I really love the quote too!

It makes me wonder though about really old or deep hurts that are so built into our identity that to heal them is to loose a part of ourselves.

I am thinking of my mum, who has a huge fortress around ideas of abandonment...but this fortress is so ingrained she would not recognize herself without it. We have talked at length about it, and it seems the abandoned child is integral to how she imagines herself.

I know most people want to heal their hurts, but some seem to feed off them itms?