Can you become a "people person"?

[danniellabella]

I think it's all got to do with your confidence. I find myself that if I'm feeling really confident then I'm a lot more outgoing, but if my confidence and self esteem has taken a hit then I become very introverted. I'm a lot more introverted now than I was in my early 20's.

[lissy]

Arimeh's Eden Im a bit the same. Ive never been able to stand up and speak my mind in front of people right from school age. I would literally feel my heart beating out of my chest.

I was really stuck when I got together with DF coz he is a complete Hermit!! he has actually adopted all of my friends & will chat to some of the girls as much as I do lol.

I find I have the biggest problem saying no to people now & standing up for myself with people Im not comfortable around. Toomanyshoes Im overweight too & I think this does have a bit to do with it, but I also reached out to a few people I admired at one stage in my hobby and was just so greatful they were prepared to spend their time on me when all of a sudden they dropped me like a hot potato coz a certain 'friend' of mine had spitefully 'warned' them off of me Now THAT was a huge kick in the teeth for me & my confidence. I no longer have that friend and my confidence has improved heaps that I don't rely on other people to help me socialize.

I think you have to put yourself in the situation first, there's no easy way to do it, and you become more comfortable over time the more you do it. I find I don't make many friends through work, however have lifetime friends through my hobby .

[~Kim~]

My story is similar to Kaytee's.
I used to be so shy I could not hold a conversation. I far preferred to be invisible. I did not like people noticing me.
When I went to uni I chose a different course and uni to all my other friends. Not to be different, but that was just the way it went. So I had to make friends and stretch my zone a bit.
Then I got posted 6hours away from home, and heck, I was a nurse, I kinda had to speak to people, and strangers at that. I don't know how but it just kinda happened. I was doing something I loved to do so it wasn't so noticeable.
Then I joined the cops and well duh, have to be able to speak and be social for that job. One thing that changed me forever though was the self defence and forcing myself to look forward rather than at the ground (cops do this for safety but it's amazing how many people will smile back if you shoot them a smile). The boost in the "I can" (because I had to but that's by the by), really made a difference to me.
I went on to train a large group of often unknown cops.....

Anything that will boost your "I can" feelings will help. I found toastmasters a help when I was a kid too. A course in something you love, or even something you think is interesting to boost your belief in you. Something that makes you feel good (you know that brand new haircut invincibility?).
Then take that and smile at 5 people...5 strangers.
Practice that a little while, days/weeks and then move on to say hello to 5 people. Random people. You'll be surprised at how many will chat back.
I don't think there is an easy/comfortable way to do it. But a conscious "I want to beat this, I can do it" attitude will help stretch your boudaries.

[Cherished]

Hi girls, I am the total opposite of shy. But I have other challenges in life. I think whether you are shy or have some other challenge you wish to overcome the trick is practice and before you know it you'll be a changed woman So perhaps start small, have some friend over to your house where you feel comfortable and practice speaking up. Then you can extend that to attending social functions at your friends house with some people you don't know that well. Find the least intimidating person there and strike up a conversation with them. Even if you only get to "hello" it's a start. I'm sure you'll find that most people start talking back to you after a smile and and a "hi" and will be friendly especially if you are a a mutual friends house.