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Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #8

  1. #217

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    Quote Originally Posted by SD2001 View Post

    My personal opinion is that I am happy for the recipient couple to donate the embryo to another couple, but it is a little weird that I do not get a say in the matter. I very much doubt the clinic would even inform me of the situation.
    Wow SD, I have selfishly never considered this angle, but it makes total sense,
    I must admit that I haven't actually considered the rights of our SD at all, I was on the fence about donating any remaining embies but my reason was a lot more selfish, I just couldn't get my head around the fact that my DD and soon to be DS's biological brothers and sisters would be out and about in this not so large world I know the risks would be small but a small risk is still a risk too much for me.
    We have only 3 remaining embies and although I feel that our family will be complete in a couple of weeks time I will hold on to the reamining embies for another couple of years just incase and will possibly change my mind by this stage.
    SD2001 Welcome to our little group, your input will be appreciated, it is great to have some different perspectives to the DC journey hope you hang around with us for a while


  2. #218

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    SD2001,

    This must be a clinic decision. We were also told that we could not donate the embryos unless we have permission from the donor. Like Tarkine, this also made me very upset.

  3. #219

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    SH2001 - We were told about the not allowing to on donate, due to the fact that the donor of the sperm did not have a say in it. The lady who told us this (March 08) had been dealing with donor issues for 30 years. She also said it was unlikely that any changes to the legislation would be retrospective (to those frozen embies).

    My issues were that if we were to be blessed with a healthy baby (and we only ended up wanting one) then we would not be able to share the blessing with other couples, by on-donating the embies. I would love it that the legislation changed and it was made retrospective. If only I was 10 years younger, I would donate my eggs in a flash!

  4. #220

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    Quote Originally Posted by blizz View Post
    SD2001 Welcome to our little group, your input will be appreciated, it is great to have some different perspectives to the DC journey hope you hang around with us for a while
    Thanks blizz.

  5. #221

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    We were also told that we could not donate the embryos unless we have permission from the donor.
    Hi Blizz, Gargy and Tarkine,

    If this is something that you strongly believe in, then an option could be to contact the donor (via the clinic) and request permission to donate the embryos. The donor will most likely say Yes.

    More information can be found in the NHMRC guidelines. See section 6.14 "Responsibility for gametes and resulting embryos".

    "Once fertilisation has taken place, the persons for whom the embryo has been created have responsibility for decision making about its use in their own reproductive treatment and the medical care of the embryo (both before and after implantation into the uterus), storage and disposal."

    Also see section 7 "Use of donated embryos".

  6. #222

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    Hi everyone,

    Syranel is really kicking in - or the stress - not sure which, but I've had massive headaches over the past two days.

    Work situation unfortunately has not been resolved - but I think its getting there...

    Will hear from the vet tomorrow as to whether the dog is ok.

    Have heard some really bad news about the wife of a friend of DH's - unfortunately her cancer has become terminal and she will pass away in the next few days. She is only 37 and has 2 children.

    Feeling very down.

    ETA: AF has just arrived. Maybe this has been adding to my sad feelings.
    Last edited by Caramello; October 14th, 2008 at 06:21 PM. Reason: ETA

  7. #223

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    Hi Gargy...so sorry you're going thru such a hard time right now. I am so sorry for your DH's friend - it is tragic. Take care sweetie...thinking of you..

  8. #224

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    Gargyfor you and for your friend...that is one of my worst fears

  9. #225

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    Hi everyone
    Been MIA for a few months trying to avoid thinking about cycling/TTC etc but we are back on the bandwagon with another cycle underway.

    I was interested in your discussion about on-donating embies that are result of SD.

    The situation with my sister's donated eggs is DH and I have every right to on-donate any embryos without her permission. This was the one part of donating my sister had difficulty with as she found it difficult to imagine her children having a half genetic sibling (or cousin as we prefer to call any resulting child) possible out in the community and not knowing who they were. If there was a child resulting from the on-donation Em would be contacted by the Vic authorities to let her know but with limited details.

