Does your appearance reflect who you are?

[Inanna]

If I had long hair I'd wear pig tails Bath!

[Traveller]

I am 30 this year and wear pigtails from time to time

[Party-of-five]

I would like to think my apperance doesnt reflect who i am...I buy clothes that fit and are practical, and I wear lots of black.
I am so looking forward to loosing some weight and buying some pretty clothes and some nice shoes. I like pretty things but I dont wear pretty things because I dont feel comfortable in them.

[Glamourcide]

Aww Berenice!! It's weird.. I *feel* kind of 'old' because I'm heaps more mature than when I was, say, 19... and I see friends my own age who can get away with dressing nuts because they don't have kids and I think, 'Oh, but it wouldn't suit me because I'm an old fuddy-duddy mum' lol... but then I think, 'Well 35's not even old' gaaah, it's so confusing!! I'm still half a teenager somewhere inside!

Lol Fleur, just you wait, I'm already planning outfits There will probably be some skin-tight, bright red, leopard-print pants in my suitcase (courtesy of tattoo_mama, they're like my favourite pants EVERRR) bahahaha!! Without the kids cramping my style, in the big smoke where you can go a little nuts, I will definitely be taking it up a notch

Urgh. I'm such a dag. Lucky I live in Tassie though cos there are a lot of bogans down here, so I just sorta disappear amongst the masses..

Ooh, same here Mel!! Small town, country town... everyone else wears baggy old jeans and boring casual shirts to go everywhere, if I so much as put on heels with my skinny jeans I get stared at like I've grown another head! There's just no point dressing nice when nobody else does, and you stick out in a bad way I getcha
It might help if there were some decent clothing stores around lol *grumble grumble*, all we have is a Supre. Wheee... not :/

[allycat06]

Yeah I think it does. Before DS came along I was an inner city boho and dressed accordingly. I've always had quirky personal style, that wasn't about to change just because I had kids.
Now I just need to move somewhere that reflects who I am....sooo not a burbs gal

[Bathsheba]

Hmmm, yes it could be a bit problematic moving to a country town... My clothing options will be severely limited. DD is by no means a slave to fashion but her recent relocation to a country boarding school has seen her clothing choices make her feel on the outer. She's adapting though by dressing more plainly... It's just what you have to do when you are 15 and want to fit in.

My biggest concern is the harsher sun. I have to say its been easier sheilding my skin from aging UV rays down here in Melbourne than it will be up north. Maybe its why i dont generally look my age. Girls: wear sun block daily even when it's overcast. I stopped tanning when I was 15... The best thing I ever did to help me look closer to how I feel rather than my actual age. You hear so many little old ladies who say that they still feel 21 inside... Don't laugh but I'm getting a glimpse of that... It's quite disconcerting. SPF minimum of 15 in your foundation girls

[tattoo_mama]

i feel like i am nowhere near as hot as i am in my head
in my head i look like my avatar.... skinny and love wearing revealing goth type clothes, but in reality i dont have the time or money to look like that.

i often get depressed caus i feel very un-feminine, cause ive put on a good 10kg since having DD and usually get around in jeans and a top, and have cut my hair very short, i feel like a boy alot...

on weekends when i go out i find thst my clothes arent as outrageous as id like and i always spend ages doing makeup and end up looking really dull compared to the girls who can do amazing makeup effects, fake lashes and can afford amazing corsets and stuff... plus i think i look good in photos but not IRL...

[smiles4u]

At a BB meetup last year I felt like wearing plaited pigtails... but I am 40 for goodness sake!!! But I still wore them :P I knew that the BB girls wouldn't judge me harshly though... oh and i got chatted up by a suit at the club we went to! haha! But yes... I am also conscious of not dressing as lamb when i am well and truly mutton hehe BUT if it's authentic then why not? For me pigtails have never been that unusual...

Bath that's the very first thing i noticed about you the second time i met you that you had plaited pigtails and as for me a woman also in my 40's i thought wow good for her cause she damn well gets away with it and it looks great, as on some 40yo women it may more than sadly likely not.

For me my style i feel revolves around my weight, when i'm slimmer i can find the style of clothing that i like that reflects me whereas when i stack on weight finding clothes of my like of style lacks but there still will be tricklets of my style whether it be through a jacket or accessories.

My family and friends know my costume jewellery and love of boots reflect my style of who i feel on the inside !

