test the eggs? I thought not? You know I am in the same situation so appreciate the info.
Gargy - poor love. You seem so stressed right now. Here's my two cents worth about the job. Will it cause more stress in your life? If so..can you seriously deal with it right now on top of everything else? If you feel it's not an issue - go for it. If not - I would hold back because you've been thru so so much lately..
Me - on day 4 of needles. 1st bloods tomorrow but so far so good. All the fun things still to come at the end of the week - bloating, discomfort..but you all know where I'm coming from..
Have a great week all..
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Hey Gargy,
We must have crossed messages..
2.7kg - great work! Yes - worth the stress. Weight is a huge factor - so I keep reading and I am also trying so hard to lose weight. It's so hard. Everytime I go back on Puregon - put on - then struggle inbetween to lose that weight plus more.
It's a hard boring road..
Keep it up.
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Aww thanks girls you are all just to wonderful
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:hello: Lulu,
Well when i had my FSH and other hormones checked it came back at FSH10, which isn't great but isn't the worst either , i am kinda borderline - but with my age etc we all feel doctors included that donor is the most viable option for me. You are only 41 Lulu and whilst i am only nearly 2yrs older it does make a difference -every year changes things. I could try again myself but chances are very slim and feel that donor is our best change now of fulfilling the dream of having a family.
I am very excited and feel all will work out.
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Hi Gargy,
You sound very stressed at the moment. Funny you say about your eye flickering - my right eye lower lid has been doing the same - i work for a Chiro and she told me this is a stress related thing - don't worry it will go away once you bring your stress levels down. Funny i don't feel stressed but yet again i must be with this eye thing happening - very annoying isn't it. My boss has just started me on a course for Chiropratic Assistants - so i will plunge myself into it until we have our little donated embies and then go from there - as much as i try to just go about my daily routine all i seem to do is think about these little embies. Good on you for going away next weekend it will do you the world of good - i am planning a weekend away in November for my DH 50th - will make it a family reunion type weekend and just relax - probably go to South West Rocks and stay somewhere on the beach, it can't come quick enough. Why don't you go and have a facial or something to spoil yourself, book in for a massage or just take a nice long bubble bath - take care Gargy and good luck with the job.
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Hi girls I'm going to have to say good bye to you all as i have be told i cannot keep posting in here as I'm not one of you and I'm not aloud to keep updating my progress in here. Like things are not hard enough at the moment with all the emotions of IVF and hoping to donate what embryos i have left and normal everyday life on top of that.
So good bye ladies and i wish you all the best of luck in the future
Take care Em XX
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Mum05,
Sorry to see you go - i really hope all works out for you i really do - sending you :hug: all the best with this cycle and your donating wishes. Take care of yourself.
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Hi Venus,
I just wanted to write a short message to you, because my partner and I can relate to your struggle with accepting that you and your DH can't have a biological child together.
We can't have a child together (obviously :lol:) and even though we have always known that, it is still hard, now that we are finally getting into the business side of things (just did my first clomid cycle... BFN unfortunately), and choosing a donor, is very hard.
But something we had always said is, we are doing this together. We choose the donor together, go to the appts. and when i get pregnant my partner will be the one by my side. She will cut the cord at birth, the one who gets to share the joy of bringing our child home, seeing the first smile, the first step, the first word... we walk this road together, side by side.
Being a parent is so much more than just adding an ingredient into the mix.
From your last post, it sounds like you are feeling a lot better, but I wanted to write this anyway, to let you know that I hear you, loud and clear.
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New thread time, lovely ladies.
