Donor Sperm

Clarice, we just went through IVF with one of their donors off their books at the Canberra Fertility Clinic. Give them a call and ask to speak to their donor person (can't remember her name, and it changed from when we first went there).

I think from memory (and it was a year ago) that we had a choice of three locals and 8 overseas. I didn't get to asking if we could import our own donor.

Give them a call and have a chat to someone. I'd suggest calling after 9am (once the crazy morning blood session has finished).

I did end up ringing the canberra clinic, because Im from out of state they said I would be on the stand by list. So that meant when everyone else who needed donor sperm was seen to then I would be seen.

So that didnt end up working out for us. But I hope someone out there has success.

Redlady

Hi ladies
I went through Canberra Fertility Centre. The contact for donor sperm is 'Fiona'. And yes, you can choose your own donor from the USA - I did.
Redlady, I am surprised there is a standby list for donor sperm given you can choose your own donor. I know that there is a standby list for IVF with alot of people trying to get in before the Medicare safety net issues on 1 Jan. If you are still keen to go through Canberra, I would be persistent and give them another call - speak to Fiona rather than someone at reception.
Good luck :)

Hi we have just found out after going thru ivf cycle that my dh has no sperm! We now 6?eggs frozen but will have to use donor sperm and have no idea where to look or what the best way to go about it is! We will not be using a family member. If there is anyone out there that can help with information I would appreciate it!
We have to change clinics as our clinic only uses donor sperm from someone u know, we are in Sydney!
thanks

Hi blossom,

Firstly :hug: finding out that your DH is producing no sperm. It's a big shock to be given this diagnosis.

I presume that you and DH have talked about/have received counselling about the fact that he will be the raising father, even if he will not be the biological father of your child.

The next thing you will need to do is contact various clinics in NSW to find out what their procedures are in terms of donor sperm.

Be prepared to go onto a waiting list - when we were looking in 2006 there were absolutely no donors available at our clinic. I'm not sure whether it is any better now.

You said that you cannot have a family member. Do you have a friend that would be willing to help? This is the choice that we have made.

Hopefully others will come in and tell you about their experiences with other clinics.

Good luck. Also check out the donor chat section here for some lovely ladies that can give you all manner of support.

Hi Blossom
Hugs from me too. DH and I found ourselves in exactly the same position back in 2006. We were totally devastated by the news - I wont get into it but both DH and I hit extreme lows and it took us a while to pick ourselves up again. But let me reassure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Once we had come to terms with the news (well sort of), we looked into what our options were. We decided to ask DH's brother to donate. Our thinking at the time was that if DH could not have a biological child, using his brother's sperm would at least pass on some of my DH's DNA (and therefore looks, and perhaps personality traits). I guess at the heart of it, we secretly thought we would be able to pretend that the child was DH's.

DH's brother agreed to donate but this did not eventuate (a whole drama in itself) because of various issues such as going through a custody battle with his ex partner and meeting a new partner. Anyway, we then decided to use an unknown local donor through the fertility clinic. We did not have any info about this donor other than his blood type, hair/eye colour, general interests and reasons for donating. We had one fresh and two FETs with this donor. They did not work.

Next, we decided to go with an overseas donor (via the fertility clinic). We went through Xytex Corporation in the US. We found this a much more informed process (albeit pricey - it costs us approx $500 AUS to import a vial as opposed to $200 to use a local donor)- best of all we had a photo (child and adult) of the donor that we selected. We were able to match someone with DH's physical features. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we were successful first time around with this donor.

All our phobias about the child not being DH's biological child have gone. Our child is the child that we were always meant to have. He is perfect in every way. Had it not been for this painful journey, we would never have met him.

Good luck hun, and congratulations on your 6 frosties. I am sure it wont be long before you are holding your own bubba in your arms.

xVenus

Thankyou Venus so much for the email, it certainly is a very weird place to be in! Even though we have been more or less preparing ourselves for the outcome for a year and a half it still doesnt help.
I am now at an angry stage and cannot believe that i am in this position, it really sucks.
But we have to be strong and get on with it, im sure my dh and i have a long and rough road ahead and we just have to keep communicating to make it to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Congrats to you and your dh for getting to where you are at, that is really something.
With regards to using clinics in australia can you recommend any? Also was there a waitlist for the states?
Thanks x

No worries Blossom.
Anger is a very natural part of grief. I grieved for 2 years over the child that I dreamed of having with the love of my life. It was very hard changing the dream. Even when I was pregnant I still 'wished' that we had not had to go down this path, and was angry that it had happened to us. Alot of it was fear of the unknown. Most of all I feared that I would somehow reject this innocent child because I would not feel connected to him. Boy, was I wrong! Love really does have a way of ironing out alot of the bumps. This shared journey tested DH and I to the max and I am sure will continue to do so as our child grows. Communication (even if its yelling at each other from time to time) is vital.