    As a way forward we agreed to consult her if we ever considered doing this and wrote that up in our informal contract (like a memorandum of understanding) between the 4 of us. The final decision though would come down to DH and I. Of course in our situation the likelihood of ever being in a position to on-donate is so slim but you have to think of all the possible scenarios. We would probably so known donation after consulting Em as this way there is a link and the child could have a chance to know their genetic heritage etc.

    Allie not long now!!! wishing you all the best sweets.
    xx

  10. #226

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    Dusty,thanks, yep on the count down now providing I don't go over like I did with Paige by 2 weeks (I hope not I am starting to feel like a beached whale at times and often need DH to help me up from situations where I have got just plain stuck....it will be worth it all shortly
    Have had a busy day went shopping in Launceston (about 2hours away) with DH and Paige had a lovely day had lunch at an out door cafe am totally exhausted now.
    better go and organise tea before I collapse for the night,
    love to you all Allie xxxxxxxxxxxx
    I will be in for a proper catch up when I have caught up on a little sleep

  11. #227

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    Did anyone here the story by Bill Cosby about 'buck, buck' ?

    It was about a game where one group were in a stack, holding each other, and a second group of people jumped on the first group yelling 'buck, buck' trying to break the stack.

    Bill Cosby's group had Fat Albert in it, so whenever the group they were competing against heard him coming, they instantly gave up.

    I feel like this at the moment. Pressures keep stacking on to see how much I can take before I break.

    I've written about it in my blog - but in a nutshell the work situation isn't any clearer, DH and I will be visiting the girl with cancer on the weekend, and we don't know the results from the dog.

    However I rang the clinic and they said it was a good thing that I had AF. Also, DH and I will be going up to Terrigal to see Hollybolly and some other people from BB - which hopefully should be fun.

    So, still feeling down - but I have the song 'I will Survive' in my head so I hope that means something...

    Blizz - sounds like fun.

    Dusty - glad you're back

    SD2001 - tell us a bit about yourself. Are you a dad yourself? How did you get involved in donating in the first place?

    Lulu - thanks sweetie - I'm hoping it will get better too...

    Tarkine - how are you doing?

    Joy - how are you?

    Cuddlepie - what have you decided?

    Lieve - how's it going?

  12. #228

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    Gargy - hun if it isn't raining it's pouring - sorry to hear of your friend - such a difficult time.

    I'm plodding along - work is work; DH is in Brisbane (again - he went last week!) his plane is delayed and I'm sitting here spinning my wheels waiting for news on when it is due to arrive. One of my cats got grease in his fur, and the vet advised I've got to shave him or wash him (each both equally as dangerous as the other)... both my shoulders have decided to go like boards - I'm seeing an osteopath to get my joints working again - something to do with the extra fluid in my joints, impacting on the movement and sitting at a computer all day doesn't help... not complaining.. making the most of every minute of this miracle pregnancy of mine, even the crappy painful moments!

    Sorry moderators totally off topic

    Take care girls!

  13. #229

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    Thanks Gargy for thinking of me...read about your blog, sorry to hear that seems everything all happen at once in your life right now, but you will survive. Funny you mentioned that song stuck in your head, it was seriously in mine last night coming back from Pricillia - the Musical, and that kind of cheered me up a bit...because

    ATM, I feel tangled. All the decisions need to be made, stay with current FS or not, continue this cycle or wait till next one etc. I won't go into much details but in summary it was a mess, maybe it actually is not but it sure feels like it. My mental state is a mess. I have booked Dr. Lok (specialized in male infertility) for next Friday 24th to see what's going to happen. My current FS didn't take this too well, he said that I am overreacting to 'a slight raise in number' (exact his words)...

    All these remind me 'Harry Potter' movie when Harry, Ron and Amalia fall into this hole and were tangled by those monstous tree roots. The more you struggle, the tighter it gets. The only way to get out is 'to relax' (don't we hate this phrase?) and let go.

    Oh well, that's what I am going to do now...let it go...take the path that universe lay in front of me and take the least resistance and just go with the flow...

