When to start School

[Astrid]

That was really good to listen to.

I had no choice when to send DD1 and thankfully it so far seems to be working for her. She is about the middle age wise and the upper end for reading etc.

DD2 is different. She just makes the cut off, so I could have sent her to kinder this year, rather than next year when she is going. I feel it is right for her and so do others who work in that area. Sadly though I still cop it that I am sending her "late", when I really see it as sending her "on time". To me she would have lost a year to have sent her at the first opportunity (there is almost 3 year between her and DD1, to send her sooner would mean only 2 years between them at school).
I am breathing a sigh of relief after listening to the podcast, as it helped confirm that we have made the right decision for DD2.

We do have huge childcare expenses, but for me that was never a factor in when to send her, but I can see how it could be. I would love to be saving some of that money (not all of it saving, some is offset against school fees, vacation care, providing packed lunches etc). The money is just not worth the issues that would arise by sending her early.

[jackrose]

But IMO, kids are little for such a short time, I think we should keep them little for as long as it's possible, and by keeping them home, not going to formal school institutions at 4 1/2 or just 5 years old, they remain that little bit more innocent and 'baby' for a little bit longer. A year is nothing in the grand scheme of their lives, but at this time of their lives (when they are 4 and 5) it could be everything.

This is exactly what I am thinking. (As well as agreeing with the rest of your excellent post! )
I was frustrated when I realised that DD2 was 10 days past the cut off date and was already showing all the signs of being ready for the next stage. She has the whole second child thing of rushing to keep up/catch up and seems to be so much more advanced than DD1 was at her age. However, when I thought about it, I realised that although it was a frustrating thought that I would have another whole year trying to find care for her or being limited by not being back in the workforce, it was a blessing in disguise as I had more time for her to develop a wider range of skills she will need through out life. I keep thinking that in the scheme of things, this is such a short time of her/our life and such an important one. I am glad that I am able to leave the hurry for school for later and give her a chance to leap into it with both feet and a confident spirit later.

Whsiwyg - I think you make a very good point about the rock and the hard place we find ourselves in with regards to the costs of care and being out of the work force. Our system/society is not really well set up to support young families and early education. Kathy also made the point on the podcast, that the cost of childcare is prohibitive to many families and is part of the decision to send children to school. I feel really lucky that I am able to be out of the workforce and be open to DD2 starting school later - I know not everyone has that luxury of choice.

Astrid - I'm so glad that podcast helped confirm your choice. It is such a difficult decision, even when it is an easy one and can leave you with such conflicting thoughts. I'm sorry though that you have negative feedback from others. I think sometimes people reflect their own sensitivities regarding the issue on to you when it comes to school age readiness, as if your decision to hold back says something about their decision to send their child. Really, it is up to each individual and their own family circumstances. I just think that information like this from Kathy is imperative when making such decisions.

[wysiwyg]

Can I ask what ages you started school and how do you think it affected your schooling? You see I was 4 years and 3 months when I started and I adored school and did very well academically, and don't feel that early start has impacted adversely at all (my experiences also don't tally with the older you are the better you cope, have resilience be a leader etc as I would have been in the youngest third of my year group but frequently was in leadership positions and so were others similar age and those in the first third of the year group the only area I remember them excelling at particularly was sport as the extra physical size helped) So my experience gives me the opposite view in that DD is missing out by not having that extra year at school because I loved it so much - and I don't really get that school makes them grow up any more quickly than anything else. I realize she is not me and may be different - but at 3.5 she is already very keen to go to school, is in the oldest room at CC and is going to be in there for two more years. DS might be different can't tell yet but I know my mum has always said my brother would have benefited from an extra year at home (not possible in the UK), and from her experience in a nursery school that many boys would have.

Lots of UK friends often ask me (especially as they are all enrolling their first-borns to start Sep 2013) - why do they start so late here? I need to work out how to answer that one. Are UK kids who all start before there 5th birthday so different from kids here, are they negatively affected or is it that the first year in school in UK is less formal than here? I suppose I also struggle with the idea that is better to send them later but is ok for them to be at CC which seems to me, to becoming more and more like 'school' anyway (is vastly different from home environment IMO).

Really my issues are driven by how it gels with trying to be in the workforce, if I could stay home despite my love of school as a child I would be more than happy with the later start - and things like when starting school lots of schools they don't go in on a Wednesday for the first term - how if you are working (part-time or full-time) are you meant to deal with that? Was it really so bad that when I went to school we started 5 days a week 9:00 till 15:30 straight away - and then most had never been in childcare so away from parents for much time.