Back to the business end, my only experience has been with Canberra Fertility Centre and they were great re: donor issues. There is no waiting list for either a local donor or o/s. So long as there are vials for the donor you have chosen available (Xytex's website is great and tells you which donors have vials available) you pretty much can get them in straight away.

Regards
V

wow, Blossom I know exactly how you feel - it was a little over 12 months ago that we found out DH had no sperm, but then we found one or two, but then during our first IVF attempt, same as you, they couldn't find any sperm during the open biopsy. We then had no option other than to go down the donor path. It's tough, and only time passing makes it better. After many ups and downs this year trying to work out where to from here, we pursued a known donor - a wonderful friend of ours - not an easy path but the right one for us. He lives abroad but will be visiting us in 2 weeks to undergo all the testing, counselling, samples, etc. We also had the option of using an anonymous donor, there is currently no waiting list but I am at Melbourne IVF which isn't much help for you.

Anyway, big hug to you. Just keep moving forward. Our children are going to be the most magical suprises, we can't even imagine.

Thanks girls for all your gorgeous messages, it fills us with hope that we will be at a place of peace with it all one day!
I think for now we will probably just look into whats involved then have a break till next year and start the whole process again.
Good luck to you all and sending lots of :bluedust: to those about to begin their journeys xx

:

---

Hi Blossom
Hugs from me too. DH and I found ourselves in exactly the same position back in 2006. We were totally devastated by the news - I wont get into it but both DH and I hit extreme lows and it took us a while to pick ourselves up again. But let me reassure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Once we had come to terms with the news (well sort of), we looked into what our options were. We decided to ask DH's brother to donate. Our thinking at the time was that if DH could not have a biological child, using his brother's sperm would at least pass on some of my DH's DNA (and therefore looks, and perhaps personality traits). I guess at the heart of it, we secretly thought we would be able to pretend that the child was DH's.

DH's brother agreed to donate but this did not eventuate (a whole drama in itself) because of various issues such as going through a custody battle with his ex partner and meeting a new partner. Anyway, we then decided to use an unknown local donor through the fertility clinic. We did not have any info about this donor other than his blood type, hair/eye colour, general interests and reasons for donating. We had one fresh and two FETs with this donor. They did not work.

Next, we decided to go with an overseas donor (via the fertility clinic). We went through Xytex Corporation in the US. We found this a much more informed process (albeit pricey - it costs us approx $500 AUS to import a vial as opposed to $200 to use a local donor)- best of all we had a photo (child and adult) of the donor that we selected. We were able to match someone with DH's physical features. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we were successful first time around with this donor.

All our phobias about the child not being DH's biological child have gone. Our child is the child that we were always meant to have. He is perfect in every way. Had it not been for this painful journey, we would never have met him.

Good luck hun, and congratulations on your 6 frosties. I am sure it wont be long before you are holding your own bubba in your arms.

xVenus

---

Hi Venus,

I have been lurking around the DS forums for quite some time now and came across your post. You mention that you went for an overseas donor through Xyex Corp in US. I registered as a basic member and was very impressed with the information provided esp the baby and adult photo. I am in WA and the fertility clinic I am with provides only very limited information about the donor. It is very important for us that the donors physical characteristics matches to my DH and not having detailed information about the donor really makes me nervous.
Did you go for the overseas donor through a fertility clinic? I am very interested to know what the process is.

Thanks v much

:

---

Hi ladies
I went through Canberra Fertility Centre. The contact for donor sperm is 'Fiona'. And yes, you can choose your own donor from the USA - I did.
Redlady, I am surprised there is a standby list for donor sperm given you can choose your own donor. I know that there is a standby list for IVF with alot of people trying to get in before the Medicare safety net issues on 1 Jan. If you are still keen to go through Canberra, I would be persistent and give them another call - speak to Fiona rather than someone at reception.
Good luck :)

---

Hi venus,

I would be on stand by as im from out of the state. They treat people within the ACT first, when they are treated then I would be treated last. Thats what I was told.

Redlady