Anyone else practice elimination communication?(LONG)
...sometimes referred to as 'nappy free'?
I first heard a reference to elimination communication when DD was 5 weeks old. I was at a caf? with a pregnant friend. At one point, she said something along the lines of 'that's if we decide to use nappies'. She continued talking and I remember thinking 'no nappies?, how can you not use nappies?' but the discussion had moved on and I didn't seek clarification. I had always thought that there were only two choices. Cloth or disposables, and I am definitely on the side of cloth. I now know that there is a third choice ? elimination communication or 'nappy free'.
I began practicing elimination communication (EC) with DS1 at birth. The benefits of EC are numerous, and include ? it is better for the environment than full-time use of disposables and cloth; no nappy rash for bub; greater closeness and communication between parent and child; less washing than cloth nappy use; cheaper than disposable nappy use; greater freedom and mobility for the baby.
EC is about tuning in to your baby, and recognising when they need to eliminate. All babies are born with an innate awareness of their elimination - it doesn't just fall out of them without their knowledge!! Basically, we train our babies to use their nappies as a toilet place. Babies have no desire to soil themselves, and sit around in wet or pooey nappies. From birth, babies will give off detectable signs or signals that they are going to eliminate. As a newborn, DS1 would wriggle and squirm, then build up to a cry as they peed.He would keep crying until he was dry again. If we do not respond to the signalling, eventually a baby will stop attempting to communicate this need and will, consequently, become conditioned to eliminating in a nappy.
From birth, we made a cueing sound, 'pssss', whenever we noticed that DS1 was eliminating (it helps to give your baby some time out of a nappy each day so that you can observe this). At 2 weeks of age, we began holding him over a bucket or sink and making the cueing sound whenever we thought he needed to eliminate. We would hold him in a supported squat position, our hands under his thighs and his back against our chest. Gradually, this sets up an understanding between parent and baby, and the baby knows that you will respond. We were peed on lots of times at the start. It can feel a bit like trial and error at times, but once we had developed confidence in our ability to recognise his signs, we were hooked! He knew that the positioning and the 'pssss' sound were our way of saying 'we know you need to eliminate'. If he looked disinterested or arched his back, that was his way of saying 'no', so we would cease. If he relaxed, we knew that we had read his signals correctly, and a pee or poo was imminent.
There are lots of different ways of practicing EC. Some people go 'all or nothing' and rarely ? if ever- use nappies. Other people take a part-time approach so that their baby wears a nappy at night or during outings. Other parents just catch the occasional elimination. If you know that your baby is going to poo, why not hold her over a potty or toilet instead of watching her struggle to poo in a tight nappy while lying down? No mess to clean off their bodies either, just straight down the loo! One less nappy to wash (or buy)! The majority of the world's babies don't wear nappies. These days, parents in the West have become reliant on nappy use for a longer period of time than previous generations, with some children still in nappies at 3 and 4 years of age.
Some people mistake this method for early toilet training. That couldn't be further from the truth. EC is about listening to your baby, responding to their needs in the moment, and setting up a line of communication and trust. There is no coercion or punishment involved whatsoever. Sometimes I would be distracted and I miss the signals but most of the time I was in tune with him. The point is to maintain communication and help the baby to maintain an awareness of their body's elimination needs.
DS2 is 10 weeks old. He wears MCN's but whenever I recognise his signals I remove his nappy and hold him over a plastic container (that we call his 'potty'). By the time he was 10 days old, I realised that I recognised his signals. I was sick with mastitis and wasn't even looking for the signals. He was wearing gorgeous MCN's and I had planned to start EC with him when he was a few weeks old. But it was hard for me to tune out from that once I knew - he would make such a distinctive noise, and I would imitate that noise as the cue (rather than using 'pssss' as we had with DS1).
Chandra, I have found your resources very useful! I used to be on the yahoo group. Nice to meet up with you here. I have found it so much easier second time around. I have also read a couple of the books, Diaper Free and the original nappy free 'bible', can't think what it is called now.
I feel as though I can't ignore Rowan's signals even if I wanted to! However, I am a bit more relaxed than I was with DS1. I used to stop the car and pee him by the side of the road or do the mad dash behind a tree if we were out. But I find that a little trickier with 2 other kids in tow. So we are getting some good use out of our MCN's too. However, we are catching most poos, and we are doing it at night too.
Tinkerbell, EC is a different philosophy to toilet training but I suppose it was a natural progression to independent tolilet use. My DS1 still needs me to wipe his bottom. But by the age of 2 years and 5 months he was staying dry during the day and using the potty or toilet without us having to 'remind' him . Prior to that we were still offering him opportunities to use the potty. He is 2y 7m & still wears a nappy at night. I don't know when he would have stopped wearing nappies if we had gone the more 'traditional' way. My daughter was conventionally TT and she started using a potty at 22months, and was out of nappies during the day at the same age as DS1. However, having him out of nappies 'early' was not necessarily a goal for me. I loved the communication that we shared and I loved being able to directly and immediately meet a need for him. Plus save on washing nappies!
There were frustrating times too, such as when he went on a 'potty strike' at 10 months. This coincided with his ability to walk, so that is all he was focused on and he didn't signal as clearly or even want to go on his potty. Frustrating at first, but then I backed off completely. The 'potty strike' lasted a few months but then we were back on track.
I'm sure Chandra could add a lot more, she has much more experience and knowledge than I do (and a great web site).
I want to give EC a shot. DD is 14 months and I've had enough... of nappy rash that never goes away. Nothing I do helps to make it better. And I'm sick of people telling me to try this or that, it worked overnight for their little one... well, it doesn't for mine! Her skin is super sensitive and NOTHING I have tried works except letting her run around home without a nappy on (and pee all over the place, and get sick from the cold... grrrh!).
We started her in disposables at birth and she had constant nappy rash. Then we switched to cloth. It was good for a while - during the warmer months when I would put the nappy on without a cover - but now in the cooler months the great beast named "nappy rash" is back, and I am completely fed up. For a while when her bottom was going well in cloth, she was happy and co-operative during nappy changes, but now it has gone back to having us both in tears and angry at nappy changes, and it being this big battle between us. Time for a change.
I'd love any support or tips you have to offer. I know because she is older it is going to be harder... but I've got to do something.
Anyone else practice elimination communication?(LONG)
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Practicing Elimination Communication
I used to be on the yahoo group. Nice to meet up with you here. I have found it so much easier second time around. I have also read a couple of the books, Diaper Free and the original nappy free 'bible', can't think what it is called now.
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