Thanks for the replies. Pixie I gotta spread the love, but your post was right on the money. I think the whole idea of 'choice' in childbirth is a bit of a misnomer.

There are so many variables, it is impossible to plan for each one. I do not think women should just take what they get though, but as pixie suggested there needs to be closer collaboration between patient and care providers.

My sister is a care provider and seriously she us overworked enough without having to forge meaningful relationships with every patient, but I think this is inherently part if the problem. We have systematized health to such an extent there are major gaps between expectation and reality. Women in labour need special care, new mums need special care, and yet so often they are left feeling like they recieved substandard care. Some of this can be attributed to high expectations, but seriously some if it is just substandard care (like kate07's case).

If we just take the expectations angle, then I can see why people would question why we build these expectations in the first place? But the same could be said for any group fighting for their rights, somehow we feel things could be better, despite being systematically told they have to be this way. Feminists and civil rights activists spring to mind...both were told they 'needed' the shackles of their oppression, but somehow they fought against it, and no doubt there were those who found it easier just to accept the status quo and stay within their gendered\racialised roles. Does this mean change should not be sought, or expectations changed?

Part of agitating for our rights is the process of confronting the position of being oppressed, and I think bellybelly does this to people. It shows them that the stance if natural birth and breastfeeding is oppressed in general society (gee just look at the daily telegraph), but of course this means it appears to only advocate these things, which is not entirely true, but it makes it hard for many people to navigate their way through their own experiences in comparison to many here on BB.

Typing on phone with breastfeeding toddler, hope that makes sense...