I've been trying really hard over the last year to not feed off my hurt, to take a step away from those things I identified with in the past. To heal my heart and my soul.

One of my biggest things was approval from my father figure, now I've gotten to the point that I know he loves me, he just doesn't have to approve of everything I do. Last night was a big turning point with that, I showed him the latest artwork on my body and he wasn't impressed, but I said to him that it is my way of expressing things in my life, of how I show how I've gotten through things, or things I'm proud of. I think he was surprised by that, because I've spent most of my life trying to please him and I didn't apologise for the artwork. I realised that the energy I spent trying to please the family should have been spent on pleasing myself, know who I was as a person and becoming that person, not being defined by what the family thinks I should be. I don't fit in with a lot of my blood family, never have and probably never will.

I had a reconnection treatment a few weeks ago and things have started to sort themselves out, it is like the hurts of the past are like onion skins and they're peeling away.