Am I being too overprotective?

[Miss H]

DD1 is 3 yrs 7 months and started Kindy in WA yesterday. She only made the cut-off by a month so is one of the youngest in the class. If we lived in any other state she would only start school next year. She was ok when I dropped her off yesterday but when we fetched her she was very clingy and the teacher did say she cried a bit. She said it was ok and didn't say anything bad. This morning she was fine until we got into the class and then she looked at me and started crying and saying she doesn't want to stay there. She clung onto me for dear life and wouldn't let go and was just crying all the time. One of the teachers said that she had spoken to her husband about her last night as her heart breaks for her. Now to me that says that she is not coping at all if a teacher's heart breaks! They told me to leave her there and they would phone me at recess. The teacher did phone and say she was much better and not crying anymore. I just know she is not happy there and she is just soooo young. She doesn't play with other kids and is an introvert. We do go to playgroups etc. already but I wanted her to get other stimulation. I just want to take her out and keep her with me until she goes to Year 1 and can cope better.

If you got through this, you deserve a medal! Thanks for listening.

[Pandora]

is kinder the same as preschool in WA, or is it prep/year before grade 1?
Talk to the teacher maybe give it a week or so and then see how she is going.
I know more than one person who has kept their child back a year esp when they were very young to start with

[*Ang*]

My DS is a June baby and started kindy in WA today as well. In the end he was fine, but there were a couple of other children there who were quite distressed there too. I would give it a few more days before making any descions...you may find that she does come out of her shell once she becomes used to her environment.

Incidentally when my DD started kindy 2 years ago there were a couple of children whose parents had decided to hold them back a year before starting...so you wouldnt be considered abnormal if you chose to do this.

Pandora - In WA we have kindy which is for 3.5-4.5 yr olds, then pre-primary for 4.5-5.5 yr olds and then yr 1 for 5.5-.6.5 yr olds.

[Miss H]

I phoned the Dept of Education and they say it is up to the school if they want to keep her back i.e. start Kindy only next year. She will only be 16 in year 12 with the stupid WA rules! So I phoned the school that she is in and they say that their principal does not allow that. Oh hell, what do I do. I think she is too young to start. Maybe we should move interstate and have her in school when she is ready!

[Pandora]

OK, not sure what the rules are in WA

Is kindy compulsory before pre-primary or can you not go at all?

In Vic, kinder is not complusory, and is generally not part of or run by a school so that sounds different to begin with.
Here you dont have to start pre-primary at 4.5-5.5, thats just the earliest you are allowed to start. Lots of kids dont start til 5.5-6, especially kids who are born Jan-April (our cut off is april 30 here.

[*Ali*]

Miss H- Sorry this is so tough for you, I understand how hard it is. My DD started Kindy in WA yesterday too, and her birthday is the 23rd June, so she made the cut off by 7 days. Luckily for us she is more than ready to go, and has been in daycare on and off since she was 9 months old, so is ussed to being left- however, when she first started daycare we went through a similar thing.

I am also a teacher in the WA public system, and my honest advice would be not to keep her at home untill she starts year 1, you would probably find she would still have seperation anxiety even then, and she would have missed out on soo much learning. My advice would be to talk to the teacher, and ask whether she could do 1 day per week, or half days until she has settled in. Please don't make a judgement based on the first few days, it really will take a good couple of weeks for a child to get used to a new environment, especially if they are used to being at home with you. I know that it seems they are young (which they are). Early Childhood Educators are excellent at what they do, and they are able to see if a child is having trouble making friends, or joining in, and they use games and other activities to help them develop these skills.
I know your heart is breaking for your DD, but please give it a little bit more time and as hard as it is, try and not show her how you are feeling, as she will pick up on this and react too it. Good Luck!

[*Ali*]

Pandora- At present Kindy and Pre-primary are not compulsary (but there is talk about making pre-primary compulsary to try and increase literacy standards) Kindy and pre-primary class are usually run by the school and in most cases on the school site, a small number of kindies are off site, but still part of the school. If you choose not to send your child to Kindy/ preprimary the year they are supposed to go they actualley just skip it and go into the appropriate class, you can not choose to keep your child back a year.

[Pandora]

Pandora- At present Kindy and Pre-primary are not compulsary (but there is talk about making pre-primary compulsary to try and increase literacy standards). If you choose not to send your child to Kindy/ preprimary the year they are supposed to go they actualley just skip it and go into the appropriate class, you can not choose to keep your child back a year.

Oooh. Thanks for the clarification, its very different then. Prep/pre primary is compulsory here but you can choose to start a year later.

Its interesting that it can differ so much per state, and yet they (goct) seek to compare schools against each other so much.