Maybe school is vastly different from how I remember it, seeing as it is regarded as so formal, and such a big jump and from what I saw of the 'graduation' from kinder room at CC last week such a massive deal is made of starting it (doesn't this in itself put pressure onto children?).

[*EJ*]

I made the decision to hold my DS1 back. If i had sent him to school this year he would have turned 5 approx 10 days before he began school and in my heart and mind i just couldn't do that. He is a very bright boy, very outgoing and in many ways 'seemed' well and truely ready to go to school but i knew from working at a PS myself -i'm not a teacher- and speaking to teachers i heard numerous times how benificial it is to hold them back if possible for the social/emotional side of things. My mind was made up when i booked him in for 3 year old kinder (he turned 4 just proir to beginning 3 year old).

DS2 is different in many ways to DS1, not as confident and outgoing in new and unknown situations. I had him in one day a week of care this year and it took him up until the beginnnig of the 3rd term to come out of his shell and even mutter a word. I was seriously beginning to consider taking him out and just keeping him home with me but at the same time knew it was probably the best for him socially and emotionally to be there. He is a March baby, he will be 4 this coming year and he is just about to begin 3 year old kinder and he has given me the clear signs that this is just what he needs.

THEN i have my DD, the decision hasn't been as easy with her because i have also heard many times how girls are that little more mature. And she is one clever little thing who has done her absolute best (and succeeded) in keeping up with her brothers. So she'll turn 3 at the end of next year and i could send her on to 3 year old kinder but i'd kind of be going against my belief so far. Just this week i handed in her 3yr old kinder application and i put her down for 2015 (she'll be 4) and listening to that podcast has just helped me feel confident in my decision (i was before but even more so now).

wysiwyg i understand what you're saying about having to struggle with childcare fees. My boys both attended FDC but once DD had arrived i knew i was going to have to be home permanently as 3 in care was not possible. It's not easy but we had no other option.

I started school at 4 yrs and 8 months but i had a different expereince to wysiwyg. Obviously it comes down to the individuals themselves aswell. I struggled academicaly and was held back in grade 3, my self esteem, confidence and abilty to feel i had a place was very low, especially after staying back. So this too has a lot to do with my decision for my kids.

Thanks for the link Jackrose it was a really interesting and informative listen

[jackrose]

I don't personally remember too much about my starting school or have a feeling either way about how I coped in school, but then I am a Jan baby, right in the middle of the age bracket and right on 5 when starting school. I also think a lot of other factors would have contributed to my school readiness (or not being ready, whatever the case my have been) such as my position in the family, quality of preschool education, the parenting philosophy of my parents, my general personality etc… one of the points Kathy made in the podcast really resonated with me on this - it is not really about one size fits all. She states that she takes each child at their merit when assessing them for school readiness and prefers not to know their age but purely judge them as they present. I think the crux is, that it really depends on each child. There are certainly reasons to send a child to school just as much as there are reasons to keep them back another year. It is a decision we need to make with the teachers and carers of our children with a lot of different things in mind.

As for the difference between school here and in the UK, I honestly don't know wysiwyg. I can only make decisions based on what I know here as this is my experience, but I can understand how confusing it must be to have quite differing opinions, start ages and possibly schooling systems to have to compare. FWIW, I do think there are many instances where 'younger' children cope really well with school and you were obviously one of them. I think there are also a lot of good teachers out there who can make a huge difference for some children who might otherwise struggle. So many factors to consider and weigh up.

[HotI]

I have an april baby and a jan baby and not sure what i will be doing yet. DD is starting 3 year old kinder next year, and i have the option of 2 years of 3 year old kinder or into 4 year old kinder following year. so far no formal childcare, and i think she is ready to spend some time away from me.

i know that i, and 3/4 of my siblings, were often bored at school and so i don't want dd to get bored because she then finds her own entertainment. however, one sibling was a March baby and would have benefited from an extra year before starting. I am just going to see what happens next year before making a decision.

[Astrid]

The podcast did say the UK is one of the earliest starters. So rather than asking "why is Aus so late?", which it is not in comparison to other countries, it is early. The question is "why is the UK so early?"

I spoke to DH after I posted last night and asked if he could see DD2 in a school uniform next year. He pretty much said no way. Now people could take that as her being behind etc, but she is far from it, she is just plain to young to be going to primary school next year. Watching her with the other kids at Kinder orientation, she seemed "just right" with most of them.

I don't recall much about when I started school, but more the later years. In yr 12 I was turning 18, whilst many kids were turning 18 in the following May, reflecting now I can see the differences in just that one year at the end of schooling.

I do love that the podcast said that finishing school is not a race/competition and think that is something we need to keep in mind when it comes to our children.