Feeling so overwhelmed with going out

[Doing my best]

I am not sure where to put this one..

I am starting to get so overwhelmed with going out with my kids without DH.

For the most part my children are good.. They will sit quietly and amuse each other for a little while, but I also believe they should be able to be kids and not have to sit still for me to have a coffee/lunch at catch up with friends (that is an awful long time for a little one). Now DS is quite mobile (on his feet, but not walking solo yet), the thought of going places scares me, so much so that I feel sick at the thought of it. I am happy to have catch ups at peoples houses, but not play centres, lunches at cafes etc..

Am I the only one?

I feel really bad. I was meant to go for a meet with some other Mum's earlier this week, but when the time came, I felt so sick in the morning, think I read more into the small signs of the children that they might be unwell, and didn't go.. Turns out we were all fine by lunch time.. I don't like letting others down, but then I feel so worked up about going and make it all seem so much worse..

[widdly]

oh hun, it sounds like you are sufering some anxiety atm x

One way to overcome the anxiety is to take small steps.

Maybe step one would be to take the kids with a friend to a small cafe/restaurant/playcafe when its not busy. An once you can manage to go there without feeling that huge anxiety, then go somewhere bigger, then go somewhere with the kids but without the friend, so you are doing it on your own.

Baby steps usually works well for me x

[ss_storm]

take it one step at a time...could you take the kids out with your mum or a close friend who understand what you're going through? And just stay for a short time, a quick drink or morning tea, and then gradually extend it until you would have time to have a proper meal. Choose a cafe that is kid-friendly (have high chairs, maybe a toy basket for the kids).

I worry about going out with DD, but I've enjoyed the couple of times we have had morning tea or lunch together at a lovely cafe in town. Even if I've eaten really quickly so we can be out of there before she gets sick of sitting! We went to a chinese restaurant when family were down here for her birthday, she was pretty loud and kept throwing food all over the floor (just great trying to pick up bits of rice off the floor! Lol), but you know kids will be kids and you can't shut them in a box, so I think as long as they are being pretty well behaved try not to worry too much, and even if they do throw a tantrum, it's not the end of the world

[StrawberryMumma]

No!..Definitely not the only one!
I dread it a bit too..it's hard work! My little ones aren't overly naughty either, but still having them out in a public place where they are confined really scares me sometimes too!

Don't feel bad Having little ones close together in agecan be very stressful but it will get easier

[Laranna]

No, definitely not the only one, especially indoor play centres. I actually didn't show up to a BB meetup a few months ago because it was at a play centre and I chickened out When it was just DS and I, it was ok as I could watch him carefully. Now that I have DD as well and she still needs alot of my attention, needs feeding etc, I can't keep my eyes on DS all the time. Every time we have been to an indoor play centre this year, he has hurt himself, fallen off something and now I just don't go to them. I am so paranoid that I'll lose him or he'll really injure himself. I much prefer catch ups at friends houses or just at playgroup, feels safer itms...

don't feel bad about it! You're not the only one.

[*star*]

Is it worth going into it thinking that your kids may enjoy it (even if they are sitting still for a while)?

Although it may be unusual, my DD loves coming out for a coffee with friends / family. She gets to have a babycino (frothed milk) and feels like she is so grown up. Perhaps you are feeling guilty about them having to sit still when they really wouldn't mind? Get them to pack some small toys / colouring books that they'd like to do when out and if they want to roam, let them within reason.

Perhaps it's just because I only have one, that I actually find this time enjoyable, and DD does too. Just a different perspective, may or may not help.