My kids only have one set of living grandparents and they are a little confused about where Daddy's parents are??? To add to it, one of his brothers has a wife who for some reason seems to dislike me, why?? I have only met her twice!!! so needless to say we don't see them..so thats kind of taking out one side of the family for them which is sad as they have cousins not too much older than them.. The other brother we do see.. but his kids are older and are living overseas etc so we don't see or hear from them at all.
What can you do??? Maybe you have to make sure there is a family history/tree to pass on... if nothing else it is interesting to see family groups and names etc. Plus it is very easy to lose that over a short time frame.
It could be one of those situations where it might just be better to imagine it would have been a great life having had them in it...but like a lot of people say you can choose your friends but not your family.. and they choose to do just that, becasuse they have big conflicts amongst themselves, and it easier/better for everyone to stay away.
Goodluck Maz, I can imagine it would be difficult always wondering.
Interesting subject. Both my mother's parents died before I was 5. I saw my Grandad die at 3 and remember it clearly as he just passed out on the side of the road whilst my sister and I were waiting for him to come home. He died there from a heart issue. My Nan died when I was 5 of ovarian cancer. I never met my Dad's parents they had died well before I was born. I think because of this I don't really know my Dad's family have no relationship with them and my mum has one brother. When I hear people talk about first cousins and second cousins and grandparents I sometimes think it would be nice to have the big family party. Enough family that if people don't turn up you still have a party lol. I never had that.
The other side of the coin which is why I find this subject inetresting is that I have done the same to my DS and bubba 2. I moved from England nearly 8yrs ago. All my family are in England I have no relatives out here. My DS sees DH's parents at least every week sometimes more and they have a fantastic relationship. But then even though DH has got a big family a brother and sister, aunts uncles, a granny (he hasn't seen since he was 21..long story) we never see them that much there is a rift between his parents and sister so there are never any big fmaily get togethers and his brother lives in ADL so christmas is the only time we see his brother and family.
Sorry this has become really long, but I do think it's important for them to see grandparents and family. It breaks my heart every weekend when my mum skypes us and DS just wants to play or sometimes won't even say hi or have a chat. Even with the new technology the bond is just not there. DS has only ever met my mum, he has never met my dad, sister, niece or nephew nor my uncle and his family.
Again sorry for how log it is this is just a subject close to my heart.
for me personally, I dont think I would have been better off knowing my grandparents!
my dads father committed suicide, the year after I was born. He had remarried and had 2 children to another woman, my dads sisters (there are 5 of them) were concerned that he may have been sexually molesting the daughter as he had with all of them, so they all decided to take him to court, he took the cowards way out.
My nana, dads mum, is a bit loopy, always has been aparantley, she wouldnt know who I was if she fell over me (she didnt even know who her own son was, he tried to give her a lift one day and she freaked out!). After hearing quite a bit about how my father grew up, Im actually glad that neither were a part of my life.
My mums father was an alcoholic, who divorced my grandmother in the 70's, and shacked up with one of his "floozies" ( I always thought that was funny, as to me she was that old, she was ancient!!) only ever saw him at xmas and easter, he died when I was 14, I always regret not having made more of an effort to get to know him, as he lived just down the road from us, but he was always at the pub anyway.
my mums mum, grandma, is still around, she is a dear, I love her to bits, but she is a bit loopy too. There is bad blood in the family towards her and I still carry a little guilt (even though I know I shouldnt ) about it, her second husband was a bit of a pedophile, he had parkinsons disease and would always "accidently" fall on top of me or (girl) cousins and then start humping us, we always thought it was funny until we grew up and were told the truth many years later.
anyway, his nephew had just been released from prison for rape or some thing similar and was staying at their house, mum desperately needed someone to look after me (I was 2) after being assured by my GMA that HE wasnt there, she left me there, when I was picked up I told mum about how "ricky" put his hands in my knickers, and told me not to tell anyone....
needless to say no one spoke to my GMa for years, some of my aunties and uncles still dont. She only lives around the corner from my mums place, and now that the 2nd husband is dead, I do acyually try to make an effort with her, man, she has some interesting things to say!
so, yeah, sorry for the ramble, but, like I said for me, not a biggie!
My parents are a big part of Js life, sadly the same cant be said for DPs parents, his father is ATM living in a commune in the phillipines, he is a big hippie and doesnt really believe in "emotional" attacthments...
His mother has BIPolar and everything is always about her, we try to see as little of her as possible, due to her drug addict, abusive boyfriend, and their attitudes to life, not something I want J exposed to. In the 18 months since we had J, she has been to our place once, the other 2 (!) times she has seen him, we were somewhere else she was at the same time. oh well.
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I always thought that was funny, as to me she was that old, she was ancient!!) only ever saw him at xmas and easter, he died when I was 14, I always regret not having made more of an effort to get to know him, as he lived just down the road from us, but he was always at the pub anyway.
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