I guess it depends on what your options are. Do you have the ability to look and place him in different care? Could this be more trouble than the current situation?

Or do you feel comfortable addressing the situation with the carer? Knowing what you do of her, what do you think the chances of your conversation changing the situation are?

Clearly you are not happy with the current situation. I think if you are going to talk to her you need to phrase it very carefully. I think Sunshine is right in making it about your DS and his behaviours, not about her DS. If you make it about her DS then it will likely go pear shaped. However, Mums are not stupid and she will probably know where he is getting these behaviours from.

Hope it goes well.