Do you need/want a partner???

[Inanna]

I ask this as I see around me Women fairly newly single just pining after male/female relationships. I feel different sometimes as I just couldn't give a flying fratooshy...

I feel content on my own. I love being on my own. I love making my decisions, directing my life, caring for and supporting my kids, love my girlfriends - I feel trly happy!

What is it with this need to have a man around? Am I wierd? Am I in denial? Am I missing something?
I just don't get it!

[Sopdet]

I'm not newly single, but I'm starting to get into the headspace that I want a more permanent partner. I don't need to have a man around. There are few more things I need to do for me before I will fully be in the headspace of "if a man comes into my life, then I am ready".

No you're not missing anything Inanna and you're not wierd or in denial. We're at different points in our life, I'd like a family now, you have an amazing family

[kirsty_lee]

Inanna, after the way your relationship broke down and the events that followed I am not suprised your content on your own kwim? I think for some women they really can't be alone, which isn't a bad thing I don't think. Different strokes for different folks. But then I think there are alot of other people who really are content not having to 'answer' to someone else and make your own decisions. I guess some people are just more capable of being independant than others. I don't think it's a bad thing not to need having someone around, shows your independant and can stand on your own too feet and imo, stronger in alot of ways especially when your a single mother!

[Trillian]

OK, as you know I do have a husband LOL, but I think that you do reach a point when you need different things from life kwim? I know with my Mum, when her partner passed away a few months ago it was the first time she was single since she was 19 and she is 53 because she moved out a dead marriage with my father straight into the relationship with her partner, so all of her adult life has been spent with someone else in it and we were talking about it a little while ago and she said that she just can't see herself ending up with anyone else - not because he was the great love of her life and no one can replace him, but because she just doesn't feel that she needs someone in her life now. But by the same token I know of others who have separated and at the time they needed to be single to regain their identity, especially those that were in long relationships/marriages and once they were confident in who this 'new' person was they were ready to let other people into their life again ITMS.

[Lulu]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmm. Hmmm.

Well I know I don't need one.

KL, I don't disagree with you, but I do think that anyone (man or woman) who believes they need one or cannot be alone are doing themselves a great disservice. I think if you can't stand on your own two feet alone - how can you really know? We all have strengths and weaknesses and parts of ourselves that are enhanced by having a partner for sure - but to assume you can't be alone is kinda sad.....and potentially dangerous iykwim?
Although you (collective) might prefer a partner or feel better for having one is 1 thing - knowing you are not going to DIE because you don't have one is another.

I dunno, I think sometimes it depends on what your definition of a partner is. I think a long time ago I thought a partner was supposed to be everything I wanted them to be. Now - I look at everything both people can bring to the table, and if I want someone to bring a certain amount of whatever to the table I want to bring that too.

and for me right now? I can't be arsed

[kirsty_lee]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmm. Hmmm.

Well I know I don't need one.

KL, I don't disagree with you, but I do think that anyone (man or woman) who believes they need one or cannot be alone are doing themselves a great disservice. I think if you can't stand on your own two feet alone - how can you really know? We all have strengths and weaknesses and parts of ourselves that are enhanced by having a partner for sure - but to assume you can't be alone is kinda sad.....and potentially dangerous iykwim?
Although you (collective) might prefer a partner or feel better for having one is 1 thing - knowing you are not going to DIE because you don't have one is another.

I dunno, I think sometimes it depends on what your definition of a partner is. I think a long time ago I thought a partner was supposed to be everything I wanted them to be. Now - I look at everything both people can bring to the table, and if I want someone to bring a certain amount of whatever to the table I want to bring that too.

and for me right now? I can't be arsed

Ahh don't get me wrong lu... im not one of those people that 'can't be without' a man.. I absolutely love my partner, but before him I was very very independant and I was fine. Im just trying to explain maybe why *some* people feel like that.

[~TT40~]

i had been in longterm relationships since i was 16..my first lasting for 3 years, then 2 weeks later i got with another man who i was with for 4 1/2 years...when that fell apart, i didn't know how to be on my own...didn't think i could. but managed, and ended up even going to live on my own, for that exact reason, i felt i needed to be able to do it, and felt i SHOULDN'T need/want a partner.

that only lasted 8 months when i met DH and have been with him since...but have to say i am a hell of alot less dependable on DH than I was with my exs.

I know i'm not currently single, and not who you were really aiming your question at...but oh well =P

I think it takes a bigger person to be how you feel - to be able to be alone, and be happy and content.

[isharathena]

I think it's different for different people at different stages in life...I think if you feel you don't need or want a partner then awesome, go for it, but if you want and need one, awesome, go for that too.