DP''s Ex - What Would Be An Emotionally Mature Way To Handle This?

[Inanna]

:yeahthat: again... (what is it with you Lulu!) I reckon you've hit the nail on the head...

[fionas]

Oh, it's totally about my need to tell her that I think she's rude

And I absolutely know it won't achieve anything.

I just find it really difficult to do even the "I'll just get DSD" on the phone.

Her whingy, whiney voice annoys me. Her fake politeness annoys me. The last time I answered the phone, I simply said DSD wasn't in, said yes I would tell her she called and hung up before she could say anything more. That felt rude to me and I hate feeling childish and hypocritical - you're rude so I'M going to be rude but I'm not going to tell you why, I'm just going to BE rude.

Bloody woman. And stupid me for being OTT over-analyser.

[Lulu]

You should probably find a way to annoy her back - just so you can let off some of that pent up backlog you got going there. Maybe just make farting noises down the line, or speak to her in a russian accent whilst trying to keep a straight face, or tell her you have taken yodelling lessons and treat her to a rendition of....some yodelling song

Go on I DARE you!

[blackduckies]

fantastic Lulu...I particully like the yodelling lessons and giving a rendition
ROFL, ROLF, ROLF.

[fionas]

maybe, when DSD isn't here, I say to her "yep, just hang on ..."


and leave the phone. And leave the room.

I think maybe that I should get over the "I hate being rude" thing and just be as short and as abrupt as possible. If she questions it ie. "why are you so rude," then I'll explain but otherwise no point spending the next fortnight carefully crafting draft emails. (I always sit on things for ages, writing and rewriting before sending, I'm the Queen of Self-Restraint)

[Lulu]

Here, I'll do it for you.


"YOU SUCK and I spend waaayyy too much time wondering why you don't seem to give a rats about your daughters progress. Here is a song I learnt in yodelling class"


Alternatively if you have a webcam you can try and express yourself through interpretive dance...

*oh sorry I just remembered you were looking for Emotionally Mature ways to handle this, mybad.

[fionas]

I love the fact that the emotionally mature forum has given me carte blanche to be very immature.

I could try DSD's line on her when we get telemarketers and that is to say "sorry, no English."

Now I can go away and think of lots of smartypants responses which, let's face it, is way more fun than sitting down and drafting an email explaining my feelings.

[fionas]

"is DSD there"

"yes, but I need you to help me fill out a survey first. Question one, 'are you a ****head?'

[blackduckies]

Sorry Fiona, I feel like I am crashing your thread now, and I am definately not laughing at you...but seriously Lulu I can only give the excuse that in an hours time i am overdue and over it..is that acceptable.
She sneaks off and quietkly sits back in her corner ( I promise i won't be back in )

[blackduckies]

Inanna and Lulu, i think you are spot on.
Fiona, its not worth it..I bet if you do it you'll feel worse later on, write it down sleep on it, maybe just the fact you say it write, it read, it will make all the difference. The emotion involved in it for you will make you do something that you would'nt noramlly do, I agree just get her daughter when she rings, don't go out of your way anymore, she obviously does'nt want you to.
i persoanlly would'nt like it,no matter how good the intentions were, I am in no way defending her and regardless of why the girl lives with you and her dad, it would still hurt.
Goodluck but think long and hard about it.