Great point Cailin! But having said that...

DS thinks fruit is called a something-please (like a grape-please or an apple-please) because that's what we say: Would you like a grape-please?

We don't give him chocolate, but then we don't have any treat food, only food. "You're hungry? OK, gingerbread-please or apple-please? An apple-please? OK, Mammy will chop it up for you. Thank you Mammy, good girl." (Why should DS be good boy and no-one else be good?)

I agree that this should be down to parents, but our generation and our children's generation don't always have the input they need from parents. We all know children from our own childhood, not to mention the ones we see nowadays, without manners. We need it reinforced at school, not taught. We need to know that you don't call names or push, be it at home or school. That you do say please and thank you, and that your teacher will call you back and expect it if you forget it!

I'm not perfect and have had to re-examine a lot of my own habits since having DS just so he gets the right ideas from the start. It amazes me that other parents don't want to advantage their children as much as it amazes me that being able to say thank you is an advantage. Something has to be done but certainly before senior school level.

DS is re-inforced at Nursery that he uses knives and forks to eat. But we started that at home, as expected! Nursery re-inforce gentle playing and words like thank you - but we started it, as expected! (Although I am really pleased that DS can pet animals gently now, and one of the local cats no longer runs from him!)

I still think we should be aiming higher for our children though. Don't AIM for saying thank you - expect it. Aim for asking the old woman over the road if she needs a hand with her shopping/rubbish/gardening. And lead by example. Don't AIM for a child reading a book for school - expect it. Aim for the child discussing it with you, learning from it and reading more at home for pleasure rather than as a chore.

I dunno. Maybe I'm expecting too much of today's parents, many of whom are too tired to fight with children after working 50-hour weeks. But if we start young then there won't be a fight. I just think someone has to raise the bar and that someone should be the parents, who after all should be parenting the children, not the secondary school.

It has gotten to a bad state if teachers are saying they need more work!