Clemo - I just learned about that too - it's my next research/google assignment.
Anyone know how long it takes to be activated on AED site - I put in my details a few days ago, received an email acknowledgment but not the activation email.
Clemo, yes have also looked into Epigenetics and it's very comforting.
Buliej: $US 30,000 !!!! Ooops. On the other hand with success guarantee and you can chose a donor who matches your looks and probably a very young donor too which gives you a better chance, may have another look into that. You still will have large costs here too as you need to pay your own and your donor's medical costs, some incidental costs for your donor and then may have to go through a number of cycles or not have any success.....
Sorry it has been a while...I have been getting my head around this new law that comes into effect for NSW in January next year:
The NSW Government is about to implement new legislation governing the use of donated semen. This legislation will come into force on the 1st January 2010....one particularly serious issue is that....we will only be able to provide treatment with donated semen where the donor is prepared to go on the New South Wales state register."
Luckily our donor has no issue with it, however it really distressed me when I first got the letter.
DH and I are seriously considering pushing through and doing a cycle in October - my heart says yes, my head is not so sure...
Sorry if this gets complicated but these reasons tie into each other.
Firstly, I had a really bad year last year in terms of work. I had a lot of sick leave, and this was used to try to oust me from my position. Eventually after it was pointed out that this was a naughty thing to do I was told that my current position was not available and I would have to move into a different staffroom to do a different job. All the staff were told that someone had to nominate to be transferred. I felt that it was easier for me to move to a brand new school with a brand new position.
Unfortunately this has not quite worked out. I am now working in another arrangement where I have to be in the same classroom with another teacher. This has nothing to do with me, it was an arrangement made before I even got to the school. This means that my job is very stressful at the moment. I have also had a number of days off sick - which the current school has been tolerant of, but in the back of my mind always is the way I was treated last year.
Secondly I had a really bad year in terms of infertility. After months and months of counselling we were finally ready to use the sperm of our friend and donor. However the IUI failed. Then we went for our first IVF. We had 12 eggs, out of which 4 initially fertilised. 3 then failed. One was placed in - but I was warned it wasn't looking good. Eventually this failed as well.
Thirdly DH and I have an arrangement that we are taxed on the highest income, and then in Sept/Oct we receive a refund which will cover an IVF cycle. We have not done our taxes yet. However there are other calls for this money. In July we decided to go on a holiday instead to Melbourne and Tassie - which we paid for through other means, but this has left a debt. My 40th is at the end of this year. And there are some things around the house that we desperately need: a dryer, a mattress and our 14 year old television is slowly dying. Not to mention simple things like new shoes, clothes etc.
We were not happy but accepted that if we went next year that the cycle would cost more. However I was hoping my health would be better, I would have less stress at work because I would be used to the new set up and I would have classes of my own, and my 40th birthday would be over and done with. We would be able to buy the purchases we needed. Also the failed IVF would be less raw.
However the more that I look at these things the more I think that they are secondary to having a child. The letter really threw me because it put me in the headspace that I was in when our clinic told us there were no more donors. And I realised that having our baby is something that I really want to do.
I see - that's pretty full on. I view everything through the prisim of age - and I am aware that this biases my views. The one thing you can't get back is your younger years - unfortunately, I wasn't atuned to this when it mattered and put off our first IVF cycle for some time because I wanted to have x years behind me in my current position and then we were planning a big holiday and I wanted to go on the holiday not pregnant so I refused to start cycling until aftetr the holiday (I assumed I would get pregnant immediately - ha!). All these decisions are much regretted today. I'll never know whether those 8-12 months would have made the difference...but they could have.
I would never be so presumptuous so as to tell someone what is right for them...but I can tell you that the regrets are horrible and it takes a lot not to let myself drown in them. As you say in your post, the tv and the other things can be purchased in the future. Your job situation is a tough one - the stress of IVF is enough - dealing with a work situation on top of it is not easy. and of course, you want to be the best mental and physical shape as possible. It's a lot to weigh up. I think that so long as you, your DH and your donor are happy with whatever decision you make, that is the most important thing.
Edit: I originally had our history here - but just hit the Moderator button and its the same thing...
BulieJ: I take your point that time is slipping by, this issue has been with us for most of our marriage and we are coming up to our 15th year. I look at the shoes on my husband's feet that are falling apart, I looked at the stress on his face and agreed with his decision that we needed a holiday this year, I worry about how my reputation at work is again slipping because I will yet again be that teacher that has to take sick leave because of IVF.
