. . . Today there was another incident. The incident reports (I have quite a collection now) don't say who the biter is but I already know since I've seen the culprit in action biting another girl (who was just sitting down minding her own business) and DD1 names her anyway. Actually when the carer was saying that "another child bit her" today, DD1 identified her in front of everyone lol.
This has happened more times than I can count, and one of the carers has even tried to insinuate that its my daughters fault, saying she "stands too close to the other children" etc. Yet she's never had any problems with other kids but this girl has bitten other children before! They're in the 2-3 age room and the biter is one of the youngest aparently. These aren't little bites either, we're talking broken skin and bruising that lasts WEEKS. Todays incident report says that it was DD1s fault for "climbing over the other child".
I'm tired of this happening and I'm tired of their victim blaming! The parents handbook states that if a child is being violent towards other children and the problem isn't being resolved that child will be removed from the centre. How many times does my toddler have to come home with bruises before enough is enough? Apart from this problem it's a great centre, she has friends there and I don't really want to move her but they're just not addressing this at all.
The child who did the biting should get an accident report as well.
DS used to bite and we had to sign the reports when it happened.
I would ask the director about it - I would have been horrified if they had not told us that he was doing it, how would we know to do something about it?
I don't know if the parents are notified, only the carer who witnessed the incident and the supervising carer sign. From what I hear her parents are aware that there's a problem but to what extent I have no idea.
ooh i just saw the age group, thats a lot more serious than younger kids (mine was under 2) as they are a lot more aware of what they are doing, and often much more verbal
The bites sound pretty bad to draw blood and leave bruising.
Id take issue with it, tell them even if your child did do something (not that Im suggesting she did) where is their behaviour management policy - biting is not an appropriate reaction and they should be working with the child's parents.
as much as it isnt nice it is fairly common for toddlers to go through a biting stage i doubt it is done as a malisious act. perhaps chat with your DD about it saying that is she sees XYZ coming to go play else where, give your DD some tools to protect her self.
can you change days your dd is in childcare to when the biter isnt there?
Definatley have a talk with the director to see what they are doing as well to protect your child not only from the biting but to ensure there is not transmission of bodily fluids from the biter.
Neenee - that's a really tough one for you. There is biter in my DS's room, and having seen him in action with other kids, I'd have to say he's one of the nastiest 2yo's I've ever met - and I have to kind of disagree with Oorki, with this kid it is totally obvious that he's being malicious at times. And in our case, it's rather sad, as it's also obvious that the carers in the room have to manage him, but they don't particularly like him, he's just a very difficult child all round. Obviously, they can't give up on him, nor would I expect them to, but I also think that as the parent of a generally non-offending child, we at least have the advantage that the problem is being acknowledged, and not blamed on the kids that are the victims. And yes - we too have had bruises from bites that have lasted up to a week, and broken skin. Have no solutions really, although I am happy to help DS learn to stand up for himself - he's very good at saying "no biting Axxxx, that's not nice", or even "go away Axxx" when necessary. This hasn't been prompted per se, it's developed from his conversations, but a bit of assertive role playing maybe doesn't go astray - as an adult, I won't accept bullying behaviour towards me, so can't see why my 2yo should just have to put up with it either.
It's awful isn't it? Biting is such a frustrating thing, we've had our share of serial biters at my centre, thing is they are usually sly, you can watch them like a hawk and the second you turn your back to help someone, bang, there they go again.
It's a really difficult thing to deal with in the childcare situation - our hands are tied as to what we can do, Accreditation now has decided that we aren't even permitted to use time out as a behavioural management strategy - so what are we meant to do? It's so upsetting to the child, the child's parents, the staff and most of the time, the biter's parents are horrified too. I know how sick we all feel when the biter has bitten the same child yet again.
I am not by any means dismissing your feelings, you have every right to feel how you do, and yes, the parent of the biter should be informed every single time that the biting occurs. And behvioural mangement strategies developed, but as discussed above, just what they can be is in question.
Most biting occurs in the toddlers group, so by the 2-3 room, I would think this age should be growing out of the behaviours and really understand right from wrong.
my child keeps getting bitten at daycare ...
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