    I am not going to patch up with current FS, not going to even venture to think of what I am going to do right now, I will just wait until next Friday seeing Dr. Lok and take from there...

    Sorry for lack of personals, I am not in the state of mind right now...but hugs to all you lovely ladies.
    xxx

  14. #230

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    cuddlepie take the time you need hon, we're always here for you

    Hi everyone else...nothing to report here, DD is at daycare today so have been pottering around with DH and he will be heading back to work shortly, hoping to do a quick grocery shop before we pick up DD as she has become a slight monster at grocery shopping time.
    love to all will be back in later for a better catch up if I don't crash in to bed early again.
    Gargy hope you don't mind but I have added your mobile number to my phone so I can SMS you when little Angus makes his appearance.
    Not planning to stay in hospital too long this time 1st time around I stayed way too long being a nervous new mum so all things being right and equal I will only be in a couple of days min.
    love to you all, take care Allie.B xxxxxxxx

  15. #231

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gargy View Post

    SD2001 - tell us a bit about yourself. Are you a dad yourself? How did you get involved in donating in the first place?
    No, I am currently not a dad yet. Nearly was once, a long time ago.

    I got involved in donating through a female friend of mine. She and her husband were going through IVF at the time.

    What else would you like to know?

    I am off to sunny Queensland today (Friday) with my better half for a long weekend in the sun ... so I'll chat again when I return.

  16. #232

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    totally jealous SD, enjoy the sun....mind you if I went to Queensland at this point I would have to keep a close eye out for greenpeace incase they try to save this poor beached whale by rolling me back in to the sea!!!!!
    have fun

  17. #233

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    Blizz - you are a crack up! Glad to have you SMSing me.

    SD - sorry, in rereading that question to you it did sound a bit interrogative. You can blame the syranel or my stressful life if you like - or just that I am nosy! I was just curious about you that's all, and how you had started down this path. I'd love to hear more about you if you feel it's not invading your privacy.

    Time away sounds wonderful - I hope you and your partner enjoy the time away.

    Tarkine - poor wussy cat - grease in the fur sounds horrible! Ouchy on your joints! Oh - as a Moderator I give you my express permission to talk about all aspects of your life - because it all relates back to donor conception, doesn't it? (and gee, don't I sound full of my own self importance! )

    Cuddlepie - that does sound really hard. I can't believe a FS was so petulant! Surely you have the right to seek treatment elsewhere if the current one doesn't feel right?

    Hi Joy, Lieve and MinnieMouse!

    As for me - updated the blog again. Quick synopsis: I'm going to a BB meetup tonight (yay), having a sad day tomorrow seeing our friend with terminal cancer, then medical tests on Monday.

    I've also decided that if the Principal decides I am the one to go then I am ready to go. I just hope the school I end up with has reasonably decent kids, a staff that is team orientated (with me included in that team), a HT that is organised and supportive, and a management staff that values what I do. I may even drop the STLA willingness to teach, and go back to teaching straight English and History - what I was originally trained in. Something to think about. (that second paragraph wasn't really quick, was it? )

  18. #234

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    Gargy, gotta love that synarel for getting you out of bed early on a Saturday morning!!!!!
    (noticed the time of your post)
    I wish I could sleep in but between
    -the blonde alarm clock smacking me on the check at 5:30 saying "you awake mummy?" then after lifting her in to my bed to watchi cartoons I get the cold feet kicking me in the belly and pushing and poking in a very uncomfortable way....then progressing to "GET OUT MUMMY!!!.....GET OUT MUMMY!!!!!) when she has had enough

    and

    feeling sooooooo incredibly uncomfortable with the sorest hips, being only able to sleep an hour on one side then an hour on the other.....the waking up and not being able to get comfortable enough to get back to sleep.


    and guess what???????????????????? it is my sincerest wish that you too will get all of these fun and games at the end of this cycle

    My wish for all of my good friends in DCS xxxxxxxxxxx
    love to you all
    I am off to try and organise the final stages of project laundry and should hopefully be finished with tradies and have the whole project complete by next weekend.
    Allie. B xxxxxxxxx

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