With my 40th - I wanted a reason to celebrate with my family and friends that had nothing to do with IVF - because the majority of them have been with us on this journey and if I go and have a cycle and it fails I will be absolutely miserable for my birthday.
I swing all the time between irrational hope that we will have a miracle because we have been favoured so far with so many miracles, and hopelessness that none of this will work - that I will be the person in the family that has foregone the promotion, the mortgage, financial stability in old age, emotional and mental peace etc etc
And yet, and yet I have this overwhelming instinct to try again in October...
I hope that I have not overwhelmed you - its just that all of this is playing on my mind atm and your question has allowed it to spill out...
'
Last edited by Caramello; August 19th, 2009 at 10:37 PM.
: Link to info
I had my 1st FS app with my cousin yesterday. It went really well. My cousin and I are like sisters so she requested that I come to every app with her. My fs did a scan and her ovaries look normal so that's a good start!
So that's one thing crossed off the list. Next is our 1st counselling session on 1 Sept.
I really hope I don't end up in tears at the counselling. When we 1st started IVF we had the compulsary counselling and I ended up in tears. Those counsellors always know the right things to say to get me welling up!
Can anyone tell me their DE counselling experience so I can know what to expect?
On another note: Dh and I are going to our friends wedding in Palm Cove, QLD next week. We fly out on thursday and come back Monday. We're staying at the Novitel so that should be a nice mini break in preparation for the 2 wks in Phuket in Oct!
Might have to slap some fake tan on though as I've turned into Casper throughout this Melbourne winter.
Wouldloveabubba - What a coincidence! Have you been before? This will be DH and my 3rd time. It's our favourite place. I'm so looking forward to relaxing on the sunlounge at the resort, reading a trashy novel, and drinking ****tails!!!! And of course all the night shopping!!!!!
My cousin, who is my donor, and her partner are coming with us. This will be their 1st time. DH and I have never been on a holiday with anyone so it should be fun!
Clemo and WLB - that sounds like an excellent holiday!
Clemo - funny you say that about councelling - I decided to go back to see a counsellor today because I wasn't coping (as you can probably tell from my last post LOL) She was really wonderful.
Other good news is that we went and got our take done today and we may get some relief in terms of finances too. Which means we may be able to go ahead in October after all!
Its good that the October option is there - and that's where my heart is.
But I'll compare myself to the guy in the Gatorade ad at the moment - where he fights against his body and it completely shuts down just before the finish line. I feel like I'm him at the moment - and I am a little scared of over reaching.
Anyway - will keep seeing the psychologist, see my GP and I'm also going to try and see an accupucturalist - make sure I am in the optimum place before starting treatment.
I finally have a few minutes to get on here and let you know that our little man has arrived! Jaxon was born on 14th August at 1.13pm weighing 7 pounds 13 ounces. We are all doing well.... just adjusting to getting up at all hours of the morning!
Gargy - Wishing you so much luck with your cycle in Oct. Good idea to see the counsellor if you're not in the right head space. I'm sure I'll be needing to do that at some stage. Although, I'm hoping that the initial sesson will be enough.
congratulations Joy, hope you're enjoying every minute of Jaxon's arrival.
Gargy - hope everything goes the way you want it to, whether that's October or later. it's amazing how quickly you can start to feel in a better place with a bit of conselling, acupuncture, etc...basically just looking after yourself...makes me wonder why us girls don't do more of that as a general rule, not just when cycling..???
I'm also back to the counsellor this week, been a bit fragile of late. I think maybe I just need a good cry, which no doubt the counselling session will facilitate Our potential donor did his 2nd test last week so we should know sometime this week if it's a green light or not. I've got everything crossed, but also preparing myself for disappointment just in case.
Have a good week everyone.
P.S Spoke to my clinic about the jan 2010 laws and importing sperm, and she said nothing will change, importing is still possible...so, that's good news at least. The issue is with embryos apparently.
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Have you been before? This will be DH and my 3rd time. It's our favourite place. I'm so looking forward to relaxing on the sunlounge at the resort, reading a trashy novel, and drinking ****tails!!!!
And of course all the night shopping!!!!!
congratulations Joy, hope you're enjoying every minute of Jaxon's arrival.
Our potential donor did his 2nd test last week so we should know sometime this week if it's a green light or not. I've got everything crossed, but also preparing myself for disappointment just in case.
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