I keep telling my DP if i was a size 10 i would the funkiest Mum in her 40's in town without looking like i'm trying to be an 18yo cause the clothes i find and love in OP shops (ah yep i'm an OP shop addict) are never in my size but seems always to be in a size 10 and it's not that i want to be a size 10 either as i've been there and size 12 suits me better

[fionas]

Oh don't get me started, I've been bloody ridiculous lately prancing around the house at 2am trying on outfits now that I've dragged out my pre-pregnancy clothes. Have turned into a complete show pony, day dreaming about what to wear the next day and scouring the internet for my next purchase. I haven't EVER been this obsessed with clothes.

Do they reflect my personality? I have no idea really. Yesterday I wore a tailored jacket with puffy sleeves with a secondhand Danish medallion and a skirt from a Melbourne indie boutique. Today I wore skinny jeans and a floppy cropped jumper. Tomorrow I want to wear a new floral skirt I've just bought and am eyeing off a chocolate leather biker jacket to possibly go with it. Am also this close to buying a pair of navy t-bar clogs.

Like Inanna, for me it's about feeling good and feeling a bit creative. I couldn't give a rats about what other people wear and am actually a bit suspicious of people who dress well. You'd probably put most of my friends in the slightly scruffy and dishevelled category (including DP).

[~Kaz~]

The short answer is no for me but I think it depends on who's doing the perceiving.

I have tended to dress more conservatively as I have gotten older. I definitely used to have more of an individual style. I wore lots of long skirts and quirky things from op shops in my 20s than I do in my 30s. I think a few things have affected the change in my presentation - age, living in the country as mentioned by pp does limit the fashion options, having DS has changed my body image permanently. I always had a love-hate relationship with my body and I still do but I view my body very differently now. I'm also the heaviest I've ever been in my life (outside of pg) so that has limited the types of clothing I feel comfortable in. There's also the practical side to being a mum which means that dressing up doesn't always work with what I do in the day. On the other hand, I tend to dress quite differently (corporate usually with heels and business shirts etc) for work. So like a pp suggested, I do present myself differently at work versus at home versus on outings with my mum's group etc.

The other thing I've had going on my whole life in terms of appearance and the judgements of others is my cleft lip and palate. I was judged for that as a kid and teen. It's smack bang in the middle of my face, no hiding it. Plus I had major dental issues and braces so that made people look a little closer I guess. I don't wear make-up now except to weddings and other really special events. I can't be bothered, I don't like putting that stuff on my face every day and although I think make-up makes me look better, I kind of have this attitude that if people don't bother to look beyond the surface (cause it ain't that hot! lol) then I'm not interested. I've had that attitude since I was a teenager and going through all the plastic surgery and dental work which started in Year 5 and ended at the end of Yr 12. I think having a cleft has definitely shaped who I am and how I view others. I know my mates are spending time with me because of what's on the inside, not the outside. I take a similar approach to Leesa actually, what comes out of a person's mouth, their body language and general demeanour is WAY more important than how conventionally attractive they are or what they're wearing. When I "look" at my friends, they are quite an eclectic bunch in terms of appearance. I think it's natural to judge others and ourselves by what we look like, it's almost impossible to avoid in the current Western culture with its focus on appearance, physical beauty, models, youth etc. I do make initial judgements on the appearance of others only in so far as what it tells me about the way they are choosing to present themselves to the world, after that initial impression it's all down to what they say and how they behave.

Personally I am still working on accepting what I look like. I accept my cleft and my face but this new post-birth body is taking some time to wrap my head around! I've also just discovered the marvels of hair straightening. I've always had curly, wavy, thick hair that was impossible to tame without heaps of mousse every single day. I can't believe I've made it this far through life without considering straightening it before. It goes to show how anti- traditional beauty and grooming (if I can phrase it like that) I have been. I had no idea about straighteners but apparently most of my female friends own one!!! and it has made me wonder what else I might me missing!

Just as an aside, I think that a person's appearance does influence (to some extent) their self perception and their personality. It's not the whole story, obviously but it's definitely a factor. I'm pretty sure there's some social psychology research around to show that attractive people (in the conventional sense) tend to be more successful in their careers, are better able to influence others and are more popular (at least while they are young) than less conventionally attractive people.

[smiles4u]

Like Inanna, for me it's about feeling good and feeling a bit creative. I couldn't give a rats about what other people wear

:yeahthat: that's me in a nutshell, although i have to admit i notice people's hair more than their clothes, comes from working with cancer patients without hair ... hair just seems precious to me at times and i don't take having it for granted !