How much responsibility lies with parents and teachers?

[nic]

Just wanted to start a discussion about school children, and how much responsibility you believe lies with ourselves as parents and how much with teachers?
I was having a chat with someone this week, who mentioned how angry she was that her son was having to go to tutoring at school, after hours, at a small cost to her and her hubby, (schools suggestion for him to have tutoring, their choice to say yes or no, and I believe, it was about $36 for 4 sessions) and then to top it all off, she was expected to go along to the tutoring session and learn herself, some tips etc, on how to help her child out with their reading difficulties.

I thought it was great that the (public) school (same one my DD attends) is going to the length to have after school tutoring, and to also offer support to the parents, but the mother said that she already knew how to read, and knew the tips they were going to give her as she had already gone through it with their first child!

It really got to me, they believe that the responsibility rests solely with the teachers and the school, if their son (grade 6 I believe, and a couple of years behind in reading) is lagging in his reading or other school work, they completely blame the school and the teacher for that year.

Don't we have some responsibility towards our children to also teach them?

Am I being too judgemental about them believing it is "totally the schools fault",when I believe they should also be accepting responsibility and not just placing blame elsewhere?

Nic

[HotKim]

I believe that parent involvement in anything the child does is of great benefit to BOTH parties.

What's interesting about the mother you speak of is that she agreed to the tutoring then complains. She says she has the skills they want to teach her but she hasn't yet utilised them with this child. I don't understand why a parent would complain about a schools effort to educate their child especially when, despite her knowledge, she has been unable to help him.

Some parents really need to step up to the plate instead of yelling from behind it.

[JadeLil]

I agree Nic, it is the job of both the school and the parents to work together as partners for the sake of each child's education. I think after hours tutoring provided by the school is a fantastic idea and more schools should follow suit. Some parents these days seem so selfish and don't want to help their children reach their full potential!! I understand that of course it may be difficult for some working parents to attend tutoring if it is straight after school, but maybe the school could work with these parents to offer an alternative if they cannot make the tutoring after school.

[Erin_25]

It believe & this is just IMO (coming from a teaching family)....it all starts at home. You teach your child yourself until the age at which they get sent to school. Some kids start school/kindy not even knowing what letter their name starts with. As parents we are supposed to guide & teach our children & frankly I get sick of all the blame being put on teachers & all of the responsibility...yet when it's something the "parent" doesn't agree with then all of a sudden it's "they shouldn't teach them that"!! It starts & continues at home. Teachers have guidlines etc that the follow & things that they teach...yes they need to teach properly & some may not be as good as others but it doesn't stop when the child gets home. We still need to read to our children, encourage learing & education. And teach them what we feel & believe so they grow knowing what it is we feel they should & grow into the adults we hope they will be - if that makes sense. Teachers do hold responsibility, but I dont believe as much as the parents...we had the children they are ours not the schools IYKWIM.

[MantaRay]

Well said Erin. I think learning is a partnership, but the primary responsibility lies with the parents. It is up to us as parents to ensure that our child is in the right learning environment, that their learning needs are being met, and to make up the shortfall from what they are learning outside the home (in some cases this might be academic, but will also cover a range of things like manners, morals, ettiquette, maybe religion, etc etc). You don't just send a child to school and wash your hands of them. You need to be communicating with the school to know what is being taught, how it is being taught and how your child is responding and learning.

[krysalyss]

I agree with what has already been said. It is a joint responsibility.
Additionally, how can you expect a teacher who has 30 something children to look after, to know your child and their needs better than you do? Personally, I love spending that time with my son and am actually looking forward to the whole formal learning process. I think learning whether in primary school or university is very similar. The school introduces the concepts, topics and the 'know how' - you need to go away and learn to use them in a variety of ways so they are relevant to you and your life. I think that is where the parent can play a huge,important role in the learning process.

[Pretty Butterfly]

Ditto what everyone has said, and that school is fab!!

And that mum needs a smack up the head!!

Taylah has always received extra help with reading, and always been a group thing with us and the teachers. She treis so hard, as do we, but it is taking some time, poor doll.

As she fell under the benchmark last year, she received a grant for $700 worth of tutoring, that I will also attend, at the school, after hours. And I am stoked!!!

How could anyone complain of someone helping YOU and your child...