I don't think your being unreasonable, in all honesty I think the issue lies with what she expects from him and the way she goes about it.
Sending snarly notes home is not going to help things. Pushing you to have your child assessed is not going to change things.
It doesn't sound like she is very "adaptable".
When I was having issues with DS1's teacher, we organised for a meeting after school. DH and I set out to her what our expectations were, both of our son, and what we expected from her, as the teacher. We then set some mutual goals for DS1 to achieve and had a genersl conversation about the curriculum, what's expected of that grade level student etc. Since the meeting DS1 has been a different kid at school, and the teacher has adapted to meet his needs as well.
I highly recommend sitting down and having a chat with the teacher as a starting point.
I think sometimes as parents we can be emotional about issues concerning our kids. We have every right to. It is our maternal instinct to protect. Not saying that you are being unreasonable, just sometimes we don't see the whole picture.
Am I right in thinking that he had numerous spelling activities he could choose from to complete his spelling and he didn't choose any of them? Hence him having to complete two spelling activities at home? I do think there are some tasks children need to complete and should not always be able to move on and be 'rewarded' by getting out of it IYKWIM. Have you spoken to him about it and why he didn't complete it?
I would maybe organise a meeting with the teacher. Try and get to the bottom of why he is choosing not to complete his activities at school. What techniques she uses to try and get him to complete tasks. You may find she has gone through a range of strategies with him and he still didn't complete it in that time so she has sent it home to do. If she hasn't gone through a range of strategies and just let him sit there, then that is very poor on her part.
I also highly doubt the teacher didn't prompt the class to hand in their homework. I know I can stand up the front and say 3 times has everyone bought their homework in and notes, lunch orders, etc. and there will be kids that hand it in at the end of the day because they forgot they had it in their bag even though I have asked 3-5 times! This does teachers heads in! There is only so many times you can ask.
Again I don't know this teacher, I am just trying to see it from the other side as well.
Hopefully you can get to the bottom of it so that your little man is happy at school once again.
Organise an interview with the teacher and the year level coordinator. Let them know you want to talk about ways both sides can help your son.
Sometimes talking things through is enough to give you both ideas of how to deal with difficult situations. Sometimes a whole different approach is needed.
Having him assessed is not going to solve how he learns and if she is not going to teach accordingly then there is no reason to have him assessed.
Mmmm, I think it's worth a chat that you and your DH attend with his teacher.
I think to leave him sit there without prompting at all is unacceptable.
We are going through the same assessment with our DS2 at the moment. ADD/ADHD was mentioned this morning at our Paed Appt. She referred me to the Raising Childrens Network webiste and I have found it very infomative and helpful.
My DS2's teacher is aware of issues with him, in fact she rasied them with us in a meeting, she is helpful and often is thinking of ways to help him work better, including asking him if he would like to wear head phones to block out distractions. They have also had the literacy coach come in and help.
Like your DS he is smart, clever and on the ball with most things, his attention on the other hand is terrible and has been known to sit there and not do anything when asked to do set tasks. Not for wanting not to do the task, rather he has forgotten what to do when he got there and has not asked for help. When he has been offered the help and reminded, he will get on with whatever is asked.
As Rivlas has mentioned, having the assement will not change his behaviour, it will however give your teacher tools to teach correctly and bring in extra help if needed, that's my thinking anyway and was mentioned by the Paed this morning.
How old is he? I still have to prompt my DS2 to change his books over, remember to put in lunch orders and just generally remind him of most things about school most days. He is Grade 1 (6yrs turning 7yrs).
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